Everything We've Known
by 1927
Summary: Alex has never really liked goodbyes. Especially not these. Nate/Alex with a twist.
1. A Picture's Worth 1,000 Words

**A/N: **This is my 1st fanfic, and it's a NALEX (Nelena) hurt/comfort fic...But will Alex ever get the courage to tell Nate how she feels? Or will she be too late, and simply watch them leave for Hollywood? Read and find out! I REALLY hope you like it. Please, please tell me what you think! I LOVE feedback. I wanted to give this a try because I thought I could portray Alex's feelings in this story pretty well...I think a lot of us have been in some form of this type of situation. This fanfic will predominantly take place in the present, but will be accompanied by various flashbacks to show you all the history between Alex & Nate (and other friends), and their memories. Hopefully it gives you a more introspective and personal ook into the story. Thanks for reading, and let me know your opinions! Lovelovelove, Cami **;)**

**P.S. **Connect 3 aren't famous yet! They're leaving to make their FIRST album at the end of the summer! So this story is about a bunch of your everyday teens :). Oh, and no wizard powers for Alex, I'm mostly just focusing on the relationships between all the characters. If you like it, I'll continue the story!

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**Everything We've Known  
**_Chapter 1 – A Picture's Worth 1,000 Words  
_

Alex Russo stood at her locker, silently cleaning out the contents and letting a small unconscious smile creep over her face. The hallway was quiet—the final bell to announce the end of the school year had rang just 10 minutes before and already the students had all emptied the building, eager to start their summers as soon as possible. Normally, Alex would have been one of the first out the doors, doing cartwheels down the lawn and racing off to the pool with her friends. But for some reason, Alex had almost felt…sad when she heard that final bell ring and watched the entire class jump from their seats, throwing up ripped up notebooks and chewed-on pencils into the air. This had been one of her best years of school—and that was saying something. Alex was _not_ a fan of school, to say the least. But this year had passed so quickly. So she took her time after the bell, hanging around to sign the last of the yearbooks and exchanging phone numbers.

Besides, Alex realized as she tossed last week's Algebra homework into the nearest trash can, she had promised she would wait for Mitchie to finish talking to Ms. Devin, the school music teacher, before leaving. And knowing Mitchie, that would probably take another hour or two. Alex chuckled to herself as she took a glance around the hallway. Something about the emptiness of the school made her feel lonely. She was used to kids crowding around the lockers, shoving past people and gossiping to no end. She focused on cleaning out her locker to ignore the silence.

"Eww," she groaned, peeling out what looked like an unfinished ice cream cone. She tossed it into the trash before wiping her fingers off on a month old biology quiz. Lifting the quiz aside, her eyes landed on the corner of a photograph, hidden under a pile of textbooks. She grunted to push them aside, and yanked out the photo. Before she knew it, that unconscious grin was spreading over her face yet again as she gazed down at the picture. She smoothed out the crumpled corners and smiled at the two little boys and the younger, smaller version of herself. They must have been about 6 years old, if she remembered correctly. She was positively beaming, a giant ear-to-ear grin plastered on her face, and her hair flew about in two unruly braids. She was on Nate's back, her arms thrown around his neck and her tiny legs wrapped around his waist. He too, wore an identical grin on his face and was slightly bent over from trying to support Alex's weight. He was in a running position, chasing after a laughing Shane, who was just a few feet ahead. He had half of his head turned back at them, his mouth opened mid-laugh as he watched the two of him chase him. They were outside the Russo's home, on Franklin Avenue, the street where all three of them lived. It had just rained and the pavement was wet, yet the three of them didn't seem to mind. After all, what little kid doesn't love rain? Alex closed her eyes in the hallway, almost smelling the scent of the damp air and remembering the way the lamppost's light cast long shadows on the slowly darkening street…

**- Flashback (Spring 1998) -**

"_Alex! Watch me, Lex!" Nate cried, pumping his legs up into the air as his swing rose higher and higher. Alex laughed in delight, clapping her hands excitedly._

_"Me too, Nate!" she shrieked, slipping off of the play-structure. "Race you there, Shane!"  
_

_The two of them sprang up in a mad dash to the swingset, always up for a race. Alex had a head start, but Shane's longer legs quickly caught up to Alex's shorter ones as he reached out and grabbed a swing to claim his victory. _

_"Beat you!" Shane teased, and Alex stuck her tongue out at him._

_"Fine, but I wanna sit by Nate!" she cried, yanking on Shane's sleeves so he would trade swings with her and she would be in the middle._

_Shane laughed and obliged, switching swings and watching Alex struggle to hoist herself up on to the just-out-of-reach swing._

_"Mmmf!" Alex grunted, pulling herself up. It took her a while, but she would never ask for help. Both Shane and Nate had learned long ago that she was too stubborn to allow them to just lift her up onto the swing. Each time they offered, she would look at them defiantly and say, "No, I can do it!"_

_As soon as she had managed to situate herself on the swing, she began kicking her legs furiously in attempt to catch up to Nate. Nate grinned and slowed his swinging in order for the two of their swings to be in sync. Their swings rocked back and forth together, perfectly in unison, and Alex cried, "Hey look, Nate, we're swinging together!"_

_"That means you're married!" taunted Shane, his swing already flying feet above the two of them. _

_"Huh?" Alex asked, looking up at Shane in confusion. Shane grinned and pretended to look shocked._

_"Don't you know? If two people swing together at the exact same time, it means they're married!"_

_Alex stuck her tongue out again and looked down at her feet, but Nate just looked questioningly at Shane. "Well, what's so bad about that? I'd rather be married to Alex than to any other stupid girl."_

_Alex visibly brightened, but Shane grinned and teased, "I thought you wanted to marry Mom, Nate!"_

_"Nuh uh!" Nate yelled, shaking his head, "I'm marrying Lexie, and you said so too!"_

_Alex smiled at the use of one of her nicknames, and secretly was comforted by the fact that Nate was sticking up for her. Shane shrugged, realizing his teasing victims weren't bothered by his jokes, and decided to move on. Instead, he smiled as his eyes lit up and he said, "Hey, that means you're my sister-in-law, Lex!"_

_"And you're my brother-in-law!" she said back, smiling. Shane and Nate were already like brothers to her._

_"But don't forget, you're MY wife," said Nate, grinning from the other side of her and attempting a wink. His whole face scrunched up in concentration as he tried to get one eye to stay open and stay shut, the way Shane and Jason had taught him to. _

_Alex giggled. "You better keep practicing the wink, Nate." _

_Nate laughed and started to pump his legs faster, yelling, "C'mon Lex! Let's jump!"  
_

_"Jump? From all the way up here?" Alex asked incredulously, kicking her legs._

_"You can do it!" said Nate reassuringly, reaching for her tiny hand across the gap between the two swings. "Don't be scared."_

_Alex bit her lip, furrowing her little eyebrows together. If Nate would do it, then she would too. "Okay," she answered, taking his warm hand in her own, "Let's do it!"_

_"Like this!" Shane cried, launching himself off the swing and flying through the air, landing yards away but managing to stay standing. "Whoohoo!" he shouted, throwing his hands up._

_"When I count to three, okay Lex?" Nate asked, watching her expression carefully. Alex nodded, her chin firmly set, determined._

_"One..two..THREE!" Nate shouted, and the two of them leaped, their hands still clasped together. They soared up, up, up in the air, shrieking, until gravity began to pull them down again in a matter of seconds. And suddenly, with a crash, they landed haphazardly on the grass. Their hands were still connected, but Nate had stayed on his feet and Alex had somehow landed differently, skinning her knee in the dirt._

_"Ouch, ow, ow!" Alex whimpered, clutching at her knee. Nate was up in a flash, kneeling by her side and reaching for her knee._

_"I'm sorry Alex, we shouldn't have jumped!" he cried, his face twisted up in worry. "It's my fault, Lex, are you okay!?" _

_Alex nodded bravely, trying not to cry. "It hurts, Nate," she whispered, and Nate bit his lip in concern as he leaned over and attempted to touch her skinned knee._

_"No, don't touch it!" Alex yelped, leaping away and trying to get up._

_"Alex, we have to clean it up." Shane said, "It's just bleeding, let me clean it!"_

_"NO!" yelled Nate, pushing Shane aside, "She said don't touch it!"_

_Shane frowned at Nate, and then sighed. "Well, we at least have to get her home, Nate. I'll carry you, Al."_

_Alex whimpered again and said, "No, I can walk!" She attempted once more to stand, but her knee gave out on her. "Ow!" she cried, a sharp pain running through her leg._

_"Alex!" Nate yelled, running to brace her as she fell back, and for once, Alex didn't protest. _

_"I'll carry you, okay Allie?" he whispered, and Alex looked up at him. Only a very select group of people could call her Allie, and Nate always used this to his advantage._

_Alex slowly nodded and let him pull her gently on to her back, huffing slightly. He was small too, almost as small as her, but he stood up resolutely, his heart set on carrying Alex the whole way home. _

_"Are you sure you can carry her, Nate?" Shane asked doubtfully, "I can do it, you know."_

_"I..can..DO IT." Nate puffed, glaring at his brother and tightening his grip on his best friend. _

_"You'll be okay, Allie," he whispered, and Alex buried her face in Nate's comforting shoulder. "I've got you."_

_"Okay, then.." Shane said, a devious smile forming on his face, "Race you back home!!" he screeched, taking off before Nate could protest._

_"SHANE! That's not fair!" Nate yelled after him, never one to turn down a challenge. Alex giggled for the first time since she had fallen, wiping unshed tears and lifting her head from Nate's shoulder. "You can do it, Nate!" she said, and Nate brightened at the sound of her voice._

_"Should we try, then?" he asked, grinning at her and trying not to laugh. Alex loved how he said "we".  
_

_"Yeah!" she cried eagerly, giving him a kick. "Giddy-yup!"_

_Just as the two friends began to chase after Shane, Nate padding along and Alex cheering, giant drops of rain began to plunk down, hitting them as they ran._

_"It's raining!" exclaimed Alex joyfully, her skinned knee forgotten. She giggled and held on tighter to Nate, who was also laughing as he ran along, jumping into newly-forming puddles along the road. "We're coming, Shane!" they screamed, Shane looking back and laughing a few steps ahead of them._

_Alex shook her drenched hair out of her eyes as they turned the corner and her house came into sight, the first one on the block. Nate and Shane's house sat beside it, and their moms sat on the Russo's front porch, waving at their kids. "Dinner's ready!" they called, and the three came sprinting along, yelling at each other the whole way._

_As they neared the house, Shane stopped on the Russo's lawn, panting from running all the way. Nate took his opportunity then, sprinting to the house yelling, "We beat you! We beat you!"_

_Shane laughed and nodded, and Nate reached his arm out backwards for a high five from Alex. Alex slapped his palm and held on to his small hand, squeezing gently._

_"Thank you, Nate," she whispered into his ear, and he craned his head around to look at her, simply nodding and smiling._

**- End Flashback -**

Alex was broken out of her reminiscing when she felt two, steady hands wrap around her eyes.

"Guess who?" an all too-familiar voice asked, a smile clearly heard in their voice.

Alex groaned and felt her tensed shoulders relax. "Nate, you're never going to be any good at that, no matter how hard you try."

Nate laughed and released her, spinning her around to face him. "Hey, you said that about my wink, and I finally perfected it, didn't I?"

"True," Alex said admittedly, unable to keep herself from smiling, "But this is different."

"How are you _always_ able to tell when it's me?" Nate groaned, making a puppy dog face. "You could at least lie to me now and then so I think I'm being convincing."

Alex smiled. "You're my best friend, I should be able to tell by now, Nate. But if it makes you feel better, next time I'll lie."

Nate grinned and swooped her into a hug. "Thanks Allie," he said, squeezing the breath out of her. "And you know, you're my best friend too, right?"

"Yeah," Alex whispered, managing a weak smile as her voice quavered slightly, "I know, Nate."


	2. Just Friends

**Everything We've Known  
**_Chapter 2 – Just Friends_

"Hey, what's that?" Nate asked, curiously peering over Alex's shoulder to look at the photograph.

"It's us," Alex grinned, smiling once again at the Kodak moment captured in her fingertips.

"Aw, Lex," Nate chuckled, snatching the photograph and yanking it out of her reach, "You were so cute!"

Alex put her hands on her hips and said jokingly, "Don't you mean I AM so cute?"

Nate laughed and put the photo back in Alex's locker, reaching out to ruffle Alex's hair. "I mean both," he said comfortably, shrugging and smiling at his best friend.

Alex felt her heart flutter and she had to break eye contact, nervously playing with her backpack. She didn't understand how he could say that with such ease, without even realizing that it made Alex's stomach twist in knots and her heart leap with joy. How could he have such an affect over her and not even know it? That was Nate for you. He had the best of intentions—but sometimes he could be the most oblivious guy on the planet. He had yet to realize that girls practically swooned over him every time he passed through the hallways. But as for Alex...she wasn't used to the feeling that Nate gave her either. After all, they were best friends. He _should_ be able to call her cute without inducing butterflies and sweaty palms. But somehow, along the course of their friendship, Alex had started to fall—hard. And Nate...well, Nate hadn't noticed, let alone reciprocated the feeling. It hadn't happened in one day, and it certainly wasn't the "love at first sight" kind of love. But slowly and surely, Alex had started to realize that she laughed just a little too hard whenever Nate was around. And she was certain that whenever they touched, even a simple brush of the hand, Alex jumped back in shock. There was always that little spark that Nate never seemed to notice. How could she feel something so overwhelming towards him, without him realizing? How could it affect just one of them? He wasn't even feeling 1/4...no, 1/100 of the things she was.

"Earth to Alex..?" Nate was calling, waving his hand desperately in front of Alex's line of sight.

"Whoa." Alex said, snapping out of it. "Sorry, Nate," she smiled, apologetically. "I'm just a little out of it."

"I noticed," he said, grinning adorably back at her. Alex felt her knees start to buckle a little, and she turned away and grabbed her locker casually for support.

'_Hold yourself together, Alex! He's your BEST FRIEND. Nothing more, not now, not __ever__.' _she chided herself, wanting to slap herself in the face. This was pathetic. She wasn't supposed to be the one who fell head-over-heels for a boy. Especially not Nate. She had always been so in control, so...closed off to others. Why was this happening _now_?

She turned her attention back to her messy locker, rummaging through a sheaf of loose notebook paper and post-it notes. She smiled at the autographed Connect 3 poster taped to the door of her locker, and peeled it off with care.

"You know," she said to Nate, changing the subject, "I could probably auction this poster off for a hundred bucks on eBay."

Nate laughed. "I'll sign a million for you if that's what you want. But I think there are a lot more ways for you to make a living, Lex."

Alex giggled. "True, but I really do want another one," she said, "Mine's starting to rip at the edges."

"I don't understand why you want a poster of us," Nate said, "You've got the real thing right next to you!"

"Yes, but I need a complete collection of autographed posters in order to transform myself into the die-hard fangirl that I am," she joked, her tone suddenly changing, "And...when you guys leave at the end of this summer for Hollywood...I'll always have them to remember."

Her face fell a little as she looked down at her feet and bit her lip. Whenever she started to feel sad or vulnerable, Alex refused to make eye contact. It was a habit she had developed many years ago, and she had never quite understood why or when she had picked it up.

"C'mon, Allie," Nate said, putting down his backpack and reaching out to her. He put his hand on her chin gently and lifted it up so she was looking at him. "Please, don't do this to me. I can't stand it when you're sad, you know that. And we'll visit as soon as we finish the album and go on tour, every chance we get."

Alex didn't move, her chin cupped in Nate's hand. It was so cliché, and yet she couldn't help but believe him. She never had any power over his words--it was that earnest look in his eyes that got her, everytime. She tried to nod, but all she could do was stare unblinkingly into Nate's warm brown eyes, mere inches away from her own. The corners of his mouth turned up into a smile as he watched her.

"Don't forget, we have the entire summer together at Camp Rock before we have to leave. Just you, me, Shane, Jason, and Mitchie."

Nate let go of Alex's chin and she managed to force a breathless nod. What was she supposed to do without him? How was she supposed to go around like everything was okay? How was a summer supposed to make up for a lifetime of unspoken words? She smiled at him, but it felt empty and fake.

"I'm so happy for you, Nate." Alex said woodenly, trying to make her voice sound earnest and believable. "I really am."

"I know you are," Nate said simply, shifting his hands to Alex's shoulders and holding her steady. "Because I'd be so happy for you."

Alex felt a little piece of her shatter, her own lie breaking and turning to cut her into smaller pieces. Everything she had said was a lie. How could he trust her so openly, without question? She couldn't bring herself to be happy for him if it meant he would leave. And yet, here Nate stood, smiling at her and telling her how he would be happy for her. It broke her heart, because that meant everything. It meant he was a better person, for being selfless. But it also meant, that inevitably, he couldn't possibly love her nearly as much as she loved him. It meant that he would, that he _could_, let go of her. And this was why, Alex knew that she could never have what she wanted with Nate. They were always, always, just friends. If it had been anybody else she were in love with, Alex would have gone for it. She would have jumped recklessly into things, knowing that Nate would always be there to pick up the pieces if something went terribly wrong. But because it _was_ Nate, she couldn't risk it. There would be no one left to fix her up if he was gone. She looked up and stole another glance at his eyes, clear, bright, concerned, and staring unnervingly into her own. It was hard for her to even look him straight in the eye, because she felt like he could see right through her. But if this were true, why couldn't he see what had been in front of him all along?

"Alex, Nate!" cried a voice from the end of the corridor.

Alex and Nate turned, Alex stepping back from Nate in shock. Nate looked at her confusedly, his arms falling from her shoulders to his side as she stepped away. Alex couldn't help but blush furiously, something she would have never normally done. She hated this, all of it. Her brain could force itself to accept that they were just friends--but her body and her heart? They couldn't seem to bring themselves to understand. She looked away to see her other best friend, Mitchie Torres, running toward them.

"Mitchie!" she said back, shaking all thoughts of Nate vigorously from her head and catching the running Mitchie into a hug.

"You ready for summer, Al!?" she shrieked, jumping excitedly, unable to contain herself.

"Of course!" Alex grinned feebly, forcing false enthusiasm into her voice, "How could I _not_ be?"

Mitchie squealed, and Nate shook his head in amusement. "Girls," he said, and he received an eye roll from both Alex and Mitchie.

"You're not allowed to say that!" Mitchie exclaimed, crossing her arms in mock anger, "You're best friends with TWO of them!"

Nick shrugged his shoulders and said, "So? That doesn't mean I don't make fun of them every day," he teased.

Alex slapped his shoulder playfully and emptied the rest of the contents of her locker into the trash can, sliding the Connect 3 poster and the photo of her, Nate, and Shane into her backpack.

"I'm ready!" she jumped up, satisfied. Mitchie and Nate laughed at her idea of cleaning.

"To the ice cream parlor, my friends!" Mitchie cried dramatically, linking arms with Alex as the three of them dashed through the empty hallways, celebrating the start of summer.

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A/N: **What did you think!? I know, it was rather short in comparison to the 1st chapter, but I'm putting it up only one day after! :) So I hope you like it anyways!  
Also, I want to thank all of the 6 people who reviewed/favorited/alerted for being so supportive and welcoming. I'm really starting to love writing this story--and you readers and reviewers make it even better for me, and give me that little push to keep going! I love you! ;)

On a different note, I'd like to say that most of the chapters in the beginning of this story will be more introspective to Alex. I really want to give you a good feel on how she's feeling. So I'm focusing on her--I also don't want to show you guys what Nate is thinking right now. That's for later, once I've established the depth of their relationship :). But I promise, you'll get to see into the mind of the _beautiful_ Nate Gray sooner or later. For now, I just really want you to understand Alex, and also feel her hopelessness (for lack of a better word). She's asking all these questions, and I know it's quite repetitive...I just hope it doesn't get annoying.

So anyways, PLEASE let me know what you think. I love reading every single one of your thoughts, and I mean that. I truly appreciate all of it! Your reviews make me smile like there's no tomorrow. :D

_xoxo, Cami_


	3. That Summer

**A/N: **Another update, yay! Thank you so much to all of you who have been giving me feedback and have been so supportive. I love you! I'm sorry that the story plot is moving so slow right now..! I know, it must be rather tiring/boring. I'm still establishing their background--and will be throughout the story. But they leave for Camp Rock in the next chapter! So you have that to look forward to. Please review--every single one makes me smile, even if it only says a simple "good job"! Suggestions, ideas, & opinions are all appreciated! _xoxo, Cami_

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**Everything We've Known  
**_Chapter 3 – That Summer_

Alex shoved the rest of her Cookies 'n Cream ice cream cone into her mouth eagerly, wiping off the crumbs on her jeans and grinning at her friends.

"Whoa there Alex, easy on the ice cream!" Mitchie joked, taking a giant bite of her own Rainbow Sherbet scoop.

"Yooaf ontwoof tark!" Alex retorted through a mouthful of ice cream and rolling her eyes at Mitchie.

"What?" Nate asked, laughing and hitting Alex on the back, "Swallow, Lex!"

Alex gulped down her final bite and repeated, "I said, you're one to talk, Mitchie!"

Mitchie laughed and said, "Hey, what can I say, I like ice cream!" before gobbling down the rest of her Rainbow Sherbet.

Alex giggled and stood up, throwing her backpack over one shoulder. "Okay guys, I think I'm gonna have to jet. I still haven't finished packing for Camp Rock tomorrow, and my mom will totally freak if she beats me home and sees all the dirty laundry in my room..." Alex trailed off, shuddering at the thought.

Mitchie nodded. "Yeah, me too. I've just got to finish packing up my guitar and stuff...But I'll see you bright and early tomorrow at my house!"

Nate grinned smugly and joked, "Unlike you irresponsible _girls_, I've already packed everything, so I'll just catch you guys later."

Alex and Mitchie made a face at Nate as they stepped out of the ice cream shop, waving at him through the window and laughing as he stood up to order another banana split. The two girls unlocked their bikes and hopped on, saying goodbye and parting their separate ways, both ecstatic for the next day's adventures.

Alex pedaled quickly off the main street and down towards her home, swerving off the sidewalk to cut through the woods. As soon as she entered the nature trail, she slowed her pedaling in order to have some quiet time to think. She pedaled along, enjoying the utter silence that was only occasionally broken by the chirp of birds and the scuffle of her own tires on the dirt.

She was beyond excited for Camp Rock. If anything, it was to be the best summer of her life. She hadn't been to Camp Rock since about four years ago, when she, Nate, Shane, and Jason all attended for their first time. It was the year Connect 3 became a band, and she had been all too excited to support her three best friends in their promising future as pop sensations. And it was true, she really was happy for them. But deep down inside, she couldn't help but wish that maybe she hadn't been so supportive. Maybe then they would have given up on their dreams, and maybe her best friends would be staying right here in New Jersey, with her, where they belonged. Not in Hollywood recording their first album and signing their first record deal, but back home in the town where they had grown up together.

Sure, she wouldn't be totally friendless--she had Mitchie, and numerous other people who she could eat lunch with and say hi to in the halls. In fact, she had met Mitchie before Nate, Shane, and Jason. And she had been totally fine before that, hadn't she? But now that the three Gray brothers (well, four, including Frankie) were a part of her life, she could hardly imagine her life without them. Especially Nate...he was her absolute best friend. Even though she had known Mitchie first, she and Nate had always just...clicked. In reality, Mitchie had known the Gray brothers before Alex had, and Mitchie was really the reason she and Nate had met. But they had become fast friends, and quickly grew close while she and Mitchie drifted apart for a while until growing closer again in high school. He had always been so easy to be around--although recently, the butterflies in her stomach and the nervous giggles were starting to get in the way of that ease. But she could force herself to ignore that if it meant that they could at least be friends. Yes, she could ignore her hormones--but could she ignore 3,000 miles between the two of them? That wouldn't be quite as easy.

Alex was so used to Nate always being there. After all, Mitchie hadn't even attended the same school as Alex up until last year. So instead, Alex had turned to Nate--and he had been there for her since she could remember. Only a year after they had met, around the time they were five, Alex and her parents happened to move next door to the Grays. They'd been neighbors on Franklin Avenue ever since. She couldn't imagine not being able to just walk next door whenever she wanted to see Nate. She had grown used to inviting herself into the Gray's home whenever she pleased, often barging up into Nate's room unannounced. And he had been the one to help her through the hard times when her parents had gotten divorced when she was 11, prompting her mom to move out and leaving Alex and her father the only occupants of the house on Franklin Avenue. Without the constant fighting of Teresa and Jerry Russo, the house had been quieter than ever, too lonely and full of memories. From then on, Alex practically spent all her time at the Gray's home, dreading the time she would have to leave and head back to her uninviting house. It was far too silent without her mother's laughter, and sound of her banging pots and pans around in the kitchen. Even Alex's dad felt the change in the house, and suddenly immersed himself in his job, working overtime at his lawfirm and staying out late. There were times Alex even made excuses to sleep at the Gray's, and Mrs. Gray never seemed to mind. Alex considered the house where Nate lived much more of a home to her than her own. She didn't think she could handle the thought of them gone, their belongings packed up and shipped to a house in Beverly Hills, and another family moving into their house. In Alex's mind, it would always be their house, _her_ house.

Alex supposed she would just have to make things work. She could get by with Mitchie at her side, and she would pretend it was okay, for her dad, for Mitchie, for Nate. But there would always be something missing. Things would change drastically. What would she do without them? Alex closed her eyes as she biked out of the woods and turned into her driveway, almost wishing she had never met them. Sure, things might have been awful in comparison. But she would never know the difference, because she would have never known how life _could_ be. And now, to have them wrenched away from her, to leave her suffering? That was worse. Alex could almost remember the day like it was yesterday...

**- Flashback (Summer 1996) -**

_"Alex, can you pass the shovel?" Mitchie asked, digging her toes deep down into the sandbox and reaching out her arm to receive the plastic toy._

_Alex obliged, placing the flimsy shovel into Mitchie's outstretched hand and going back to her digging. They were building a sandcastle, the biggest sandcastle ever. They were both convinced that theirs must be the best sandcastle ever created on the planet. They had been sitting in Mitchie's backyard for hours, piling sand onto a giant heap which they called their castle. Alex was in charge of the building, and Mitchie was the decorator. They were a good team, the two of them, Mitchie patient and diligent, and Alex determined and full of ideas. They were polar opposites, and yet they suited each other--and they had been best friends for quite some time now.  
_

_They had been working in silence, in that way that little kids sometimes don't need words. They were perfectly happy to concentrate on their sculpture, their tiny hands patting and smoothing down the growing pile of sand. All of a sudden, this silence was broken by a crunch in the dirt behind them, a not-meant-to-be-heard step from someone approaching._

_The girls looked up to see a small boy, standing stalk-still at the entrance to Mitchie's backyard. He looked both embarrassed and shocked to find himself getting caught in whatever he was trying to do. Alex furrowed her brows in confusion at the stranger, but Mitchie jumped up from the sandbox and yelled, "Nate!"_

_The boy smiled uneasily and said shyly, "Hi Mitchie,"_

_Mitchie ran up to greet him and said proudly to him, "Nate, this is my best friend in the whole world, Alex!" She waved Alex over and Alex stood up reluctantly from the sandbox, wiping the dirt from her hands off onto her blue jeans._

_Nate was looking confusedly at Mitchie, completely ignoring Alex. He frowned at her before saying quietly, "But I thought I was your best friend, Mitchie."_

_"Well, you are!" said Mitchie matter-of-factly, "You're my boy best friend, and she's my girl best friend!"_

_Alex found this reasonable, and honestly couldn't care less about who deserved the best friend status. But Nate was still frowning and looking at Mitchie sadly. For the first time, he turned to look at Alex, and his eyes scrutinized her carefully. Alex didn't mind the way he was looking at her--she could tell that he was smart, and watchful. He seemed a lot like her, in a way that she couldn't understand. She stared back, letting him know that she was just as curious about him. Instead of continuing to stare, Nate blushed and looked away as fast as possible, turning his attention guiltily back to Mitchie. Alex frowned. She hadn't meant to make him feel embarassed._

_"But..but.." Nate finally spoke, deep in thought. He seemed to be choosing his words carefully, and his face scrunched up in thought. All of a sudden, he seemed to stop thinking as he blurted, "You can't have TWO best friends, Mitchie!!"_

_Mitchie took a step back, surprised. She looked at Nate in shock, at a loss for words. Alex had never seen Mitchie surprised--she always knew what to say at all times. For a little kid, she was really quite bright. But Alex could sense the tension, and it made her feel uncomfortable. She felt like it was her fault, and she was determined to fix it. She looked down at the plastic shovel in her hand, and back up at Nate, who was looking surprised that he had to courage to say such a thing to Mitchie. Though his eyes were apologetic, he clearly wanted to know what Mitchie would say. Unfortunately, Mitchie was still looking at Nate in shock, her mouth slightly open but no words coming out.  
_

_Alex bit her lip and stepped forward, slowly reaching up to tap Nate on the shoulder. He pried his hurt looking eyes away from Mitchie to look at her. She flashed him a winning smile and held her breath. "I'm Alex," she said, still beaming up at him. "And it's really nice to meet Mitchie's best friend. She told me about you!"_

_Nate looked at Alex closely, judging her words. Alex continued to smile, looking at him nervously. "D-do you wanna..help us make a sandcastle?" Alex blurted, offering out her shovel. _

_A slow smile tugged at the corner of Nate's mouth, before it broke through, spreading across his entire face. Alex grinned. She knew that she could make him smile...there was something about that hurt look in his eyes from before that made her feel unhappy. She loved seeing him grin and loved knowing that she had made him that way. Even just meeting him, she could tell that he was honest, and innocent. He had truly wanted to know why Mitchie wasn't his best friend. And the earnest, questioning glow behind his eyes...he was too easy to read, too vulnerable. There was something in Alex that wanted to protect him always. And she vowed to do just that.  
_

_Mitchie beamed at Alex and Alex smiled back. The three of them plopped down in the sandbox and returned to their peaceful silence, six tiny hands quietly molding the best sandcastle ever._

**- End Flashback -**

Alex held in a groan as she shoved her bike against the wall of her garage. She had been unknowingly sitting in her driveway like an idiot for the past 15 minutes, just remembering. She wished she could rewind back to that day and stop herself from giving Nate that shovel. Then Mitchie wouldn't have known what to say, and Alex and Nate would have never become friends. And then she wouldn't be saying goodbye at the end of this summer. Life would be boring, but at least it would be easy. But there had been something in Nate's eyes that day...Alex knew that even if she did have a way to rewind back time, there was no way she would be able to bring herself to leave him standing there, staring at Mitchie with that hurt expression. She had needed to protect him--but lately, he'd been doing all the protecting. He didn't need her anymore, but she still needed him. How had that changed so quickly? It had been her in the beginning who had vowed to watch over him. She had known from the start that she couldn't see him in pain.

_'Well, it looks like you don't have to,'_ Alex thought to herself, _'It's you that'll be getting hurt at the end of this summer.'_

Alex fished in her pocket for her keys and tried to stuff them into the keyhole unsuccessfully. She pushed and shoved, but her impatient hands fumbled frustratedly and wouldn't do their job. "UGH!" She yelled, throwing her keys across the garage and watching them crash against the wall before sinking down to the floor.

Everything had been going wrong lately. It only took the little things for Alex to break down, to come undone. She had to learn to stand on her own two feet. In a short time, Nate wouldn't be there to help her back up again, to catch her when she fell. But what was she supposed to do when the one who always caught her was the one who was unknowingly pushing her to the floor? Nate...her savior, her protector...her heartbreaker, her mistake.


	4. A Million Butterflies

**Everything We've Known  
**_Chapter 4 – A Million Butterflies  
_

Alex awoke once again to the shrill blaring of her alarm clock and rolled over to give it a hearty slap, silencing it's annoying beeps. She groaned and buried her face in her pillow, cursing early mornings. It was the first day of summer, for crying out loud! She was supposed to be able to wake up quietly on her own, to the sound of birds, kids playing in the neighborhood, and the soft background noise of Connect 3 on the radio. Not the ALARM CLOCK! She rolled over once more, finally broken out of her sleep. Staring at the ceiling, she rubbed her forehead, knowing something was not quite right. She had some sort of weird dream last night...something about a song, and Camp Rock...CAMP ROCK!

Alex shot out of bed, getting up and practically hitting her head on her desk in the process. "Shit!" Alex muttered under her breath, "Shit, shit, shit!"

She flew across the room, stopping only long enough to check the time on her alarm clock. _7:27 A.M._ She needed to get all her bags and catch a ride from Jason, and they were all supposed to be at Mitchie's house in 13 minutes! Her heart raced as she ran around the room in a frenzy, yelling at herself for not waking up earlier. She threw her messily packed duffel bags out into the hallway and shoved a few notebooks full of her songs into her backpack, breathing heavily. Ugh! She must have fallen asleep last night while packing...it _had_ gotten pretty late. Yep, that was it, Alex confirmed, looking down at her clothing. She hadn't even bothered to change out of her jean shorts and plain white v-neck tee, and she had fallen asleep on top of her covers with her favorite red Converse still on. _'Well,' _she thought, racing around her room, _'at least that'll save me the time it would have taken to get dressed.'_

Tossing a handful of scarves and her make-up bag into her backpack, Alex was relieved that at least she had finished packing the necessities last night. Otherwise, she would have really been in trouble. Zipping up her last duffel and sprinting out of the room, she made it down the stairs and glanced at the clock again. _7:36 A.M. _Her 9 minutes it had taken her to get ready beat her last record of 12 minutes. She breathed a sigh of relief as she headed to the kitchen and unpeeled an overly ripe banana, not having another option for breakfast. It was either that, or extremely stale Lucky Charms with past-the-expiration date milk.

She groaned and made a mental note to remind her dad to go grocery shopping while he was away. He would probably forget all about eating if it weren't for Alex, and live at the office. Most nights, she had dinner at the Gray's, or made dinner for herself in front of the TV. She had gotten especially good at making Mac'n'cheese and pasta salad. She considered waking up her dad to say goodbye before she had to leave for Camp Rock, but she figured that this would take more effort than it was worth. Her dad wasn't the emotional, sentimental type, and although he would be sad she was leaving, neither Alex nor her father were any good at goodbyes. In fact, Alex avoided goodbyes at all costs. The more the reason to skip over this one, so she could save herself for the one at the end of the summer. It was better this way. Besides, she didn't really want to disturb her dad's sleep. It wasn't like he'd been getting much lately. She opened the fridge and made sure it was stocked full with TV dinners, which her father would probably live off of this summer. She hurriedly grabbed a blank envelope from the kitchen counter and a pen and scrawled a quick note on the back.

_Dad,  
I'm off to Mitchie's, and you know I'll be gone until the end of the August for Camp Rock, right?  
There's TV dinners in the fridge, and we need milk. Don't forget to EAT while I'm away. Don't spend all your time at the office, and if mom calls tell her I say hi and remind her where I am. She should already know, but just in case. I love you, and I'll be back before you know it. Have a nice summer, and don't worry about me!_

_Love, Alex  
P.S. I might not get reception on my cell at camp, but I'll call you from a payphone if I get a chance._

Alex nodded, satisfied. That was all the goodbye that she and her father could handle, and needed. As for her mom...well, her mom would be furious if Alex left without calling or saying goodbye. But the fact was, if she never called, Alex's mom would probably never even realize her own daughter had been away the whole summer. And there was no use in worrying her_–_she was the worrying type. No, Alex's mom was better off thinking that Alex was staying at her dad's house the whole summer. After all, she trusted her ex-husband's abilities as a father. He may have not been the most talkative and involved parent in the world, but he and Alex got along well.

Alex's mother, on the other hand, was young and spontaneous. She hadn't been ready to be a mother when she gave birth to Alex, and she wasn't ready to be a wife either. She needed time to finish her life, she had said, and she trusted Alex's father to take care of Alex. Alex used to smile at the romantic story of their meeting and falling in love, but now she almost scoffed at it. They were so different_–_her mother wild and always young at heart, her father careful and sensible. Like in the popular saying, opposites _did _attract...they just couldn't seem to stay together. So Alex's mother had left Alex with her ex-husband, and had moved to New York City, ready to start a new life. Alex had grown used to it long ago, and although the divorce still stung fresh in her memory, she knew that it would have happened eventually. The fact was, Alex hated that she saw so much of her mother in herself. It was part of her, that was true, and she loved her mom--but it scared Alex to no end that she might turn out like her and never be able to commit to a serious relationship.

Alex stopped thinking long enough to realize she was late and needed to get going. She looked back at the envelope in her hand and debated on taping the note to the refrigerator, but settled on the newspaper instead. Her father was certain to read the newspaper, even if he didn't eat anything for breakfast. She took one last around the house, knowing she wouldn't really miss the place this summer. It wasn't really a home to her. It was more of...a stopover. Just somewhere she settled, a connection on a flight to some unknown destination. She couldn't wait to be back at Camp Rock.

* * *

"NATE!" Shane yelled, frantically running around the house. "Where are my socks!?"

Nate chuckled and watched as Shane grew red in the face, flinging clothing out of his dresser in all directions.

"Chill, Shane." he said, grabbing his brother by the shoulder, "You packed them last night, remember? I reminded you so you wouldn't spend the entire summer wearing the same pair of socks--or MY socks, at that."

"Oh," Shane breathed, relaxing. "I _hate_ packing."

Nate laughed in agreement and stood up from his bed, running a hand through his dark curls in an attempt to flatten them a bit. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and yawned, heading to the bathroom across the hall. He let his mind wander as he brushed his teeth, seating himself casually on the bathroom counter, dangerously close to sliding into the sink.

In all truth, Nate was coming to regret signing up for Camp Rock for the summer. Of course, it held good memories, and he knew he would have a good time—he would be with people he loved, creating music. He wasn't worried about that. But there was another part of him that wished he had absolutely nothing planned for this summer, wished that his summer stretched along ahead of him in an endless string of days.

Nate was a shameless planner. He liked structure and order. Ever since he was young, he liked to know exactly when things were happening and what he would be doing for the rest of his life. Maybe that was why Alex had always gotten along so well. While he lived by schedules and rules, she liked to say that she lived for today. Nate used to laugh at her when they were kids and she told him that, proudly sticking out her chin and daring him to defy her—but it was true.

Sometimes Nate wished more than anything that he could be like Alex. And for once, he didn't want to know what the future held for him. For once, he wanted to focus on this summer and this summer alone. And yet, here he had the entire next two and a half months laid out for him in a strict camp schedule. And after that...who knew how busy his schedule might get? He slid off the counter and spat out his toothpaste as Jason poked his head in the door.

"Ready?" Jason asked, practically bouncing with excitement. He had probably been up since the crack of dawn, unable to sleep for thinking about Camp Rock.

"Almost," Nate replied, having to grin at his brother's childlike joy. He didn't know where his brother got that kind of enthusiasm—especially this early in the morning.

He finished up in the bathroom and raced down the stairs, almost crashing into his brothers in the entrance hallway. Shane had been practically falling asleep standing up, and he jolted awake as Nate screeched to an abrupt stop at the foot of the stairs. He mumbled something that sounded like, "If I give you my autograph, will you stop trying to kiss me?" and promptly closed his eyes again, causing Nate and Jason to burst into laughter. Frankie, on the other hand, simply put his hands on his hips and turned his attention to Nate.

"Remind me again why you have to leave for the whole _summer_," Frankie whined, tugging on Nate's sleeve while pouting.

Nate bent down and squatted on the floor so that he was eye-to-eye with an upset looking Frankie. "C'mon Frankster, we'll be back before you know it."

Frankie looked down at his feet, upset that all three of his big brothers were leaving for camp without him. "But it's so _boring_ around here without you guys! Can't I come too?"

Nate opened his mouth to respond, but Frankie suddenly perked up and jumped in excitement. "ALLIE!" he cried, leaping away from Nate and running at Alex, who had just entered through the front door looking out of breath.

"Way to ruin the brotherly moment, Als," Nate grumbled jokingly, prompting an eye-roll from Alex. He watched as Alex knelt down and caught Frankie in a giant hug, lifting him off his feet and spinning him in a circle before returning him to the ground. It was one of the things he loved most about Alex--she was practically part of the family. He knew her better than anyone, and vice versa. Unfortunately, this meant that they argued like brother and sister as well.

"Hey Frank the Tank," Alex grinned, ruffling Frankie's hair fondly. "How you been?"

Frankie beamed and replied, "Good," before shooting off a hundred miles-a-minute into another topic. "Hey, Allie, you aren't going to that dumb camp with Nate and Shane and Jason, are you? Then me and you can play together this summer, at the park, and go to the ice cream store, and look at the bunnies at the pet shop, and play videogames, and eat popsicles, and.." he rambled on eagerly, his eyes bright and his hand clasped in Alex's.

"Aw, man," Alex said, "That sounds like so much fun, Frankie, but I think we're gonna have to save that for next time, is that okay?"

Frankie frowned and looked up at Alex in confusion. "Why?"

"Because unfortunately," Alex said, making a face, "I happen to be going to that 'dumb camp' with your crazy brothers over here. But trust me, Frankster, you're going to have so much more fun here at home, I promise. All we do at this camp is read and do math problems and..." she trailed off, searching her mind for more things Frankie hated. What else, what else?

"...and watch scary movies that make you pee your pants, and eat broccoli...and...read..." Alex looked at Nate hopefully, who was silently cracking up in the corner.

"Whoa, there." Frankie said, putting his hands up, "Enough said. I already hated the camp when you said you do math problems. Count me out!"

Alex breathed a sigh of relief and nodded. "See? You'll have so much more fun here. And you can come see us for Final Jam, okay?"

"Final Jam?" Frankie asked, scrunching up his face. "What's that?"

For a second, Alex swore she was looking at Nate when he was a kid, his face rumpled up in concentration and his voice turned up in a question. She almost laughed, but then realized Frankie was waiting for an answer.

"Uhh..." Alex started, already seeing Nate starting to shake in laughter again out of the corner of her eye, "It's...a math competition! And we calculate...trigonomic ratios, and..."

"Say no more!" said Frankie, making another face. Alex giggled and Nate practically collapsed, tears streaming out of his eyes. Frankie looked confusedly at his brother, and then shook his head, not even wanting to know.

"Okay then, I'll see you, right Allie?" he looked up hopefully at Alex, and she nodded reassuringly.

"Before you know it!" she said, and she grabbed Frankie in another hug. "Have fun this summer, kiddo."

Frankie grinned and said, "Yeah, you too! If that's even _possible_ at that camp...Oh, and Nate?" he asked, looking to his brother, who had finally stopped laughing.

Nate raised his eyebrows and looked at him. "Yeah, Frankster?"

"Don't try anything with Alex while you're at this camp, okay?" he said sternly, before hugging each of his brothers quickly and running back off into the house.

"Wha...what?" Nate asked, dumbfounded, but Jason and Shane (who had awoken only a few seconds earlier) were already snorting in laughter.

"Aw, Frankie's so in love with you, Als," Shane stopped snorting long enough to say, grinning evilly at Alex.

"Shut up, Shane." Alex laughed, slapping him in the shoulder. "He's your little brother! Not to mention, he's like...eight years younger than me."

"You can't crush his dreams just because of an age difference!" Shane cried, trying not to laugh. "But seriously, he practically pummeled Nate when he said that you looked cute the last time you came over."

Alex started to laugh, then realized what Shane had said. "Wait, Nate said what?"

"Oops," Shane grinned, looking deviously at Nate. Nate punched his brother in the stomach and Shane pretended to double over in pain.

"I mentioned after you left that you were looking pretty cute," Nate explained, as if it were no big deal, "And Frankie just went ballistic and tried to beat me up!"

Alex laughed, but it felt like a million butterflies had somehow been released in her stomach. _Just your friend, just your friend_,she thought over and over to herself. _Oh, God_. This was never going to work.

"Come on, you jerk," Alex said as she grabbed Shane by the arm and yanked him into a standing position, "Help me get my bags from next door, okay?"

She had to get away from Nate for a second, just until the butterflies were gone. _Ugh!_ Could she keep herself together for just _one minute_? Alex released a sigh as she stepped outside, Shane still laughing as he followed her down the lawn. This was going to be a _long_ car ride to Camp Rock.

* * *

**A/N: **So? :) Any thoughts, feedback? Hope you liked it. I tried to make it a little more light-hearted, with more dialogue. The next chapter will be about the long car ride (a multiple hour-long car ride with Nate!?) and finally, their arrival at Camp Rock! YAY! :D **PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!** They make me smile, every single one.

Also, special thanks to--**_williamswheelbarrel, evershort, RAWRImAMonster, Fairy, Alyssa4Music4Life_, & **_**ma.531419** _for reviewing multiple times already! Seriously, your reviews keep me going and just brighten my day! If it's okay with you, I might even be asking a few of you for advice later on if I get stuck, since you guys have been reading along as I write! :) You're all unbelievably thoughtful and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

And let's not forget--_**xXthatswhatyougetXx, MrsKevinJonasx, Kazoodle & IxSnowAngelxI** _for your sweet and generous compliments. I love you!

I've been trying to get back to all of you who have reviewed, but if I haven't, I'm so sorry! I appreciate it all the same, I'm just a disorganized loser. :P


	5. Like the Good Old Days

**Everything We've Known  
**_Chapter 5 – Like the Good Old Days  
_

"Mitchie!" Alex cried, throwing her arms around her friend. "Thank God!"

Mitchie laughed and put her suitcase down to hug her. "Jeez Alex, let me get out the door first, will you? What's with the sudden onslaught of love?"

Alex grinned and started to drag Mitchie's suitcase down the steps towards Jason's beat-up minivan. "To be totally honest Mitch, I'm just so glad that I don't have to face these next few torturous hours in the car on my own."

Mitchie let out a relieved laugh. "I should have known that it wasn't just because I'm your best friend and you love seeing me, even at 8 in the morning."

Alex snorted. "Sure, Mitch, that's _totally _what I meant to say."

Mitchie slapped Alex in the arm as Nate came jogging out of the car. "Ladies, ladies, violence is not the answer!" he cried, shooting them a dorky peace sign. The girls shot each other looks before doubling over in laughter. Nate grinned and took the opportunity to swipe the suitcase from Alex, making his way down the lawn.

"Nate, you should be thanking me!" Mitchie called, following after him, "I was hitting Alex in your defense, because she said I was saving her from the next few torturous hours with you!"

Alex pretended to be offended, dropping her jaw in mock-shock. "Very funny, Mitchie. I would never say such a thing!"

Nate laughed and said, "Well, in that case, thanks Mitch, how sweet of you. And I'm not really torturous, am I, Allie?" He widened his eyes innocently and pouted at Alex. She smirked and raised her eyebrows as if to say, "Really, Gray? You can do better than that."

Nate just grinned and came closer to her, pouting even more. "C'mon Russo, admit it. You're POWERLESS to the puppy dog face!" Alex giggled and shoved his face out of her sight, ignoring him. She knew he couldn't stand it when he was being ignored. But this time, instead of throwing a fit, he deviously switched his attention to Mitchie.

"Trust me, Mitchie," he said, "You don't want to be stuck in a car with Alex, either. You missed quite a bit of entertainment back at my house this morning."

Alex turned towards Nate and raised her eyebrows questioningly, forgetting that she was supposed to be ignoring him. "And what kind of entertainment might that be, Mr. Gray?"

"Oh, I don't know," he shrugged casually, a small grin forming on his face, "Maybe your impressive lying skills, as so wonderfully demonstrated on Frankie?" Nate held back a laugh before continuing in a high-pitched voice that was meant to be Alex, "Uhm, uhh...it's called Camp Geek! And uhm, we calculate trigonomic ratios and have Mathlete competitions!"

Mitchie cracked up, mostly at Nate's impersonation of Alex, but Alex put a hand over her mouth to silence the giggles. She kicked Nate and bit back a laugh, not wanting to let him know that she found his attempt at being funny quite amusing. Instead, she dragged Mitchie forcibly towards the car with her mouth still over her hand.

"Mmf," Nate grunted, chuckling as he dropped the suitcase beside the trunk of the minivan. "Jeez, Mitch!" he called out, "What in the world did you _pack_ in this thing?"

Mitchie, who had finally stopped laughing, turned back at him and said innocently, "Oh you know, just like 15 pairs of shoes, the usual." Nate's jaw dropped, but Mitchie grinned to let him know she was kidding.

"Aw, who's powerless _now_?" Alex smirked, hoisting the suitcase effortlessly into the trunk of the car.

"Not fair!" Nate said, crossing his arms like a little kid. "You didn't have to carry it _all_ the way over here!"

"That's because," Alex smiled, surprising Nate as she reached up and hugged him, "You're such a gentleman, and did it by yourself!"

Nate rolled his eyes and hugged her back. "Okay, okay, you're welcome."

Alex snuggled a little deeper into his arms, breathing in his familiar scent--a mixture of fresh laundry, his Polo Black cologne, and the smell of summer. For a second there, it had seemed like everything was going back to normal. As in, she was the joking, playful self she had always been, completely unaware of whatever attraction she might have for Nate. Until his arms had wrapped around her, hugging her back. Ugh! Okay, all she had to do was survive five, eensy weensy, short little hours in a car with him. That was it, simple! She would just...sleep, or something. Yeah, that was the solution. She pulled away sharply, causing Nate to look confusedly down at her.

Suddenly, Shane stepped out of the minivan and Mitchie leaped up, running towards the car and pushing past Shane to get into the car. "Shotgun!" Mitchie crowed, breaking the momentary silence that had fallen over them. Alex giggled at the shocked look at Shane's face, who had stepped out only to ask what was taking them so long.

"HEY!" Shane yelled, banging on the window of the passenger seat, but Mitchie just stuck her tongue out at him, leaving him to climb into the backseat.

Alex laughed, thanking Shane silently for the interruption. She ran towards the car, jumping in besides Shane, who was still grumbling to himself and pestering Mitchie.

"Aw Shane, it's not _all_ bad! You get to sit next to me!" she grinned at him, finally getting Shane to crack a smile.

"I'd rather have leg room," he teased, and Alex raised her brows and grinned evilly as she yawned and stretched across the entire back seat so that her legs were completely sprawled over his.

"Oops," Alex giggled, "So much for leg room, huh?"

Nate hopped in and laughed at his brother and best friend, taking up all of the space. "Hey, make some room for me!" he whined, jumping in and shoving Alex all the way to the left side of the car, so that she was practically squashed up against the window, and almost suffocating Shane.

"Much better," Nate sighed, sliding into the back and spreading out, pretending not to hear Alex and Shane's complaints.

Mitchie giggled from the front seat, patting Jason on the shoulder. "Aren't you so glad we're safe up here?" she joked, and Jason laughed genuinely.

"Okay kiddies, welcome aboard the Jason-Coaster, the non-stop rollercoaster ride to CAMP ROCK! Please buckle up your seatbelts, sit back, and enjoy the ride."

Alex, Nate, Shane, and Mitchie all muffled their giggles, collapsing in heaps of laughter at Jason's lame attempt at a joke. Oh yeah, it was going to be a rollercoaster ride for sure.

* * *

Nate blinked and yawned as he awoke, looking around confusedly for a moment before realizing where he was. He rubbed at his eyes and looked to his left, where Alex lay breathing peacefully, in a deep sleep. She and Nate had that in common--ever since they were little, they had always been lulled to sleep by long car rides. When both of them refused to go to bed, their parents used to make them get in the car and they'd drive circles around the neighborhood until both of them were fast asleep, their mouths parted slightly and their hands clasped together. And now, though it had been years since then, they were still exactly the same. Both of them had practically passed out as soon as Jason pulled out of Mitchie's driveway and headed towards the highway.

The car was blissfully silent, Jason quietly concentrating on the road, Mitchie gazing out the window listening to her iPod, and Shane and Alex sound asleep. He almost wished they would never have to get out of this car, never need to get out of this position. Nate felt a tiny smile slide onto his face as he looked over at Alex again. She was curled up against Shane, her head rested comfortably on Shane's shoulder and her body perpendicular to Nate's. She had been shoving Shane closer and closer towards the window in her sleep, until Shane's face was pressed uncomfortably up against the glass. Fortunately, he was completely unconscious and didn't seem to mind. Her legs, which had previously been curled up, had stretched out and were now lying halfway across Nate's lap.

He laughed silently--Alex took over the entire car even in her sleep. He carefully lifted her legs, trying not to wake her as he moved positions in order to get more comfortable. As he did so, Alex stirred, her head sinking deeper onto Shane's shoulder. Nate held his breath, trying not to make a noise. Slowly, her legs slid off Nate's lap and down to the ground, shifting uncomfortably. Nate bit his lip and waited until he was sure that she wasn't going to move again, and then cautiously scooted over a little to the right to give her more room. All of a sudden, she stirred once more, this time her head rising completely off of Shane's shoulder in her sleep. Her legs curled up onto the seat again, but this time, twisted around and landed on Shane's lap. She mumbled something incoherent and Nate leaned closer, wondering if she was sleep-talking. When he edged just a little nearer to her, her head found his shoulder and settled there, curling up snugly to his body. '_So much for finding a comfortable position_,' Nate chuckled to himself, before settling against the window and letting Alex rest all of her weight on him.

It was just like the old days, driving around in the car for hours just to get them to go to sleep. The constant whir of the cars tires and the steady, forward motion rocked him back and forth, back and forth. Nate closed his eyes and let the drowsiness wash over him, falling asleep with the smallest of smiles on his lips.

* * *

"WE'RE HERE!" Mitchie squealed, looking over at Jason with eager eyes.

"Ouch, Mitchie!" Jason joked, grabbing at his ears. "I think you may have left me deaf."

"You better get used to it, Mr. Almost-a-Popstar, because the screaming fangirls are going to be _so_ much worse." she giggled, jumping out of the car and running around to the backseat entrance.

"_ALEX, NATE, SHANE!_" she screamed, her voice reverberating off the walls of the minivan and jolting all three of them awake, Alex's head flying off of Nate's shoulder.

Mitchie opened her mouth to let out another shriek, but Alex cried, "We're up, Mitchie, we're up!"

"Good," Mitchie said, satisfied. "Because we're here!" She stepped away from the car, looking around her. She couldn't believe she was back at Camp Rock. They were going to have _so_ much fun this summer. God, she couldn't wait to get settled in the cabins, and then go for a swim...and then have dinner in the mess hall, and go to rehearsal, and then out for a canoe ride, and to the campfires, where she would make s'mores, and...

Mitchie groaned as she turned back towards the car, expecting to see her friends up and ready--but seeing something different. Jason laughed as he got out of the driver's seat and stepped to the back, opening the door to reveal Alex, Nate, and Shane's sleeping bodies, all in the exact same position as they were just seconds before.

"At least some things _never_ change," Jason grinned, putting his arm around Mitchie.

Mitchie had to laugh at the three of them, their mouths hanging open and their hair all messed up from the car ride over. "I guess you're right," she said, "They never will."

* * *

**A/N: **YAY! I love, love, love updating this story. And you know what I love even _MORE!? _Reading your lovely reviews. I love you all to death. Please let me know what you think!

Also--**_xScribbles819_** (among a lot more of you!) has been giving me some fantastic advice, and I really appreciate it. She's kindly pointed out that Alex is acting a little OOC--and I completely agree with this! I apologize for not realizing sooner! So, instead of changing her entirely back to what Alex really acts like in WOWP, I'll just say that she's a little older now and has kind of matured. She won't lose all of her sarcasm and wittiness--she'll just tone it down a little :P. How does that sound?

And last but not least--if any of you are SMITCHIE fans out there (or even if you're not!), please check out my other fanfic, _**Oh, How the Tables Have Turned**_ and tell me what you think of it! I'm super excited to be starting my second fanfic already and would love to know what you think! I'm sorry to say that because I'm working on two fanfics now, the updates for this story might be a LITTLE less often. But not to fret, my friends, I promise to update as often as possible. So please check that out on the days that I don't update this! _Lovelovelove, Cami_


	6. Perfect Sense

**Everything We've Known  
**_Chapter 6 – Perfect Sense  
_

"Race you to the cabins!" Shane yelled, dropping his suitcases on the ground.

Jason shook his head at his brother, laughing good-naturedly. They had practically had to throw him out of the car to wake him up, and here he was only seconds later, challenging everyone to a race.

Alex, who had been tickled awake by Mitchie, now stepped out of the car and grinned at Shane slyly. It had been years since her days of racing Shane to the park, but she was still never one to back down from a contest. Her sleepy eyes brightened and then sparkled mischievously. "Oh, you're on, Gray. But when you lose, remember that you're the one who suggested it."

"Not a chance," Shane shot back, flashing his famous toothy grin. They looked at each other, and as if communicating with telepathy, smirked and shot off in a dead sprint at the exact same time.

"YOU GUYS!" Mitchie yelled desperately after them, "What about your suitcases!?!" But they were both out of sight by now, dashing over the hill which would lead them to the cabins.

Jason groaned. "They did that on purpose, so we would have to carry their stuff for them!" He headed around to the trunk of the car to finish unloading the suitcases.

"So Mitchie," Nate said as soon as Jason left, grinning craftily at her, "Wanna race?"

Mitchie giggled, looking around for Jason, who was busy with the bags. She bit her lip as if thinking, and then smiled. "Bring it on."

The two of them got into running position and tore off, Mitchie lagging behind Nate as they ran off the same direction as Shane and Alex.

"Oomph," Jason grumbled, yanking the largest suitcase out of the trunk and dragging it around the car. He turned the corner and dumped it on the ground, looking around confusedly. Where were Mitchie and Nate? He scratched at his head in puzzlement, turning to look up the hill. There, in the distance, two diminishing figures chased each other to the top.

"HEY!!!" Jason yelled, "NOT FAIR!!!"

* * *

"Fine, fine, it's a tie!" Alex shrieked, squirming and gasping for breath as Shane tackled her and tickled her into admitting partial defeat.

"Technically, I won, because you cheated!" Shane grinned, finally releasing Alex from his grip.

"Who, me?" Alex said innocently, looking around. Shane reached out for her again, his fingers waving in the air as if to begin tickling her again. Alex jumped back from his hands, laughing and yelping, "Okay, I cheated, I cheated! Please don't tickle me!"

Shane smiled and lowered his hands, and Alex collapsed in an exhausted heap on the grass. Shane plopped himself down next to her, snickering. "Okay," he said, "Now that I've got you all worn out from running and away from everybody else—you have to answer something for me."

Alex sat up and frowned at Shane, who was looking rather solemn. "Should I be scared?" she asked, half-jokingly and half-seriously.

Shane smiled sneakily. "Of course not!" he said, "Unless there IS something going on between you and Nate."

"Wh-what?" Alex stammered before she could stop herself, her face reddening in surprise.

"I knew it!" Shane crowed, pumping a fist up in the air. "You're so easy to read, Russo."

"What are you talking about?" Alex cried, her face reddening even further. "I never said there was anything going on!"

"Ah, but your face says it all," Shane teased, leaning back on his arms and laughing at Alex's expression.

Alex opened her mouth to protest, but then stopped. What was the use—Shane would have found out sooner or later anyways. It was true, she was far too easy to read, and Shane knew her too well. But apparently, she wasn't easy enough for Nate to read, because he didn't seem to notice at all.

"So how long have you liked him?" he asked, his tone getting serious again.

Alex sighed, hesitating. She hadn't told anyone about liking Nate—in fact, she'd been too scared to even admit it to herself for the longest time. "I don't know," she whispered, pulling at a few blades of grass. "I didn't even notice at first, and I kept telling myself it was nothing. But after a while, it was just…kind of hard to ignore it."

Shane nodded understandingly, and Alex felt a huge load off her chest. He was a huge joker, but he could be sweet and caring when you really needed him. "Are you going to tell him?" he asked, and Alex bit her lip. She looked down at her hands, as if searching for the answer there.

"I-I just can't," she said lamely, pulling at the grass again. "He's my _best friend_, Shane. I can't just tell my best friend that I'm…in _love_ with him." She yanked out a chunk of grass and dirt aggressively, and Shane chuckled softly and removed her hands carefully from the grass.

"Don't take your anger out on the plants," he joked, and Alex rolled her eyes, a tiny grin escaping from her lips.

"Made you smile!" Shane cried, and Alex punched him on the shoulder. He rolled over and laughed, and then his face smoothed itself back out into a composed expression as he saw the pain in Alex's eyes.

"Hey—Alex," he said, waiting for her to look up at him, "I think it makes perfect sense." There was a glint of something in Alex's eyes for a second before her face fell again.

"Nate can be a goof sometimes, and I don't know if he thinks of you in the same way." Alex looked down at her feet at this, and Shane hurried to continue. "But I _do_ know that he would never, ever do anything to hurt you intentionally, Alex. And I think you need to take that chance by telling him, because otherwise you'll never know."

Alex sighed frustratedly and yelled, "But that's just it, Shane! I'd rather _not_ know if the answer isn't what I want to hear. And you're all leaving at the end of the summer—even if he _does_ think of me like that, what's the point?"

Shane looked at Alex almost sternly. "Alex, if you didn't know what the point was, you wouldn't even be worried about this, you know that, right?"

Alex looked down, avoiding eye contact again. She couldn't help it—she just couldn't look people in the eye when she was feeling vulnerable. "Since when did you start making sense, Shane?" she asked, laughing slightly.

He grinned, glad that Alex was joking again. He wasn't used to seeing the normally witty and upbeat girl so down. "Since always!" he retorted, "And you better start cheering up, or I'll have to tickle you again!"

Alex finally looked up again and laughed, twisting away from his hands. "I'm all cheered up!" she cried, wriggling away from his grasp.

"Good," Shane said, smiling. "Now shall we walk to the cabins, madame?"

Alex snorted, making a face at Shane. "We shall, good sir." She laughed as she grumbled, "I can't believe of all people, I told YOU that I like Nate."

Shane pretended to be offended, but his eyes softened as he said, "Seriously though, I can't think of anyone better for Nate. He just can't see it yet."

Alex attempted a weak half-smile, knowing that it could never be as simple as that. "Thanks, Shane."

Shane nodded, grinning loosely at her. "Anyday. Just promise me you'll think about telling him?"

Alex took a deep breath and winced, not wanting to even talk about it. "Okay," she mumbled, "I'll think about it--I promise."

* * *

**A/N: **Another chapter! It's kind of a filler, but it's still important, especially because now Shane knows! And I also wanted to show you how comfortable Alex is with Shane, and how close everyone is. I know it kind of seems like they were flirting, but that's just them being silly with each other :). Sorry there wasn't any Nalex in this chapter! Also--a few of you have been mentioning that Nate seems to be falling for Alex! And I agree, it does seem that way. But I'm very, very sorry to announce that things are going to start getting a lot trickier very soon. I have to throw in a twist, otherwise this is going to be like all the other Nalex fanfics out there, and I want mine to be different.

I really hope you all don't hate me for that twist, which is coming soon! :( Eep! Haha. Please, please, _please_ review to let me know what you thought of this chapter! Just press that button and type on those keys. You all, my readers, are amazingly unbelievably fantastically stupendously sugary sweet. **I love you!** _xoxo, Cami_

**P.S. **I almost forgot! I have to apologize times a million for what I'm about to say, but--I am going on a ski trip next week with my family...AHH! Unfortunately, this may mean no computer access for a whole week. :O :( :X But I promise to bring my trusty notebook and start shelling out the chapters old-school style while I'm there, and hopefully I'll have TONS to update on as SOON as I get back. Deal? **SORRY! DON'T HATE ME! I LOVE YOU!**


	7. Lucky

**Everything We've Known  
**_Chapter 7 - Lucky_

Alex wandered down to the dock, her head spinning. She'd wanted to get away and avoid everyone for a bit, but now with nobody to distract her, all she could think about was what Shane had told her. His voice played like a broken record in her head, _"Just promise me you'll think about telling him?"_. She sighed heavily and sat down at the edge of the water, kicking off her shoes and dangling her toes into the lake. Had it really been four whole years since she'd last sat on this dock? It felt like just yesterday. Why couldn't things be as simple as they were back then? Or at least, things seemed simple, looking back in time. She remembered this dock had always been "her place". There were so many memories here, and this was her favorite place on the campgrounds. It was here where she wrote her first song, with her dad's beat-up acoustic guitar. She'd been playing for a few years, and she'd signed up to sing a cheesy pop song at Final Jam that summer. She was brave about most things--almost to the point of foolishness--but she'd been unbelievably nervous to perform. On the outside, she'd looked confident, but she was terrified of getting up on that stage. All it had taken was a single nasty comment from the meanest girl at camp, Tess Tyler, and Alex had snapped. She ran from the rehearsal hall with tears in her eyes and the guitar in her hands. She sprinted to the dock as the sun began to fall and cheers went up in the auditorium, which meant the start of Final Jam.

**- Flashback (Summer 2005) -**

Tears streamed from Alex's eyes as she flew down the dock, her flip-flops discarded behind her and her bare feet thumping on the wooden planks. She collapsed at the end of the dock, her breath coming out in huge gasps and racking sobs. For the first time in her life, Alex thought she might be feeling sorry for herself. She was a mess. Since when did she care what that pathetic excuse of a human being Tess Tyler had to say? Alex knew it was more than just that. That had simply been the final straw to push her past her breaking point. She tried so hard, for herself, for everyone, to be strong. And after all of that, it was that showy, obnoxious, full-of-it _Tess Tyler_ to break her? Nothing was going right anymore, and she was tired of pretending to be okay. She was so sick of trying to be something that she wasn't. With tears still running slowly down her cheeks, she picked up her dad's guitar and started to strum the first chords of the song she had practiced for Final Jam. But it felt wrong and fake, like everything else lately, to be playing somebody else's notes. It wasn't her music, and it wasn't her _in_ the music. And so as she played, the chords changed beneath her fingertips, and the music slowed until it was something entirely different. _Her_. Words leaped from her throat as if they had been waiting for her to do this all along.

_Would you believe me if I said  
yesterday I stood so strong,  
Would you believe me if I said  
that today turned out so wrong?_

_So all I could do was run  
from facing all my fears,  
left the audience behind  
because I had to hide my tears._

_Ooh, ooh, mmm  
It's hard to be so strong  
And I've been acting for so long.  
_

_All my life I put up walls  
trying to push people away,  
when all I really want  
is for you to break them down someday._

_Would anyone notice if I left?  
Please chase after me,  
someone break down these walls  
so I can finally see._

_I can wait until  
the right person comes around,  
but you have to believe  
that I wanna be found._

_Yeah, I wanna be found,  
please chase after me,  
someone break down these walls  
so I can finally see._

_Would anyone notice if I left?  
Would you notice if I left?_

_'Cause I'm too scared to be center stage  
and I blend with the background,  
but you have to believe,  
that I wanna be found._

_All my life I put up walls  
trying to push people away,  
when all I really want  
is for you to break them down someday._

_Ooh, ooh, mmm,  
It's hard to be so strong,  
I've been acting for so long.  
_

_Would anyone notice if I left?  
Would you notice if I left?  
Please, please...chase after me._

Alex set the guitar down slowly and looked out on to the water. It was so peaceful here, so quiet. Everything just felt so right. She only wished that she had the courage to say the things she had just sung to somebody. Anybody.

"I noticed," a voice said, and Alex spun around. Nate peered out from behind a tree, a tiny half-smile on his face as he stood up and approached her.

"That you left, I mean." he said simply, and Alex just stared, gaping at him. He seemed to realize that Alex needed to hear more, so he slid down on the dock beside her and looked straight out towards the water.

"I always know when you've left, or when you're missing," he continued, "Because I'm always looking for you." The words slipped easily from his mouth now, and Alex's hands shook unsteadily.

"Even when you're right next to me, I have to look up every so often to make sure that you're still there, because when you're not, I don't know what to do with myself. I'll have this constant nagging feeling that I've forgotten something, or that I'm missing something crucial, like an arm or a foot."

Alex looked down at her hands, because she couldn't look at him. But she still wanted, needed to hear more.

"Every time someone tells a funny joke or story, the first thing I think to do is look and see if you're laughing. I do it without thinking, I can't even help it. And all the time, I find myself saying to other people, 'Hey, remember when we did so and so?', until I remember that you're the one I did that with. And you're the only one who remembers that kind of thing, anyway." He looked up at Alex, who was still staring down at her hands. He was speaking so openly, unafraid, and Alex just couldn't look at him.

"So yeah, Allie, I always notice when you leave." he said slowly, lowering his head to meet her eyes.

Alex looked up carefully, scared to admit to herself that this was real. And then suddenly, she was sobbing in his arms, shaking uncontrollably because that was just what she had needed to hear all of her life. He was all she had needed all of her life. And it felt so good to know that someone needed her too.

For the next hour, she let herself forget about being strong, forget about acting and putting up walls. She let herself cry in Nate's arms, and let him hum to her quietly under his breath. He rocked her back and forth until her tears were gone, and although her tear ducts were empty, she felt full inside. And not once did he ask her questions, because all he needed to know was that she was okay. For that moment, Alex had everything she had ever needed.

'_I'm so lucky,_' she thought to herself, '_Lucky, lucky, lucky._'

**- End Flashback -**

Alex looked out to the water the same way she had done four years ago, in this exact spot. That was what she needed now. She needed someone to need her, because Nate didn't anymore. Not like he used to. She needed to feel wanted, useful, important, and loved. When had Nate stopped depending on her?

"Allie?" a voice cut through her thoughts, and there he was. Just like four years ago, just like that day.

Okay, so he didn't depend on her anymore. And he probably didn't feel the same way about her that she did about him. But he was still her best friend, and that wasn't going to change. She could still hold on to that. He still noticed when she left, and he would still chase after her.

'_I'm so lucky,_' she thought to herself, just as she had years before, '_Lucky, lucky, lucky._'

* * *

**A/N: **HEY! I'm so, so happy to be updating again--thank you all for understanding about the time it took to get this chapter up! I'm going to be doing some more Nalex interaction for the next chapter, and then the twist some time after that. I know things are moving so slow, and I'm sorry. I feel like this will be a seriously long story, as in a TON of chapters. I just hope you still like the story regardless! I actually managed to get hold of a computer on my ski trip, and it took a while but I finally finished this! **PLEASE REVIEW**, so I know what you think. I can't stress this enough--I love you all, and reviews make me ridiculously happy. I do love alerts and favorites as well (of course), but reviews are more personal and help me improve/get to know you. **THANK YOU** to those of you who did review and gave up some of your time to read my story and give feedback, you've all been amazing.

Also--the song is an original! I know it's hard to imagine how it goes without music, but you can just sing it to your own tune if you want to get an idea. I actually wrote it over vacation, and I'd love to know what you think about it. I'm not the best songwriter, but it's a lot of fun anyways._ Love, love, love, _Cami


	8. Metamorphosis

**A/N: **First off--thank you to...YOU. For reading. I love you. I hope you like this chapter! You know what would make me REALLY happy? If all of those of you who read this (alert, favorite, or just come across it) would review and let me know what you think. If you do, you're a scoop of cookies and cream on a waffle cone, best ever. :)

Also, thanks so much for all of you who said you liked my song! I love songwriting, but I wasn't sure if I was any good. Your support means everything.  
I love **ma531419**, **williamswheelbarrel**, **zialicious**, **mrskevinjonasx**, **alyssa4music4life**,** fairy**,** xxheadinthestarsxx**,& **bluebubble112**, to name a few! Enjoy the chapter_–_longest yet!

* * *

**Everything We've Known  
**_Chapter 8 __– __Metamorphosis_

"Allie?" the voice called again, stepping out into the clearing.

"Déjà vu," Alex muttered, staring at Nate, the memory of his younger self that day blurring into the present-day Nate before her.

"I thought I would find you here!" he grinned, and Alex had to smile. It was true. If you didn't know where Alex was, go to the dock.

"It's nice to know I'm so predictable," she said as Nate sat down next to her and chuckled. The two of them stared at the lake for a while in silence. Alex turned to Nate and watched him, the way the corners of his lips turned up in contentment, and the edges of his eyelids crinkled as if he was laughing. He noticed her staring and turned to look at her, a tiny wrinkle of worry forming on his flawless face.

'_He's perfect,_' Alex thought, '_I want to be like him, I want to be the one for him. God, I wish it were that simple. He's so good, too good for me._'

"Nate?" Alex whispered, wanting to ask him so many things. She only wished she had the courage. She kicked at the water with her toes, sitting on her hands so she would stop fumbling nervously with them. He looked up at her uncertainly, and then smiled reassuringly, to show her he was listening.

'_Just say something_,' Alex pleaded with herself, '_Anything_.'

He watched her, not saying anything. He knew now to wait for her, whenever she was scared. She eventually opened up, and that was the way she had learned to trust Nate. It was true, she pushed people away all the time. It was just that Nate was the only one who didn't let her do that. He pushed back, and had somehow fought his way into her heart. And it felt so right to just give in, and let him stay a part of her. But she wanted more, so much more, and he didn't even see.

"Have you ever had, or known a secret you've wanted to tell someone so badly, but you just...can't?"

Alex forced herself to look at him. He continued to watch her carefully, as if trying to read her. Alex wanted so badly to look back into his eyes, but as usual, her face fell again. She was so scared of returning his glances. Maybe that was where her habit of not keeping eye contact when she felt vulnerable had developed. She was so sure that Nate could see right through her. Half of her was terrified that this might be true, and the other half wished that he really could, more than anything.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Nate nod, and he said, "From _someone_, yes. From you, no. I've never been able to keep secrets from you, no matter how I try."

Alex managed a small smile, but on the inside she was breaking. '_This is the part where you tell him_," Alex told herself, '_You have to._'

"I just..." she started, her voice cracking. And then she was shaking her head, closing her eyes. She couldn't, not yet.

"No, never mind," she whispered, "Just forget it."

The wrinkle in Nate's forehead deepened, but he slowly nodded all the same. He could wait, would wait until she was ready. Suddenly, he smiled, and looked up at Alex. "Do you remember, the time we tried to catch the butterflies at the park?"

Alex smiled weakly, still sitting on her hands. His voice echoed in her head, from years ago, "_And all the time, I find myself saying to other people, 'Hey, do you remember when we did so-and-so?', until I remember that you're the one I did that with. And you're the only one who remembers that kind of thing, anyway._"

"Yeah," she said, "I remember."

**- Flashback (Spring 1999) -**

"I've got you now!" Alex yelped, leaping at a brown speckled butterfly who had landed gracefully on the nearest tree. She lunged for it, cupping her hands on the tree, but by that the time the butterfly had flown away, and her hands cupped the empty air.

"NOT AGAIN!" Alex cried, frustratedly. She was determined to catch a butterfly today. Today was the day it was finally going to happen--and she'd brought Nate along to help her. They were so pretty. She wished that she could fly like them, around and around. And to think that they had once been caterpillars...would she ever grow up into a butterfly like them?

"What's that called again, Nate?" Alex asked, looking over to him, "When a caterpillar pops out of the cocoon and turns into a pretty butterfly? Metamemphis, metapillar...?"

"Metamorphosis!" Nate grinned, and Alex laughed.

"Yeah, that! One day, I'm going to do metamorphosis into a butterfly!" she cried, jumping into the air eagerly, looking around for another stray butterfly. "Help me catch one, Nate?"

Nate smiled and knelt down into the damp grass, flattening himself onto the ground. He put his finger to his lips to indicate to Alex to be silent, and then motioned for her to join him. Alex looked at him questioningly, but lay down obediently beside him, doing her best to keep quiet.

"Put your hands out in front of you," Nate whispered, as he spotted a butterfly soaring a few feet above them. Alex did so, looking up excitedly at the blue and white butterfly over her head. She would catch this one, she was sure!

"When do I jump up and grab it?" she asked in a whisper, her eyes locked on the insect.

"You don't!" Nate whispered back, "You wait."

"Wait?" Alex asked, confused. She wasn't the patient type. Her daddy used to call her his firecracker, sparkling determinedly in the dark. She was never still, always moving and on the go. She'd learned early on that hard work paid off. Why should she wait for the butterfly? But Nate was looking at her so earnestly that she couldn't help but listen. He wasn't like other kids, he knew things. He still had his childhood innocence, but he had an aged seriousness too, and was wise beyond his years. And she trusted him. While her daddy called her his firecracker, he called Nate his wise old professor, or his grandpa. She always giggled at this, but she knew that Nate was to be listened to. So she lay patiently in the grass, her hands itching to jump up and grab at the butterfly.

Suddenly, the butterfly began to descend, lowering itself toward the grass. Alex looked at it in wonderment, holding her breath. It flitted about, smelling the flowers in the grass, and danced around. Alex stared wide-eyed, and then without notice, it landed softly and gently on her fingertips, folding its wings.

"Nate! We did it!" Alex cried, keeping her voice still in a whisper so as not to scare the butterfly away. "Now where do we put it so we can keep it?"

Nate smiled at her and shook his head. "We can't keep it, Allie!"

Alex looked confusedly at him, turning her attention away from the butterfly, which was now tickling her thumb. "What do you mean? I have to keep it so I can watch it, and learn how it did metamorphosis so I can be a butterfly too!" she said stubbornly, looking at Nate for the answer.

Nate giggled, and then said softly, "You're already a butterfly, Allie. You're just like a butterfly. You're always flying just out of reach, dancing in the air. And when I try to leap up and catch you, you fly farther away. But if I sit in the grass and wait, then you might just land on my hands. So I do, and you always come, eventually."

Alex giggled softly, beaming at Nate. She was so glad he was her best friend. "So we let it go?" she whispered, and he nodded.

"Yeah. We let it go, and it will fly away, just like you might do one day, and I'll have to let you. But I'll know that you'll always come back."

The two of them turned to look at the butterfly on Alex's fingers, which was now unfolding it's wings again. It crawled up to Alex's wrist, and then touched off gracefully, soaring up into the air.

"Byebye butterfly," Nate whispered, "See you soon."

**- End Flashback -**

"You're still just like that butterfly, Allie." Nate grinned, "I finally learned my lesson. So I won't ask again, because then you'll fly away. But just know, that once you want to tell me whatever this secret is, I'll be right here in the grass, okay?" he smiled at her, and Alex's heart jumped as usual, forcing herself to nod. She would tell him, she decided. Eventually.

He seemed to sense that the conversation was over, and slowly a devious grin that Alex knew so well spread across his face.

"Wanna go swimming?" he asked, his eyes twinkling.

"Swimming?" Alex asked skeptically, surprised by the sudden change in topic, "Now?"

Nate grinned. "Well, why not?"

"Hmm..." Alex said, pretending to be in deep thought. "Maybe because neither of us have our swimsuits on?" she said sarcastically.

Nate's grin widened as he shrugged and said, "That's never stopped us before!"

Alex's eyes grew large as she murmured, "You wouldn't," knowing full well that he would.

"Try me," he whispered with a wink before grabbing her and lifting her up in one swift movement.

"Put me down, Nate!" Alex shrieked, kicking helplessly, succeeding only in amusing him. "Seriously, we have rehearsal after this!"

She reached around him and tried to pull herself off of him, but he simply laughed as he walked toward the water. "Nathaniel Jerry Gray," Alex growled warningly, still struggling. "I swear on it, if you throw me into the water..." she trailed off threateningly.

"Oh, we're using full names now, are we?" Nate teased, hoisting Alex onto his back so that he carried her piggyback style. "Well, Alexandra Margarita Russo, are you..._chicken_?"

Alex gasped. If there was one thing she could not stand, it was being called a chicken. "Take it back," she snarled, and Nate shook his head, laughing.

"Never," he grinned, and Alex raised her eyebrows.

"Well then..." she said, suddenly grabbing at his stomach and starting to tickle him, causing him to double over in laughter and loosen his grip on Alex. She quickly slipped away and grabbed his hand before he could act. She grinned and yanked at him before running towards the water, sprinting off the dock and pulling Nate with her.

She let out a whoop as they soared towards the water and landed with two giant splashes. Alex dove under, smiling underwater and surfaced laughing. She swept back her sopping hair from her eyes and looked around, treading water.

"Nate?" she called, but he was nowhere in sight. No doubt he was lurking underwater, waiting to scare her.

"C'mon, Nate!" she cried, trying to see into the deeper waters. "I'm not kidding, if you--"

She was interrupted as two arms wrapped around her waist from behind, causing her to shriek in shock before hitting her best friend in the head.

"I hate you," she muttered, and he laughed in response.

"Aw, you don't mean that!" he said, and she rolled her eyes. She crossed her arms huffily, but realized that it was rather uncomfortable, seeing as Nate's own arms were still wrapped snugly around her.

"Okay, okay," he said, "If you say you don't hate me, then I'll say you're not a chicken."

"Deal!" Alex said, and he grinned, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"So you're not a chicken." he admitted, "But you _are_ an idiot."

"What!?" Alex yelped, whacking him and trying to free herself from his grip.

"I mean, really. You wouldn't jump in when I suggested it, and almost killed me when I tried to throw you in, but as soon as I called you a chicken, you _jumped_ and dragged us both in!"

Alex grinned, realizing that it did sound a little funny. "So?" she said defiantly, "That doesn't make me an idiot!"

Nate raised his eyebrows and gave her a look, shaking his head in laughter. "Okay, fine. So then, Miss Non-chicken idiot," Nate grinned, "You feeling a little better?"

"Maybe if you would let go of me!" Alex joked, squirming in his arms. Okay, so she wasn't really complaining, and she didn't really mind at all. But he meant it as a friendly gesture, and she couldn't see it in the same way. She wriggled, but he held fast, keeping her from swimming away. She tugged at his arms unsuccessfully, and suddenly found that she had rotated her body around so that she was facing him and his hands were holding on to her around her back.

She looked up mid-laugh at him, not even fully realizing what she had done until her head shot up and his face was mere inches away from her own. Her breath hitched in her throat as their eyes locked, and the laugh slid off her face in surprise. He too loosened his grip on her slightly, but didn't move away. They stared at each other like that for what felt like hours, Alex holding her breath as the sun beat down on them. For the first time in a while, she really looked at him, straight in the eye. She _wanted_ him to see through her, like she had always thought he could. Her eyes roamed his face hungrily, and he stared back in a simple silence. His face was sprinkled with a few tiny freckles, and he was tanned and healthy-looking from the summer sun. His wet, unruly curls hung over his forehead and made him look younger again. She could still see that kid in him, the one who helped her catch butterflies and carried her when she skinned her knee. The one that raced her back home, the one who would come looking for her, the one that would stick up for her even if he knew she was wrong. And his eyes, warm chocolate brown and so honest. They were the same too, framed by dark, thick lashes. She was certain they knew all, saw all, except for maybe her. Yes, he was the same boy as he was years ago, when she had first met him in a sandbox. But she looked at him differently, and so_ she_ must have changed. It was all her fault.

Would it be so wrong of her to simply lean forward and kiss him, right then? It would be so easy. His lips were so close, and his warm breath swept across her face every so often.

'_Yes,_' she thought to herself, '_It would be wrong._'

Suddenly she felt embarrassed, and she tore her eyes away swiftly. A blush rose to her cheeks and she stepped back. He didn't stop her. He too, looked away, unsure of what had just happened. She felt exposed, all of a sudden, her thoughts left out in the open for anyone to read. They scrambled out of the water, laughing awkwardly to fill the silence. She was sure nothing like that had ever happened between them before. There was no such thing as _awkward_ between the two of them. Everything was so comfortable, so _right_, and she had been the one to ruin that.

Alex shivered a little, her damp t-shirt clinging to her skin as they climbed up onto the dock. _Oh, shit!_ Her arms flew up across her chest as she started to blush again, realizing she was now wearing a thin, wet white t-shirt. Not the best combination. Nate mistook her actions and scooted closer, asking, "You cold, Alex?"

She was about to shake her head no when he reached around her, wrapping her in a sideways hug and rubbing his hands up and down her arms for warmth. Alex smiled and leaned in a little closer, resting her head on his chest. "You ready to go back?" he asked, dropping a light kiss on the side of her head.

Alex stopped herself from sighing, trying to snuggle in even closer. How was he so oblivious? Didn't he get it? He could do all these things to her because it meant nothing to him, because she was his best friend. She had to tell him. She would, she decided, after rehearsal today. That would end it once and for all, and if he didn't like her, she would make it work. It had to. A life-long friendship couldn't end because of this, and everything would be fine no matter what. She laughed slightly as he realized he was still waiting for an answer.

"Uhhh..." she said nervously, "We can't go back yet."

"Hmm?" he asked, "Why not?"

Alex blushed again. Three times in one day, a record. She hardly _ever_ blushed. "Well, I kind of forgot that I was wearing a white t-shirt when we jumped, and..nowitsseethrough." she blurted, her face growing red.

"ALEX!" Nate yelled, his eyes landing on her completely soaked t-shirt and staring for one second too long before whipping his head around to look away. "Warn me, will you!?"

Alex laughed at his wide-eyed reaction. "Oh, c'mon, you've seen me in a bikini countless times, you doof."

"Yeah," he said, still looking the other direction, "But that's different!"

Alex chuckled and lay down on the dock, staring up at the clouds. "Okay, just lie down and look at the sky then, so you don't have to look at me."

He nodded and did so, staring up at the clouds. "We can just stay here until your shirt dries, then." he said, smiling.

"Thanks Nate," Alex said softly, turning to look at him. She was sure now, she would tell him. It might not turn out so bad. He could even like her back, couldn't he? What was so crazy about that? She had to take the risk. She smiled at him, and he turned his head to smile at her as well.

"No problem." he said, joking, "No one is allowed to see you in a wet t-shirt except for me."

Alex laughed and slapped him in the shoulder, and he pretended to yell out in pain. They laughed together, their stomachs shaking and their laughs sounding funny as they were lying down. They turned together to look up at the clouds and watched them pass by. This was how it should be, the two of them watching clouds pass, watching time pass.

'_I'm going to tell him,_' Alex said to herself determinedly, '_Today._'


	9. She Deserves Him

**Everything We've Known  
**_Chapter 9 – She Deserves Him  
_

Alex practically skipped back to her cabin, her shirt finally dried from the morning sun. She hummed quietly under her breath as she looked up at the sky, grinning at the picturesque clouds and shining sun. She took her time getting back, even though she only had 30 minutes to unpack and get ready for rehearsal. She reached the door of Cabin 10, where she and Mitchie would have the entire place to themselves. As returning campers, they had the privilege of choosing to bunk up with just one other person in a cabin, and it was an easy decision to decide to room together. She flung open the door and spun inside, dancing towards Mitchie with a smile on her face. Mitchie looked up from her suitcase, which she had been unpacking, and laughed.

"Too many happy pills in your Froot Loops this morning, Alex?" Mitchie joked, raising her eyebrow at her.

Alex grinned and danced over to Mitchie, grabbing her hand and twirling her around in a circle. "Isn't today a _fantastic _day, Mitch?" Alex asked, sighing contentedly.

"That it may be," Mitchie said, giggling and scrunching her face up at Alex, "But you didn't seem to think it was so fantastic when I was waking you up in the car earlier!"

Alex laughed her eyes and stuck her tongue out at her, causing Mitchie to snicker. "Real mature, Lex," she quipped, ducking as Alex's pillow came flying toward her head.

"But anyways," Mitchie continued, yanking a pair of patterned Converse out of her suitcase, "I think it's a great day too."

"So what kind of happy pills did _you_ take?" Alex grinned, lunging for Mitchie's shoes and slipping them onto her own feet, admiring them.

"Hugs, not drugs!" Mitchie said cheesily, and Alex laughed. "No, but seriously. I think I have a confession," she said, folding a pair of grey skinny jeans.

"Oh yeah?" Alex said absentmindedly, snatching Mitchie's jeans and holding them up to her legs.

"Alex!" Mitchie cried, "I just folded those! Plus, you should be listening to my confession!"

"Oops," Alex giggled apologetically, attempting to messily refold the jeans and then giving up and flopping down onto Mitchie's bunk. "I'm listening!"

Mitchie laughed and sat down next to Alex, messing with her bangs. Alex noticed–it was something she only did when she was nervous.

"What's up, Mitch?" Alex asked, looking at her concernedly.

"Okay, well...you have to pink promise not to tell anybody, okay?" Mitchie asked, continuing to finger her bangs nervously. Alex stuck out her pinky and shook, still gazing at Mitchie in worry. It must be something big–she and Mitchie always trusted each other without question.

Mitchie must have sensed Alex's worry, and she hurriedly said, "It's not that I don't trust you, Als! It's just...it might be hard for you to keep this a secret from a certain...person..." she trailed off uncertainly.

"Mitchie!" Alex interrupted, "You know I wouldn't tell anyone, especially after I pinky promised!" she smiled, and Mitchie nodded.

"Okay, I'm just going to say it," Mitchie said slowly, fiddling with her fingers. Alex gave her an encouraging smile, secretly dying to just shake the words out of her.

"So...I mean, okay. I don't know for sure, but...well, I think...I don't...okay, so well..._I LIKE NATE!_" she blurted, and her hand flew up to her mouth, looking shocked that the words had spilled out of her mouth.

Alex stared unblinkingly, her mouth falling slightly open. She sat totally still, her facial expression completely locked into one position. Her mouth parted and dropped open a little more, and then it closed again. Had she heard that right?

"Wait, what?" Alex found herself saying, her voice sounding oddly unattached from her body. And then suddenly, Mitchie was talking a million miles a minute, words shooting out of her mouth at top speed.

"He's just so cute, and I mean, I noticed before, but I never really thought about it, because...well, he's NATE, you know? But then a while ago I was thinking about it and I was like, well, why not? Because really, it's kinda perfect, don't you think? So many girls would kill to date him, and I know him so well, I mean, I've practically known him my whole life! And I know, I know it's kind of a bad time because he's leaving and all, but this could be my last chance, right? And I think I just wanna tell him and see what he says...and if he says no, that's no biggie, right? He's leaving anyways, I won't have to be embarrassed. So really, I have nothing to lose. Plus, he's been acting kinda different lately, did you notice? I don't know, maybe I'm reading all the signs wrong, but maybe he likes me too?"

Mitchie continued to ramble on, her voice droning in the background of Alex's thoughts. Three words rang over and over like a broken record in Alex's thoughts.

_Nothing to lose._

That was it. That was the difference between them, the advantage Mitchie had over Alex. She had nothing to lose, while Alex had everything to lose. Mitchie could walk away from whatever happened without a scratch, while Alex would have to walk away covered in scars. It just wasn't worth the fight, it was a losing battle already. And Alex, however much she wanted something, put her friends before everything. No matter how cynical and distant she might seem to others, she always knew when to do the right thing. Mitchie had been hurt so many times that she hardly even believed in love anymore. She was carefree on the outside, but Alex knew better. Alex was the strong, confident type. Mitchie, on the other hand, was too innocent. She would never admit it, but it was true. She believed in people, and the good of the world. She would wait and wait until something came knocking. Alex could _make_ ends meet, while Mitchie needed them to come together on her own. How could Alex have missed this? Alex couldn't ruin this for her friend. It was Mitchie's turn now.

"That's...great, Mitch." Alex said, her throat dry and her voice cracking.

"Oh, you really think so?" Mitchie asked, her eyes lighting up as she beamed at Alex.

Alex looked at her, her excitement too visible. She was so readable, her thoughts so out there. How could she let her get hurt? And how could she have missed it, after all this time? She'd been so caught up in Nate that she hadn't even noticed that her own best friend was falling for him too.

_'Stupid, stupid, stupid,_' Alex kicked herself mentally, _'How could I have been so stupid?_'

"Yeah, Mitch." she said slowly, managing a smile. It was difficult for her to even say the words, but she really did want the best for Mitchie. And Nate was the best for her friend. Hadn't she said to herself earlier that he was too good for her? It was true. Mitchie was a better person than her.

_'God, I can't even be happy for my own friend,_' Alex sighed, _'How could I ever think for even one second, that he might like me back? He's too good. He's everything I'm not, everything that Mitchie is._'

Mitchie deserved him.

"I really think so, Mitchie." she said quietly, "It's fantastic."

Mitchie grinned, bouncing on the bed and grabbing Alex into a lung-crushing hug. "I'm so happy, Als. I was so worried you might think I was crazy...I mean, he is our best friend. But I just...really, really like him, Lex." she smiled, looking off into the distance. "Thanks Al," she crowed, "You're the best."

She leaped off and ran out of the cabin, waving cheerily at Alex. "See you at rehearsal!" she called, slamming the door behind her and skipping off into the distance.

And to think that Alex had thought about telling Nate, today, after rehearsal. How had things changed so fast?

"What happened?" Alex whispered to herself, sinking on to her own bed. She wanted so badly to go back in time, to stay right there on that dock with Nate. She would have told him then, if she had known. Or she would have just stayed there, in his arms. What did it matter?

'_There you go again, Alex, being selfish. You can't tell him, not now. You can't ruin this. You've already made this bad enough. No, you and Nate are just friends._'

Mitchie deserved him.

* * *

**A/N: **First off--**101 REVIEWS! **You have no idea how happy that makes me. It makes me want to dance, and sing, and jump around. And of course, write more chapters. **THANK YOU!**

Now, please please please let me know what you think. I know this is a huge twist, but I really wanted this to add to the plot. I have some very exciting things planned for upcoming chapters--but I can only hope that you like this. Also, I want to point out that what happened in the film version of _Camp Rock_ never happened in this 'fic--they did go to CR four years ago, but when they attended, Connect 3 did not exist, and they were all friends from before. Hence, Shane & Mitchie were never together. I just want to make this clear in case any of you were confused! I truly hope that none of you are thrown off/hate this twist. Let me know, I worked hard on it! Just press that button, and instant happiness on my part! _xoxo, _Cami


	10. I Don't, I Can't

**A/N: **Hello, I love you. (That's a great song, by the way!) But really, I do. Your reviews astound me every single day. I can't stop smiling, I can't tell you how much they mean to me. So I hope you love this chapter as much as I loved your reviews. I'm starting to get really into the story--I love writing every single word. And I know that I can really relate to Alex..I feel like so many girls have been in situations like this. I hope you can relate, or at least understand, what she's going through! **Review, and I love you forever** (but I already do!), _Cami_

_

* * *

_

**Everything We've Known  
**_Chapter 10 –__ I Don't, I Can't  
_

Alex sat in the cabin alone staring at the spot where Mitchie had sat minutes before, replaying the scene in her mind. The funny thing was, after about the third time remembering the things that Mitchie had said, Alex wasn't even feeling anything at all anymore. It was as if she was completely numb. She had changed over the years, in more ways than just physically. A few years ago, she would have said something to Mitchie without even thinking. She would have told Mitchie everything, and they would have fought over the boy–but they would have gotten over it. That was the kind of friendship they had always had, an honest one. Mitchie would have understood, and they would have worked it out together. In fact, she was sure that she could still tell Mitchie, and they'd still be as good friends as ever. But sitting there, Alex realized that she didn't want to do that. What would it matter? At least one of them should get a chance with Nate. She'd ruined so many things already.

Alex used to care about what she wanted. Today, she wasn't sure. She'd been wrong with so many things, that she didn't know whether to trust her instincts or not. And to be completely honest, she was scared. She'd made herself scared to death of trying things. She wanted him more than anything, in a way that pained her. If things didn't work out–it would break her beyond repair. She was so close to breaking point already. So yes, it was clear she had changed. She'd always thought that it was just her maturing over the years. But now she felt as if she had been going backwards all along. She'd become scared and timid, so different from the courageous, reckless girl she used to be. Weren't you supposed to _grow_ over the years? If this was growing, Alex didn't like it. But she'd done it to herself, she'd closed herself off from the world. She'd needed to face reality, understand that life wasn't all catching butterflies and running races. It was harsh, and cruel. Alex had learned to deal with that–by simply not caring. She'd made herself indifferent to everything...except for Nate.

She groaned loudly, putting her face in her hands. She didn't know herself anymore. Her feelings were so complicated. She just didn't want to deal with anything at the moment. Let Mitchie have Nate. They would be happy together, she was sure. They'd be better off if they just forgot about her forever. And she'd be better off if she forgot about Nate.

Alex closed her eyes. That was it–she had to forget about Nate. If she couldn't stop thinking about him as more than a friend, then she'd have to forget about him altogether. Not permanently, just until she got a hold of herself. Until she understood who she was again. She knew that was the right thing to do, for Mitchie, for her. But it was the last thing she wanted. The very second she had wanted to pull him closer than ever, she would have to push him away. It wouldn't be easy–she had been pushing people away most of her life, and Nate understood that. But he'd always been stronger when it came to pushing. He'd push back, and eventually Alex would give up. He was the only one who truly understood Alex, and the fact that she pushed the ones she loved most away, to see if they'd fight their way back. Nate always fought. It would be so, so hard, but she would do it. She had to. Quick, angry tears of frustration slipped down her cheeks as she stood up from her bed, shaking them off. She was too strong for crying. Or she would have to be. She was terrified, but she was determined. She had to learn to get along without him by the end of the summer anyways–she'd just start a little early.

* * *

Alex sprinted inside the rehearsal hall, opening the door with a bang and running breathlessly inside. Unfortunately, everyone was already seated in various chairs around the room, and they all turned to stare as she tried to sneak inside unnoticed.

Brown stood and raised his eyebrows at her, saying, "Nice of you to join us, Alex. Late on the first day of rehearsal–not the best example to set as a returning camper, is it?"

"Sorry Brown," she mumbled sheepishly, looking down at her feet.

Brown seemed to notice something wasn't quite right. The girl he met years back was feisty and always gave Brown a run for his money. She was a handful, but Brown had grown to admire her spunk. He frowned and dropped the subject as he gestured for her to take a seat. She looked up quickly and her eyes flew to Nate, who was looking at her with a question in his eyes. He smiled and waved when she saw him, and Alex's eyes flew rapidly back to the floor. It took all of her strength to look away without waving back as she turned to face front, not seeing Nate's confused expression.

'_Remember, Alex,_' she reminded herself, '_It's better this way._' She stared straight ahead, determined not to say a word unless necessary.

"Alright Camp Rockers," Brown said, clapping his hands together, "We're gonna try something different this year. First, I'm going to have you pair off and sing for each other! This summer, in addition to overall rocking out and rehearsing for Final Jam, you'll each be writing an original piece to perform for the class. Your partner will critique you along the way, helping you improve your piece, because songwriting is just as important in the music industry as performing. For the final class performance, you may do a solo, duet, or group collaboration. So partner up, everybody!"

Alex looked around the room helplessly. People around her were scrambling to find partners, calling across the room and waving friends over. She didn't want to have to face Nate _or_ Mitchie right now, but everybody seemed to already be partnered up. Just on cue, a familiar voice yelled, "Alex!"

She bit her lip and pretended not to hear, but the calls grew more persistent.

"Hey, Allie!" Nate called, jogging over to her. "Jeez, are you deaf?" he joked, but Alex just shook her head disconnectedly.

"Be my partner?" he asked, an adorable smile on his face.

"Uhh," Alex stalled, still looking frantically around the room, "Uhh, uhm, why don't you be with Mitchie, Nate?" she asked desperately.

"Huh?" he asked, thrown off, "Why?"

"Oh, uhh," she fished, "Because.."

At that moment, Shane passed by on his way to grab a tambourine, and Alex grabbed his arm in a flash. "Because I already said I would be Shane's partner!" she blurted.

Shane looked at Alex quizzically for a moment, and then nodded at Nate. "Yeah, sorry Nate! She helped me start a song a while back, so I figured she could just help me finish it. But Mitchie looks like she might need a partner, why don't you ask her?"

"Oh, yeah," Nate muttered, rubbing the back of his neck uncertainly. "Sure, okay."

He shoved his hands in his pockets as he turned away, giving Alex another confused look. He didn't mind being with Mitchie, they would work well together. But he knew Alex--and he knew when she was lying. What he didn't know was _why_. There was no reason for her to lie about something like this. He shuffled away to an ecstatic Mitchie, who beamed at him when he asked her to be his partner. He smiled back at her and listened blankly to her plans, absentmindedly looking back at Shane and Alex. Alex had stolen his tambourine from him and was waving it in the air, just out of his reach. She laughed as he jumped for it and almost tripped, grabbing onto her for support. She threw her head back in laughter, and Nate wished the room were quieter so he could hear what they were saying. What would make her laugh like that? Shane put his arm around Alex, and Nate felt a tiny pang of something like anger form inside him. Anger, and something else. Confusion? Hurt? _Jealousy_? No, why would he be jealous? The first two made more sense. What had he done to make Alex not want to be his partner? Enough that she would lie to him? He frowned slowly as he turned back to Mitchie.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, looking at him worriedly.

"Oh, no," Nate managed a small laugh, "No, it's nothing."

* * *

"C'mon Alex, give it back!" Shane whined, trying to reach around her back for the tambourine.

Alex laughed, sliding the tambourine into her other hand and diving around Shane. "Is that the best you can do?" she teased him as he lunged for the instrument.

"You already owe me, Als! Return the tambourine and I'll consider us even." he said, putting out his hand.

"What do you mean, I _owe_ you?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"Hello, I covered for you! You should be thanking me for being your partner!" he cried, desperately jumping for the tambourine one last time. Alex laughed as he stumbled, diving a little too high in the air and grabbing on to her so as not to fall down.

"Okay, okay," she admitted, "Thank you. You saved me."

"You're welcome," Shane said, rolling his eyes and still gripping Alex's shoulders. "I don't get why you don't want to be partners with him, though. I mean, it would be the perfect chance for you to get him to realize what he's missing!" he said, flinging his arm affectionately around Alex.

She scoffed, putting her head on Shane's shoulder. "Yeah, well why don't you tell him that? I don't think he'll ever see."

"If he doesn't, he's a bigger idiot than I thought he was." Shane said, grinning. "Oh, and he's also staring at you." he whispered, nudging Alex.

"What!?" Alex hissed, slowly spinning to look at him just as he turned back to Mitchie. She sighed. "It doesn't matter anymore, Shane."

"I thought we already went over this, Alex. We both know it _does_ matter. So what's with the sudden change in heart?" he looked at her questioningly as his eyes widened in thought. "Did you tell him!?" he asked, his voice rising in pitch. "What did he say!? Did he say something dumb!? I'm going to _kill_ him!"

"No!" Alex said, laughing. "I didn't tell him, so don't try to kill him. I just...can't, not right now." she murmured, looking dejectedly at her feet. "So just...forget about what I told you this morning, okay? Please, just pretend I never said that."

"How can I just _forget_ about that, Alex? It's obvious you like him, to me, to you, to everyone but him!"

"It's not obvious to Mitchie either," Alex muttered under her breath, and Shane made a face.

"What does _Mitchie_ have to do with ANY of this!?" he asked, getting angry with her.

"Look Shane," Alex said, her voice hardening, "If _I_ can forget about this, so can you. This isn't about me at all. It has _everything_ to do with Mitchie, because she likes Nate. _Mitchie_ likes Nate, not me, okay?"

Shane's mouth dropped open slightly, and he stared at her, taken aback. "What, so you're just going to ignore your feelings? You're just going to say that you don't like him anymore?" he sputtered, giving her a harsh look.

"I-I.." Alex trailed off, and she took a deep breath. "I don't," she said firmly, trying to keep her voice from shaking, "I don't like him anymore." Her own words cut at her, and something inside her screamed, _Lies! _She repeated it quietly, a silent mantra. "I don't, I don't, I _don't_."

And the silent voice inside her repeated itself in a whisper, _I can't, I can't, I can't._


	11. Pretending

**Everything We've Known  
**_Chapter 11 - Pretending  
_

"Get up!" a harsh voice screamed into Alex's ear, and she moaned as she rolled over.

"Alex.." the voice called again desperately. "You need to get up."

Alex sighed as she pulled her blanket over her head, still not fully aware of her surroundings. Suddenly, a hand was tugging on her blanket as it ripped the sheets away from her and sent a rush of cold air into her bed. She blinked as she opened her eyes to see a concerned Shane standing over her bed.

"We're going to dinner," he said sternly, "So get dressed."

"No, please, Shane.." Alex pleaded, "You go, okay?"

Shane ignored this and started to go through her dressers, yanking out random articles of clothing and throwing them at her head. "Here, wear this!" he cried, thrusting a dress at her head and crossing his arms impatiently.

Alex giggled, for the first time in a few days. "Shane, I'm not wearing a party dress to dinner."

Shane grinned. "AHA! So you _are_ coming to dinner!" he cried triumphantly, yanking her out of her bed. Alex groaned.

"I just..don't want to talk to anybody right now." Alex said, looking at her feet and tugging at a strand of her hair. "Not to mention that I haven't showered."

Shane chuckled, and then became serious again. "Alex, you've practically locked yourself in this cabin for three whole days. I can only cover for you by saying your sick for so long."

Alex sighed and stood up, knowing this was true. She'd have to face everyone eventually. It had been three whole days since Mitchie had told Alex that she liked Nate, and she'd been doing her best to avoid him ever since. It wasn't easy, seeing as they would have normally spent every hour of the day together--but it had to be done. At first, it had been subtle. She'd pretended not to hear him calling after her when she left rehearsal that day, and she'd run all the way back to the cabin. He'd texted her after that, wanting to know where she'd gone, but she'd left them unopened and unreplied in her inbox, even though she ached to read them.

She'd started to skip meals, taking to eating alone after everyone had cleared out of the mess hall. She preferred not to be around any of her friends when possible--it just made things worse. Shane, although he did a great job of cheering her up, didn't want to talk about anything but her telling Nate, which was something she couldn't deal with at the moment. Nate, well, it was obvious why she couldn't see him. And Mitchie was still oblivious, constantly flirting shamelessly with Nate. Alex tried as hard as she could to be happy for her, but it was getting increasingly harder as she continued to pretend.

And it went on to get even harder when Nate started to figure out something wasn't right. He asked her over and over again, at every chance he got, "What did I do, Allie?", "Allie, please, you can tell me", and "Allie, can't you just explain?". It hurt Alex more than anything to put on a smile every time and say, "It's nothing, Nate. I just don't feel good, okay?". That went on for two days. Alex stayed in the cabin, skipping rehearsals when possible, and spending all her free time trying to fall asleep. When Mitchie came in, she'd act like she was sleeping, or tell her she wasn't feeling well. Obviously, Mitchie was concerned, but she was pretty caught up in Nate at the moment. And Alex did her best to encourage her. She'd tell her to go hang out with Nate, and have fun. After all, she was doing this all for her, even if Mitchie didn't know it. Once Mitchie had left, Alex would try once more to fall asleep--but she usually ended up thinking of Nate.

It was those eyes, that kept floating back into her head. They were always so bright, and lively, although the rest of his face was usually serious and thoughtful. But these days, they were haunting, and pleading. Every time she saw him, she had to look down, because eye contact would break her. She would spill the secret she had tried so hard to keep if she looked into his desperate eyes. So she avoided him, ignored him, and ran away. But she realized that Nate wasn't going to give up any time soon.

"Okay," she whispered, as Shane grinned at her, "Let's go."

* * *

"I can't do this," Alex sighed, as Shane tugged on her arm. "You go, I'll go back to the cabin."

"You're not going _anywhere_," Shane growled, "Except inside the mess hall. You may not want to see anybody, and I can't change your mind. But you _do_ have to eat something. At least grab a bite to eat? You can leave as soon as you're done."

Alex bit her lip, and nodded, letting Shane lead her up the stairs. Dinner was already in full-swing, and no one noticed as they entered the mess hall. Alex let herself feel relieved as she and Shane slid into the lunch line, unnoticed in the crowd. She looked around the room and was glad to see that neither Mitchie or Nate were anywhere in sight--although this probably meant that they were together somewhere. Alex couldn't help but sigh a little before she scolded herself. _Stop being so selfish_. _You're happy for Mitchie, you're happy_.

Alex and Shane finally made their way to the end of the line, where they grabbed a pair of trays and grabbed a burger each. They headed to an empty table at the back of the room, and ate for a while in silence. It was nice to not have to talk about anything for a moment. She was glad that Shane had persuaded her to come, even if she hadn't wanted to. She felt herself relaxing, and she even laughed when Shane managed to get ketchup all over his mouth. She threw him a napkin, and the two of them continued eating.

Suddenly, something caught Shane's attention, and he looked distractedly past Alex.

"Whatcha lookin' at?" Alex asked, taking the opportunity to snatch a handful of fries from Shane's plate.

She expected him to protest, but instead he just shrugged nervously and said, "Oh, uhm, nothing!"

Alex narrowed her eyes at him and turned to look behind her, where Shane had been staring. The door had just swung open, and Alex's eyes immediately fell on Nate, who stood in the doorway looking around the mess hall.

"Shane!" Alex hissed, and he shot her an apologetic look. Alex groaned under her breath and stood up abruptly from the table.

"I'll see you at rehearsal tomorrow," she muttered, glaring at him for not warning her. Her heart was pounding overtime and she already felt sick. She had to get out of here, and fast.

"Alex," Shane called after her, looking at her disapprovingly. His voice was tired, and exhausted. "He's your _best friend_. You can't just ignore him forever. Think about what you're doing to him, Al. He doesn't get it. You should see him trying to figure out what he's done wrong. You're killing him, Alex."

Alex shook her head. "_I'm_ not killing anybody, Shane. He could care less, I'm sure. He's the one hurting me, not the other way around, remember?"

Shane sighed. "Yeah, that _was_ true--before you stopped talking to him. He can't see why you would just start avoiding him all of a sudden. You don't know what you're doing to him, Al. He can't sleep, he can't eat, he hasn't even picked up his guitar.You at least owe him an explanation."

"He..can't sleep? He hasn't picked up his guitar?" Alex whispered hoarsely, sliding back into her seat. "I-I did that to him? You're joking, Shane. Why would he even care?"

Shane gave her a look. "He may not be _in_ love with you, but he does love you, Alex. You're _best friends_, for crying out loud!"

Alex looked up weakly and caught Nate's eye as he approached their table. It had been so long since she'd dared to even look in his direction, and God, those eyes.._NO! This is why you avoided him, remember? _Alex shook all such thoughts of him furiously out of her head. Instead, she looked at him carefully. His hair was disheveled, and yet somehow still looked perfect. He looked like he hadn't been sleeping for days, as Shane had said. But at the sight of her, his entire face brightened, and his eyes lit up. Alex forced a tiny, apologetic smile on her face, sighing. Shane was right--she couldn't avoid him forever. The past three days had been the longest of her life. And it was clear that no matter how much she avoided him, it wasn't making the situation any better.

"Alex?" Nate called as he neared the table, and Alex nodded at him, the small smile still plastered on her face. She hated that she had to keep hiding something around him, she hated that she had to keep up this act. Every thought, every move of hers had to be monitored while she was around him..already her heart had started to skip a few beats. She'd hoped that it would have gotten better after a few days away from him, but it had only gotten worse. The only difference was that the pitter-patter of her heart was weaker, more desperate, almost like it was ready to give up. But that didn't mean she could deny it.

"Can I..can I talk to you for a second?" he asked, biting his lip. Alex wanted to get up and run away, but she stayed firmly planted in her seat and nodded wordlessly. She was afraid to speak for fear that he would recognize everything she was feeling in a single word from her mouth.

He slid down into the seat next to her, and Alex scooted her chair slightly away unconsciously. He frowned, but didn't say anything. Shane slowly picked up his tray to go, and Alex sent him a desperate look, trying to get him to stay. She didn't think she could talk to Nate alone--but Shane was already gone. She closed her eyes and then turned to look at Nate.

"Okay," she said slowly, her voice cracking, "I know I need to apologize. I'm sorry, Nate. I'm sorry for avoiding you, and I'm even more sorry for what I'm about to say..but I just can't keep it a secret anymore. So, I have to tell you.." She took a deep breath, and began again, "I have to tell you that..I think I lo--"

"It's okay, Allie," Nate cut in, interrupting her and giving her a small, crooked half-smile. "I already know everything."

"Wh-what?" Alex whispered, her mouth dropping open slightly. _He what!? _How could..did Shane tell him? No, he wouldn't. Then..what? Had he _guessed_?

"And, I just want to say," Nate continued, smiling at her reaction, "I think you're the best friend anybody could have."

Alex gulped, her eyes widening. What was that supposed to mean? He liked her as a friend, but not as more? That had to be it. She was so stupid. Hadn't she already realized that he could never like her as more than a friend?

"I think it's so sweet of you for trying to keep it a secret...I can't believe you would do all that for Mitchie." he continued, "I mean, you avoided me for three whole days, Lex! And you have no idea what that did to me.." he trailed off, running his hand through his hair. "But that doesn't matter, now that I know. I can't believe I didn't see it before, I feel so stupid! But I guess it kind of makes sense, right?"

_It made sense? Did that mean..he agreed? Was he feeling it too? WHAT DID HE MEAN!?_

"Wait," Alex interrupted, her throat dry and her palms sweating. "How do you know about Mitchie?" Something didn't make sense, but she couldn't grasp what. All she wanted to know was if Nate liked her too.

"She told me, just now!" Nate beamed, "Like I said, I feel so dumb for not noticing. And I still can't get over the fact that you avoided me for _three_ days to keep Mitchie's secret--I guess you were really scared you would accidentally tell me, huh?"

_Wait. Mitchie's secret? What? Oh my God. He didn't mean my secret. He meant...Mitchie's.  
_

Nate grabbed her into a hug, squeezing her tightly and making Alex gasp slightly in surprise.

"I'm just so happy!" he grinned, "I mean, I'm so glad that you can talk to me again, now that you're not worried you might tell me that Mitchie likes me! And I'm so glad that Mitchie and I are going out!"

Alex's head spun. But she had thought...oh God. She had let herself think, for one second, that Nate knew everything...but that was stupid, and impossible. And now he thought that Alex had just avoided him so that she wouldn't tell him about Mitchie...how could she have been so stupid?

"You're..you guys are going out?" she whispered, feeling sick.

"Yeah!" he exclaimed, hugging her even tighter. "Can you believe it!?"

"Wow," she muttered, "I mean, no, I can't believe it, Nate. That's..great. Just great." she finished, pushing him away slightly and ending the hug.

He looked at her for a second, and a flash of concern flared up in his eyes..and then it had died again. He smiled at her and beamed.

"Thanks Allie," he said, "I knew you would be happy! Oh God, you have no idea how much it killed me that you weren't talking to me...I thought I did something wrong, you don't know how much it hurt...But it's so good to talk to you again." he smiled in relief at her, "And you're the best friend a guy could ask for..really."

Alex laughed, but it sounded wooden and empty. "You don't mean that, Nate." she whispered. She gave him a small smile, and a wave. She pretended that everything was alright, that it had always been alright. She pretended that she was okay, and she pretended that everything was back to normal. She pretended that she wasn't desperately in love with her best friend, and she pretended that she was overjoyed that Nate and Mitchie were going out. She pretended that nothing fazed her.

Then she turned to walk out of the mess hall, and she pretended that she wasn't about to cry.

* * *

**A/N: **Hey guys--another chapter, yippee! Thank you times a million for your reviews. Also, **Aspen** gave me some very constructive criticism, and I'd like to tell you all that I wrote this with _Selena_ in mind, not Alex. I agree that Alex in WOWP would probably not act this way, but I think Selena would do this for Demi. So please, picture it like that! :)

As for this chapter, I have to apologize. I bet you all are getting sick of Alex's heart being broken, over and over again. I am too--but that's the way that life turns out sometimes. It's not what we want, or what we expect, but it's real. I'm so sorry again, for those of you who are waiting for Nalex. It will happen eventually, I swear. I hope you liked this anyway!

You've all been so sweet with your reviews--I can't get enough of them. **I LOVE YOU**. If you're reading this, please just press that button! _xoxo, Cami_


	12. He'd Do Anything

**Everything We've Known  
**_Chapter 12 – He'd Do Anything  
_

As soon as Alex was out of the double doors to the mess hall, she ran. She didn't know where she was going, but her feet carried her forward as she bit her lip and willed herself not to cry. Her vision blurred as she ran, and she forced herself to look down at her feet.

'_What is wrong with you, Alex?_' she cried to herself, '_When did you become such a mess? I thought you were stronger than this._'

Her hair flew messily out of it's ponytail as she swerved around the rehearsal hall and came to a stop, sinking down onto the grass against the wall. Only then did she let the tears fall, spilling out of her eyes and running down her cheeks, where she wiped them away furiously. She was supposed to be strong. How could she let a boy reduce her to tears like that?

'_But he's not just any boy,_' a voice rang through her head, '_He's Nate._'

Alex hit her head against the wall as the tears continued to roll down her face, clenching her fists and closing her eyes.

"Please, please," she whispered, "Just make it stop hurting. Make the pain go away.."

"Alex?" a voice called, and she jumped as Shane stepped around the rehearsal hall, walking towards her in concern. "Oh no, Alex.."

Alex shook her head at him, closing her eyes once again in attempt to make the tears stop. They didn't.

"I'm so _stupid_, Shane..What happened to me? How..how did I become like this?" she cried, her face turning up in pain as she rolled herself into a ball.

"You're not stupid, Als. He's the stupid one, because he can't see how much you love him." he said as he sank down next to her in the grass.

"But I'm not _supposed_ to love him, Shane! He's my best friend's _boyfriend_, and my best friend too. Something is seriously wrong with me, don't you get it?"

"Nothing's wrong with you," Shane pressed, "I don't know how many times I have to tell you that..Did you tell him, at least?"

"No," Alex whispered, "How could I, when he just told me that he and Mitchie are going out?"

Shane closed his eyes and swallowed before looking at her again. How could his brother not see how much this hurt Alex?

"I thought you promised you would think about telling him, Als."

"I-I tried," she said, fighting back tears again, "But he got it all wrong. It was all just..a misunderstanding. And I would only end up getting hurt if I told him."

Shane shook his head. "Maybe things wouldn't work the way you wanted," he said, "But it wouldn't hurt any more than this, Alex."

Alex looked up at him through teary eyes as he said this, and he continued on. "He would never do anything to hurt you. He would break up with Mitchie if that's what it meant to make you happy, Lex. He would do anything for you, can't you see?"

Alex groaned."He wouldn't, Shane. Not like that."

It was Shane's turn to groan. He looked at her sternly, and said, "Don't you remember, Alex?"

**- Flashback (Summer 2006) -**

_"ALEX!" Nate yelled, chasing her frantically down the sidewalk. His backpack bounced against his back as he ran after her, his breathing getting heavier with each step.  
_

_"Will you STOP chasing me!?" Alex yelled back at him, turning briefly to say this. Nate grabbed her shoulder but she shook it off and continued to walk away.  
_

_"NO!" he yelled back, "Not until you talk to me and let me explain!"_

_"Well I guess you'll never stop chasing me then!" Alex screamed over her shoulder, dashing off again in a huff._

_Nate groaned as he picked up the speed again, watching her ponytail fly angrily behind her. Their school was now far behind them, and they were nearing their neighborhood. Nate knew that he had to catch her soon, or she would reach her house before him and then he wouldn't be able to explain._

_"Allie, please!" he cried desperately, still chasing after her. "I'm sorry Allie, just let me tell you!"_

_"What are you sorry for!?" she barked, turning on her heel and spinning to face him. "For not sticking up to me when your stupid girlfriend made fun of me in front of the entire school!? For going out with her in the first place!? Or for ignoring me practically the whole time you two were dating!?"_

_"FOR ALL OF IT!" he yelled, throwing his hands frustratedly up in the air. "And she's not my girlfriend, Allie! Do you really think I would keep going out with her after all those awful things she said about you?"_

_"Well it didn't stop you from saying yes when she asked you out!" she spat, her eyes fiery and blazing. "And you didn't seem to think she was so AWFUL when you were going out!"_

_"Allie," Nate begged, "I was wrong, okay? She was stupid, terrible, and mean, and I couldn't see that! You mean so much more to me than she ever will.." he said, looking pleadingly at her._

_For a moment, he saw a flicker of forgiveness in her eyes, and then the defiant Alex was back again. "Well it's too late. You already made me feel like crap, so just forget about me."_

_"Alex," he whispered, "What do you want me to do? I'll do anything, if you'll just forgive me. I can't get by without you, Allie. Please?"_

_She bit her lip, and then shook her head furiously. "Don't try that with me! I don't want any favors from you, Nate Gray. I don't care if you buy me flowers every day for the rest of my life, or write me 50 original songs. I'm sick of it! You got along just fine without me this past week, so why don't you go back to that dumb blond girl and leave me alone?"  
_

_And then she turned again, running off before he could even take in what she was doing. He groaned again and put his head in his hands. "WAIT, ALLIE, PLEASE!" he yelled, but she was already ahead of him, sprinting across the street. He sighed, and then took a deep breath. She was already across the street, speedwalking away, and if he didn't follow her she would get to her house in any second. He bit his lip, and then mumbled under his breath, "This better work.."_

_He looked out across the street as a silver sedan approached. Alex was already halfway down the sidewalk on the other side of the road, not looking back. He took one final deep breath and yelled, "ALLIE!!" as he ran into the street recklessly, screaming her name._

_The car blared it's horn as he jumped into the middle of the road, and it swerved abruptly to the side of the curb to avoid hitting him. The screech of the tires rang in Nate's ears and he winced, but he quickly looked up to see if she had turned around._

_Suddenly, a fiery ball of brown hair flew at him, screaming useless words and dragging him out of the road. Alex pummeled him from all sides, sending harmless punches at his stomach, chest, arms, and shoulders in all directions. "YOU IDIOT!" she yelled breathlessly, her face bright red with anger and her arms flinging themselves at him, sending hit after hit towards his body. _

_"HOW. STUPID. CAN. YOU. GET!?" she screamed, punching and kicking him with all her might between each word, thrusting herself at him hopelessly. He stood there in shock, her tiny fists bouncing off his chest and returning for more each time. And then suddenly, she had flung her arms around him and was holding herself up against him, almost bawling. _

_"You IDIOT!" she repeated, sniffling as she squeezed him tighter, tears of relief springing from her eyes. "How COULD you!?"_

_He let out a small laugh as he breathed a little sigh of ease, feeling like a load was off his chest. He couldn't stand having Alex mad at him. He shook his head in laughter as he wrapped his arms carefully around her waist, waiting for her anxious, hyperventilating gasps to subside. _

_"So you would really care if I got hit by a car?" he teased, pulling away slightly to look at her face. Suddenly her face scrunched up in fury again as she cried, "THAT'S NOT FUNNY, NATE GRAY!" and her ineffective fists were at him once again. _

_"Okay, okay!" he cried in defeat, throwing his hands up helplessly. "You win! I will never sacrifice my life to win back your trust again."_

_"You've got that right," she said, glaring at him and sniffling once more, her eyes strangely red. _

_"Were you..crying?" he asked dubiously, looking at her strangely and reaching up for her face._

_"I was NOT!" she yelled stubbornly, pushing his hands away and stepping back. "I changed my mind, Nate, you can get hit by a car any day." she said, putting her hands on her hips.  
_

_"Well.." he said, shrugging, "If you're sure.." He slowly put one foot off the curb as he made to step over the sidewalk, and then her arms had grabbed him again and yanked him roughly out of the road, shaking him by the shoulders._

_"You're the STUPIDEST person I've EVER MET!" she screamed, her eyes blazing again and her hair a mess. Nate grinned at her. _

_"Yes, but you love me anyways," he said, "And we've both established that we can't live without each other."_

_"Speak for yourself," Alex joked, rolling her eyes as Nate put his arm around her. "And by the way__–I'm expecting flowers at my doorstep tomorrow morning, and the first of the 50 original songs. Got it?"_

_Nate laughed. "You betcha, Lex."_

**- End Flashback -**

Shane looked at Alex apprehensively, raising his eyebrows. "See, Als? He'd do anything for you."

Alex sighed, and then frowned. "So what, you want me to tell him so that he'll break up with Mitchie for me? Yeah, that's a great plan, Shane. Ruin everybody's happiness. Even if he would do anything for me_–_which he _won't__–_then what would it mean, anyway? It would all just be a lie. He would be doing it for me, but he wouldn't _want_ it, not like the way I do. And besides, that was three years ago. He doesn't need me anymore, can't you tell?"

"He'll always need you." Shane said stubbornly, shaking his head. "He just needs an extra push to see it."

"What?" Alex said, frowning. "A push?"

"Well.." Shane said, "Maybe if _you_ act like you don't need him, then he'll see how much he actually relies on you_–_and maybe even loves you."

"That's crazy talk, Shane." Alex said, but she didn't mean it entirely. Could it be worth a try?

"Who knows?" Shane said, "I mean, maybe Mitchie really is the right girl for him..But Alex, nothing is worse than this. Maybe he'll open his eyes and see, for a change."

Alex sighed. "I hate to say it," she mumbled, "But I guess that's all I have left to try."

* * *

**A/N: **What did you think!? I've been getting a lot of mixed reviews lately_–_some of you are loving the drama and the heartbreak, and others of you are frustrated with it and want Alex to fight back. It's hard_–_no, impossible_–_for me to please everyone. However, I'm doing my best to take all of this to heart and really listen to what you have to say! So I've come up with what I think works best for the story, and is a combination of what you guys have asked for. _Please_ let me know what you think! I truly appreciate all the criticism and encouragement that all of you have to give. I listen to each and every review, and they all mean a lot. So THANK YOUall. _Lovelovelove, Cami_

**People like these are the ones who make this story worth writing:**

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Zialicious, , x3OJDx3, GreenDemonAngel, Savanvan

just to name a few _;)_


	13. Attempted Operations

**Everything We've Known  
**_Chapter 13 – Attempted Operations  
_

Alex ran down the dock, singing one of her songs under her breath. It had been more than two weeks since she and Shane had decided that Nate needed an extra push to realize, but things hadn't really been going according to plan. Originally, Shane had suggested that Alex ignore Nate altogether, but she had dismissed that idea immediately. After all, it had been Shane who had showed her what that had done to both of them--and she didn't think that she could go through with avoiding him any longer. Shane had then thought that Alex should just flirt outrageously with other boys in Nate's presence, to get him jealous. But Alex had dismissed this too--she hated girls who threw themselves at boys, and she refused to become one of them. So the two of them had concluded that she should just make it seem as if she was having the time of her life, to show him she didn't need Nate to be happy. Their hopes were that he might see what he was missing out on. But the downside to this was that Nate didn't seem to notice a thing, because what was so special about her being happy? If she had acted miserable, he might have noticed, but that was just asking for attention. And then of course, he would want to know why, and what would she say then?

So she'd been following through with the plan as best as she could. The upside to it was that she was actually starting to believe her own act. Nate and Mitchie truly were happy together, and she couldn't deny that. And as time passed, she found that it was becoming easier to act natural around them. But it still pained her to watch them act like a couple, and to know that Nate would never look at her like that. But for today, it was beautiful outside, and it made her feel like everything might be alright.

She grinned behind her at Shane, and then at Nate and Mitchie trailing after, hand in hand. She ignored the little pang that went up inside her at their joined hands, and continued to skip forward.

"Nothing is going to get me down in this weather," Alex said, kicking off her flip-flops and looking up at the sky. It was almost gorgeous enough to make her forget about everything. Even if the things that were getting her down were actually right behind her.

"You sure you're okay?" Shane said, looking back carefully at his brother, who was now beaming at Mitchie.

"I'm fine Shane," Alex said, staring straight ahead. She put on a smile, as if trying to convince herself. She really was getting better at this. Her feelings were easier to control now. But the thing was, their plan was turning out to be more like a decision to not let Nate know anything was wrong. In fact, he and Mitchie were so caught up in their own little world that they didn't seem to notice anything anymore. And she was beginning to think that if he hadn't noticed yet, he might not ever notice. Shane's idea was actually having the opposite effect of what they had hoped, and she didn't know how to change that.

Despite all of this, her summer seemed to be slipping through her fingertips. Time was flying by, and with every second that ticked past she was yet again reminded of how soon the Gray brothers would be leaving for Hollywood. How soon she would have to say goodbye.

She settled herself down at the end of the dock, lying on her back and letting the sun wash over her body. She closed her eyes for a moment, but the peace was soon interrupted by a soft laugh.

"Stop it, Nate!" Mitchie giggled as Nate started to tickle her. Alex opened her eyes and let a tiny sigh escape from her mouth, but it went by unnoticed by everyone.

'_Don't look, Alex,_' she said to herself, '_It will only make things worse._' But she couldn't help but shift her head slightly to glance at them. Nate had his arms wrapped around Mitchie and she was grinning and trying to get away. She laughed, but he simply watched her, a small smile forming on his lips. There was something in his eyes as he looked at her, a sort of glint of happiness that he seemed to reserve for her. It seemed like he had eyes for Mitchie, and Mitchie alone.

"No, Nate, I don't want to go swimming!" Mitchie laughed, and Nate rolled his eyes.

"C'mon, are you chicken?" he asked, and Alex frowned. Why was this conversation sounding oddly familiar? That was what he was supposed to say to _her_. Two weeks ago, it had been her in Mitchie's exact position. If she had acted on her feelings then, would she still be sitting here? Or would it be her instead of Mitchie, holding Nate's hand?

'_That doesn't matter anymore,_' she reminded herself, '_You're happy for them, and Mitchie was quicker than you. That's life._'

"Yeah, maybe I am a chicken!" Mitchie said, "Who cares? This chicken doesn't want to go swimming."

Alex couldn't help but sigh again. If it had been _her_, she would have gone swimming with Nate. She kicked herself mentally, and then stood up. She had to stop thinking like that. Who said she needed Nate to have fun? No, she had to remember the plan! She could have fun all by herself.

"Hey Shane, watch my phone, will you?" she asked, taking her Blackberry out of her pocket and setting it on the dock. She unzipped her jean shorts and discarded them by her phone, and slid her tank up off over her head to reveal a black bikini. She smirked to herself as she saw Nate and Mitchie turn to stare out of the corners of her eyes.

"Nuh uh!" Shane said, wrinkling up his nose. "Get Nate to do it! I'm coming in too!" he declared, yanking off his shirt.

"Not after me you don't!" Alex cried, grinning and taking a running sprint off the dock. She threw her hands up in the air and whooped as her legs sprung up, and then in a few seconds she splashed into the lake, the cold water hitting every inch of her.

'_Take that, Nate Gray,_' she thought to herself, '_See, I can have fun without you._'

She surfaced laughing, and soon Shane's head popped up beside hers as they treaded in the water. Alex grinned and yelled, "The water's great! C'mon, come swim with us!"

Shane laughed and winked at Alex. "_Someone's_ a good actress," he whispered under his breath, and Alex raised her eyebrows and sent a wave of water splashing toward his face. Shane yelled out and attacked back, sending his own short bursts of water towards Alex. Grinning, she ducked underwater and swam behind him, waiting for him to put down his guard before she popped to the surface and sent water flying, causing him to jump back in surprise.

As she continued to pelt Shane with handfuls of water, she took a quick glance at Nate. He and Mitchie sat stiffly on the dock, looking out at Shane and Alex having fun. For a split second, Nate and Alex's eyes met. Alex let a tiny grin escape from her lips, knowing that Nate couldn't stand not being in the water with them. _'Operation 'Make Nate Realize': In action,' _she thought to herself, smiling. Nate continued to stare at her, but she broke their gaze as she turned back to Shane and continued to send waves of water his way.

"ALEX RUSSO!" Shane screamed, putting his hands in front of his face to shield himself. Alex laughed and resumed splashing him with double the force.

"Take that!" she cried, raising her hands in a karate position. She turned to grin at Nate and Mitchie, and suddenly her hands fell from their upright stance, dropping to her sides. Shane took the opportunity to splash her fiercely, but the blasts of water just hit her arms as she stared unresponsively straight ahead.

"Alex?" Shane asked, looking up as the water stopped coming at his face. He looked up to see her, an expression of unfiltered hurt and pain on her face. Shane narrowed his eyes as he followed her gaze, leading his eyes to Nate and Mitchie--kissing. His mouth fell open slightly, and his first reaction was one of pure shock. Mitchie was looking up at Nate in awe, and he had her chin in his hands, smiling softly into the kiss. Alex felt sure that the world could stop turning just then and neither of them would notice.

"...Alex?" Shane repeated, this time his voice gentle and laced with concern. Alex's lips had folded in and her face had gone pale. She shut her eyes tightly, as if willing the image to leave her thoughts. But her eyes fluttered open to see them once more, looking far too happy in each other's arms. She stared, completely transfixed, as if unsure whether or not to believe what she was seeing. And then suddenly, without warning, a sharp pain hit her in the side. The pain spread rapidly to her chest, moving swiftly throughout her body. The feeling rose to her throat, choking and suffocating her. She tore her eyes violently away from them, and willed the panicky feeling to leave her system. Her hands flitted uncertainly around her, and she swam as fast as she could towards the shore. She silently thanked Shane for not calling out after her as she pulled herself unsteadily out of the water. Her feet wanted to run as fast as they could, but her mind knew better than that. She was fine without him. She had to show him she could be happy. So she left without saying a word, her head held high.

From behind her on the dock, Nate pulled away slowly from the kiss, smiling quietly down at Mitchie. His eyes then flickered out to the water, once, and then twice. His eyebrows furrowed together as he saw only Shane. Mitchie wrapped her arms around his neck as she tried to pull him back into a kiss, but he turned his head distractedly. "Where's Alex?" he asked, and then before Shane could answer, he stood up slowly from the dock.

_

* * *

_

Alex had managed to keep her composure the whole way back to the campgrounds, and the panic running through her veins had slowly subsided as she'd gotten further away from the dock. She kept her eyes wide open so as not to see the two of them in her head, the image imprinted in her mind. She shook her head vigorously as if to shake the picture away as she walked briskly to the rehearsal hall. She just needed to get away for a while. '_I'll be fine_,' she said to herself, '_Everything will be fine._'

As she opened the door to the studio, she breathed in the dusty scent of the room heavily. She let it wash over her, erasing all traces of the panic and replacing it with a more heady, in-control feeling. Here in this studio was where she was sure of herself. She walked to the center of the room, picked up her guitar, and started to play, humming along. Her music was her escape, the one time she could let out everything she was going through without feeling guilty. Her music meant more to her than ever, because it was the thing that let her know that things might one day be okay.

"_Sometimes you have to let yourself fall, fall, fall.._" Alex sang softly, experimenting with the notes and letting her frustration leave her as she sang.

"_Because it's hard to admit that you're living a lie...When you're leaving your unsaid words pent up inside..._

_We live, we break, we hurt, we fake, but we pick ourselves back up again...Because it all comes together in the end._" she sang, strumming the final chord and letting out a small sigh. She let her head drop loosely from her neck as she rubbed at her temples, her thoughts flooding back as soon as she stopped playing.

Suddenly, Alex looked up abruptly from her guitar as someone entered the room and began clapping softly.

"Give it up for the one, the only, Alex Russo!" Nate said, smiling sheepishly as he stepped into the room.

Alex gaped at him, and then her brows came together slightly in confusion. "Nate? What..are you doing here?"

For a moment, he almost looked hurt by the question. But it must have been a trick of the light because in a second, he was smiling again as he said, "I thought..you might want some company."

"Please don't tell me you...heard me playing?" Alex asked skeptically. Why had he followed her?

"Maybe just a little..?" Nate said, shoving his hands in his pockets apologetically and grinning shyly at her. "But I promise, it was really good, Allie."

"No one was supposed to hear that," Alex muttered, setting her guitar down roughly into it's case, "I haven't even showed that to Shane yet."

Nate's guilty expression darkened a little as he looked up. "Since when has Shane been the one you show your music to first?" he asked, the words spilling out of his mouth before he could stop them.

"Wh..what?" Alex asked, caught off guard. "What is your problem, Nate?" She paused, and then looked up at him again, a mixture of anger and confusion in her eyes.

"It's not like I _prefer_ him over you, he's just always there for me, and I can count on him. I mean, you're pretty busy these days anyway, Nate, what with Mitchie and all." she finished, the anger in her voice subsiding and changing into hurt.

Nate opened his mouth angrily as if to defend himself and fight back, and then his eyes dropped dejectedly. "Oh God," Nate said, putting his hand on his head. "I'm sorry, Lex. I don't even know what came over me. I just haven't gotten to talk to you in a while...It's my fault, I know. I guess I've just been tired lately, that's all."

"Yeah," Alex said flatly, nodding. "I guess late night canoe rides get you pretty tired, huh?" she asked softly, all the emotion gone from her voice. The first night Mitchie had snuck out of the cabin, Alex had stayed up all night thinking about what they must be talking about, and how much fun they were probably having. And how that could have been her.

Nate smiled, not seeming to notice her lack of enthusiasm. "You don't even know," he chuckled, "But it's so worth it." A far-away grin formed on his face as he thought about it, not noticing Alex's tight-lipped smile and her rigid features.

"I mean, I just don't know how I didn't notice it sooner. But I feel like we've been going out forever, you know? It's just not...awkward like it is with other girls, and she's so easy to be around. And everytime she smiles, it's like..." he looked off into space, grinning goofily.

Alex looked down at her feet. So he'd followed her just so he could have someone to talk to about Mitchie? She mumbled quietly, "Yeah, I know the feeling."

Nate blinked as if he'd just woken up from a dream, and then said, "Whoa, sorry Lex. Did you say something?"

Alex sighed, and then forced a smile. "Yeah," she said, not able to keep a curt edge out of her voice, "I said that you'd better get back to her. She's probably wondering where you went."

He looked straight at Alex, and a flicker of pain seemed to flash through his eyes once more. "Oh," he said softly, "Yeah, you're right. I better..get back."

Alex nodded. There was nothing left to say. Nothing that she had the courage to say, anyways. "Bye Nate."

And then she plastered that fake smile that she'd been using far too often on her face and watched him look at her, slowly turn with his hands in his pockets, and walk quietly out of the room, back to Mitchie.

* * *

**A/N: **Yay, Friday update! First off, I'd like to say you all ROCK. I can't stress that enough. I know I say it every chapter, but I mean it! I can't believe how much support you are showing for this story, especially with me being new on fanfiction. I never expected people to even like this story, let alone be so supportive. But I'm not complaining! ;)

Secondly, I'm having a bit of writer's block with the middle chapters here. I know what is going to happen in the end, but I'm frustrated with the middle because it's moving slower than I planned. But I hope you guys like it anyway--I tried to capture everyone's conflicting feelings in this chapter. What did you think of it?

**A little THANK-YOU to all of my reviewers:**

williamswheelbarrow, Alyssa4Music4Life, ma531419, xxthatswhatyougetxx, xxHeadInTheStarsxx

Aspen. LaBeouf, Fairy, bluebubble112, faith8313, Now..Left.x3, Zialicious, ScribblesOfLove

x3OJDx3, evershort, xScribbles819, aaddiiee, cr8vgrl, Savanvan, Kelsey Colbat, Disaster177

Can't wait to continue writing! And please keep reviewing--the ones that make me smile most are the ones that let me know exactly what you love about this story, and if you think something could be improved on. Each and every one of you encourages me so much. Again, thank you so much for everything. _Lovelovelove, Cami_


	14. Something Different

**A/N: **First off--I noticed a typo in my last A/N: I keep typing williamswheelbarrow, instead of williamswheelbarr**el**. I apologize! But for that mistake, I dedicate this chapter to you! ;)

& other special thanks to: Faith(8313), Alyssa(4Music4Life), Kendra(UtterlyRandom), & Mollie(ma531419). You have no idea how much your reviews mean to me. And everybody else, I love you too. On another note, I have a feeling I'm going to get a bunch of "I HATE MITCHIE!" reviews after this chapter...and that's totally fine. But I also want you to remember that she IS Alex's best friend, and Alex doesn't hate her in any way. She just doesn't see that Alex is...in love with Nate. Now enjoy!

* * *

**Everything We've Known  
**_Chapter 14 – Something Different  
_

"Alex!" Mitchie called as Alex entered the mess hall.

Alex waved back at her as she wove her way through the crowds, plopping herself down into a seat at the table exhaustedly.

"Hey, where'd you disappear to earlier?" Mitchie asked offhandedly, ripping a roll in half. Alex stole one half of the roll from her as she shrugged.

"The studio," she said, "I just got some inspiration for a song, and I guess I just had to get it down on paper, you know?"

Mitchie nodded, understanding. "Oh, gotcha. Yeah, when a song calls, you better answer!" she joked, grinning to herself.

Alex chuckled, and the two of them munched on their dinners in silence for a moment. Then Mitchie looked up from her salad, her expression more serious.

"Hey Lex," she said slowly, "So did...Nate find you in the studio, then?"

Alex blinked. There was something about the way that Mitchie said his name that made her dizzy. She said it with a certain conviction, as if he was hers alone. And yet there was a care about it, the way that it slipped out of her lips that also let you know that she was his. And she didn't even realize. How could all of that be heard in a name?

"Yeah," she nodded, "I don't know why he...Nate followed me." she experimented, listening to the way she said his name. And of course, it was entirely different. Her voice sounded raw and jagged-edged around the word, while Mitchie's sounded melodic. When Alex said his name, it sounded like an ungranted wish, and a last hope. Desperate.

She put down the roll she had been eating, suddenly feeling rather sick to her stomach. She started to look away, and then Mitchie spoke.

"He followed you because he's worried about you." she said plainly, looking at Alex carefully. "And to tell you the truth, I am too, Alex."

"What?" Alex made a face. "About me? Why?"

Mitchie sighed. "You haven't been yourself all summer, Als. I don't know what it is, but something changed."

"Changed?" Alex repeated, swallowing. "Nothing's changed."

Mitchie raised her eyebrow lightly, unconvinced. Alex sighed and shrugged, "Maybe I'm just bummed that Nate, Shane, and Jason are leaving at the end of the summer."

"Oh, don't even say that," Mitchie said, suddenly forgetting about her worry for Alex. "You don't even know how much I'm going to miss Nate.." she trailed off, "I don't know what I'll do without him."

A crease formed on Alex's forehead as she gazed at Mitchie, anger bubbling up in her throat. She was being irrational, she knew, but part of her wished that she could get up from the table right now and scream at Mitchie. _'**I** don't even know?_' Alex thought bitterly, '_No, **you** don't even know, Mitchie. I do know, I know so well._' But the anger slid away slowly as she continued to look at the hurt in Mitchie's eyes. Her best friend was in pain too.

'_No, it's worse for her_,' Alex thought, '_Because she's had a taste of knowing what it's like to be with him. And she has to have that taken away from her...but me, I've never known. So she's right, I don't know. And I never will._'

"Yeah," Alex said softly, in almost a whisper, "I can't imagine how awful it must be for you."

Mitchie nodded looking off, and then the sadness in Alex's words registered in her brain. "Oh Alex," she said quietly, "I know that it hurts for you too." Mitchie's eyes softened, and then turned to confusion.

"Something _is_ different about you, Als. I just..I just can't figure it out." she said, her eyes narrowing slightly as they ran over Alex's. Alex bit her lip, shrinking back in her seat. Was it so obvious?

Suddenly, someone shouted their names from across the room, interrupting their silent conversation.

"Mitch, Als, check this out!" Shane called as he jogged over to the table, brandishing a videocamera. He grinned when he saw them, and then leaned over the table casually to give each of them a quick greeting peck on the cheek. Alex rolled her eyes, laughing. The Gray boys all did it, as their signature hello with girls they were close with. Mitchie and Alex were always granted simple kisses on the cheek whenever the boys were around. And they never really complained--because who in their right mind would?

"I bought a brand new videocamera for camp," Jason said proudly as he slid up next to Shane, with Nate following just behind. "I kinda forgot about it these past few weeks, but I found it in my suitcase yesterday, under my socks!" he grinned, looking all too happy with himself. The girls giggled and he too reached across the table to give them both one-armed hugs and pecks on the cheek.

"So we're gonna record a video, and then after camp, I can turn it into a movie so we can watch it in Hollywood whenever we're missing you guys!" he said, snatching the videocamera from Shane and switching it on. He aimed it at Nate, who grinned goofily and pushed the camera away from him.

"Hey," Nate said easily as he reached over the table towards Mitchie, who grinned. "Your brothers both gave me a kiss," she pouted, "Don't I get one from you?"

Nate blushed slightly, and then leaned over to give Mitchie a soft kiss on the lips. Alex jerked her eyes away immediately, a stinging sensation already forming in her throat. The second time today, really? She bit her lip, her vision blurring ever so slightly as she gazed out the window.

"Alex?" a voice cut in through her thoughts, and she jumped. Nate stood in front of her, looking at her questioningly. He looked guiltily at her, his lips turning up into an uneasy smile. She stared at him confusedly, and then gulped as she realized he had been waiting for her to look up so that he could give her a kiss on the cheek as well. After all, it only made sense--he had done it for as long as she could remember. And yet, she didn't want him to. Things were awkward and painful enough already.

But he was already leaning in embarrassedly, and Alex shifted slightly as his lips landed lightly on her cheek. Alex sucked in a breath as he pulled away slowly, certain that he could feel a wave of heat rise up to her cheeks. His face lingered near hers for just a second too long before he jumped back disconcertedly. He stepped away, his mouth parting slightly in a question, and his eyes locking on Alex's. And then he turned away as fast as he had come, leaving Alex feeling flustered and pained. Why did her feelings have to go and mess up everything, as usual? Things weren't supposed to be awkward between her and Nate. They just weren't.

A momentary silence fell over the table, which Mitchie and Jason seemed oblivious to. Alex and Nate looked in opposite directions, Nate rubbing the back of his neck, and Alex fingering her ponytail.

"Uhh, Alex!" Shane said, sensing the tension in the air. "Did I show you the camera yet?" he asked nonchalantly, and Alex shook her head gratefully.

Alex laughed and winked as Shane aimed the camera at her. "So Lex," Shane said, "Give us a message, so we can play it back and remember you!"

"I'm offended, Shane!" Alex cried in mock anger, "You need a VIDEO to remember me!?" she joked, gasping dramatically.

Shane grinned evilly. "Yeah, you know, you're right. You better introduce yourself in the beginning too, just in case!"

Alex gave him a glare and refrained from punching him on camera. She stuck her tongue out at him and faced the lens, grinning. "See, this is the part where _most_ girls would call Shane a very bad name, but as you can see, I have so much more self-control and composure than that."

Mitchie and Jason snorted, and Alex shot them both a dirty look, shutting them up. Then she grinned back at the camera and said, "Plus, Frankie is probably watching this."

Shane laughed and said, "_There's_ the Alex I know!"

Alex laughed too, and then waved eagerly at the camera. "Hey Frankster, if you're watching this, I miss you so much right now...and I will miss you even more as you watch this, because you'll be in LA!" Alex smiled, trying to keep her voice enthusiastic as she thought of the prospect of the Grays being so far away from her.

"But you're going to have so much fun Frankie, and you're gonna forget all about tiny little New Jersey, and everyone back there. So don't worry about us, because we'll be right here missing you whenever you need us, okay?" She smiled weakly and blew a kiss at the camera before adding, "Oh yeah, that goes for you guys too, Nate, Shane, and Jase."

From across the table, Nate blinked when Alex said his name. Was there something different about it? He stared at her, trying to figure it out. She was still smiling and talking to the camera, making gestures, but Nate wasn't listening anymore. It was as if someone had pressed mute. Instead, his eyes locked on her face, carefully looking it over as if trying to read it. There was something about the way her eyes lit up as she laughed at the camera, and the way her mouth spread out into an infectious grin. Was there something different?

"Well said," Shane was saying, holding out an imaginary microphone in Alex's direction. "Anything else to add, Miss Russo?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "Miss Russo here is very busy and important." she said snootily, giggling. "But I'm sure she'll have scads of time over the next weeks to schedule an interview with you lowly people." She slid her sunglasses over her eyes and struck a pose.

She giggled as Shane turned the camera towards his next victim, and she turned away slightly. Suddenly, her eyes fell on Nate's, which were intently piercing into her own. Their eyes widened together in surprise as they met, and a current went up between them, making Alex grab her seat nervously. She stared back at him, wishing she knew what he was thinking. She used to be able to read him like an open book. But now, it was as if it was all in a different language. She swallowed back the same irrational fear rising in her throat that he could see right through her, as usual. But there was something different in his eyes now...could he know?

And then all of a sudden, Nate's eyes jolted from her own, breaking contact as Mitchie called his name. Alex felt as if something had been wrenched away from her, and she was left feeling hollow. Like something was missing. It was only natural for her to feel sad when Nate was gone--but when he was sitting right in front of her? He wasn't hers anymore, and she had no right to feel like that. Her eyes flew down to her feet as usual as she saw Mitchie slide over to Nate, smiling.

So she stared at her toes as Mitchie reached for Nate's hand, and as he stood up from his seat. So she didn't see as Nate clasped his own hand around Mitchie's, and the two of them walked away from the table. She didn't see as Mitchie stood up on her tiptoes to peck Nate shyly on the lips. And her heart would have broken if she saw Nate smile carefully and kiss her back.

But she also didn't see that as they turned to walk out of the mess hall, Nate looked down at his and Mitchie's entwined hands confusedly, feeling mixed-up. And she of course, didn't see when Nate slowly turned over his shoulder guiltily to look behind him. And she didn't see as Nate's eyes landed on his best friend, who sat in a plastic chair looking down at her feet.

* * *

**A/N: **Oops, sorry, 2 A/Ns in one chapter! I know you must hate these. But what did you think!? I wanted to thank you all for being so helpful to me while I was having temporary writer's block. All of your encouragement alone cured it in ONE day! Also, thank you to Nicole(GreenDemonAngel) & Disaster177 for giving me suggestions for the plot. I might not be able to incorporate them, but I appreciate them so much! They're both brill ideas.

Now 2 questions I want to ask you guys:  
1.) FF has officially made it possible for stories to be in 2 categories! But should I have this story in the CR section, or the WOWP section? Would you still read it either way?  
2.) I'm debating creating a "soundtrack" of sorts for this story. Would that be helpful/useful at all to you? Thanks to evershort for inspiring the idea!

**« ❤ »**


	15. What We Want to Believe

**Everything We've Known  
**_Chapter 15 – What We Want to Believe  
_

"C'mon Nate, I know you've noticed something different with her too," Mitchie said, putting her hands on her hips and raising her eyebrows.

"Well, I mean.." Nate mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck uncertainly. He was pretty sure Mitchie wasn't talking about the sparkle in Alex's eyes that Nate had just noticed in the mess hall. Had that just happened, or had it always been there? Had he never noticed?

No, Mitchie was talking about how she had been acting lately. The wrinkle in his forehead deepened as he tried to recall how she had been acting when he'd spent time with her during Camp. But now that he thought about it...he hadn't really been spending much time with her, had he?

"Nate!" Mitchie yelled, her face scrunching up into an expression of confusion and annoyance. "Are you even listening?"

"Sorry," Nate muttered. Had she really been talking? A few words had managed to enter into his conscience, such as 'Alex', 'disconnected', 'distant', and 'upset'. But the rest was just a blank--replaced by an image of Alex, a laugh on her lips as she had laughed at Shane that day. Alex...upset?

"I don't know what's wrong with me," he said, more as a thought which he had accidentally let slip from his mouth. The annoyance in Mitchie's eyes disappeared immediately, her facial features softening.

"I didn't mean to snap at you," she said softly, "I don't know what's wrong with me either." She looked up expectantly at him, and he gave her a weak little half-smile. It was the best he could muster up at the moment. Her mouth slowly drooped into a frown, and Nate reached forward hesitantly, wrapping his arms around her. They both needed that. She buried her head into his chest, and he let his chin rest on her shoulder as he rubbed her back comfortingly. But even with her in his arms, he felt almost empty. Suddenly everything that had seemed so simple only a week ago had become more complicated than he could imagine. The worst part was that he couldn't understand what had changed.

"I guess Alex acting strange is really throwing me off too," she said, "I'm just so used to her being all sarcastic and whatnot...but she's different now. Something changed Nate, I'm sure. Do you seriously think she's been acting like herself?" Her voice dropped to a whisper, and Nate realized that her annoyance had been caused by worry.

To be honest, Nate knew that Alex had changed. He couldn't deny that, really. But there was something about hearing it from Mitchie that made him want to disagree, made him want to shout at her. A part of him wished he could just yell out, '_Nothing is wrong with her! I've been making sure she's happy! She's FINE, she's the same as always!_' But he knew that wasn't true. He was only thinking that because _he_ was the one who was supposed to notice things about Alex. And for some reason, he felt the need to defend her.

'_From Mitchie?_' he asked himself, shaking his head. '_Why would I want to defend Alex from Mitchie?_'

No, that wasn't what he had meant. But for some reason, he was feeling possessive and resistant. He didn't want Alex to change. It wasn't that he hadn't noticed--he wasn't clueless. But he'd been denying it, because he didn't really want to accept it. He depended on Alex to always be there, stable and reliable. She'd been pretending that everything was all right, and he wanted to pretend that for her. It was like when they were younger, and Alex had still believed in Santa Clause for longer than any of the other kids. She'd been stubborn, and insistent. And even though Nate had stopped believing in Santa long before, and everyone had made fun of him and Alex, he'd gone along with it. He'd wanted to protect that reality for her. So he stood by her, equally stubbornly, saying he believed in Santa too. And now, he was doing the same thing, except it wasn't as easy as it was before. He didn't know how to shield her from the world anymore, like he used to. And in reality, he'd only ended up shielding the truth from himself.

He'd almost thought that if he'd ignored it with her, then it would all go back to normal. And though it shouldn't, it bothered him that Mitchie had seen through her disguise. Maybe it was just because he'd been protecting Alex for so long, but he felt it was _his_ duty to watch over her. He wanted to tell Mitchie that she was wrong, nothing could be different with Alex, because that would mean that he had done a bad job looking after her. But he couldn't dismiss it any longer. Somehow, Alex had changed before his very eyes.

"No," Nate mumbled, suddenly feeling guilty. "No, you're right. She's not acting like herself."

Mitchie was visibly relieved that he agreed with her, but Nate didn't seem to notice. "Well," she started, "Do you have any idea of what could be wrong, then?"

Nate bit back a groan, his head starting to hurt. That was the thing--he didn't _know_ what was wrong! And he was supposed to, he _should_ know. But he didn't even know where to start now. He felt helpless, and confused. Had he been denying it because he didn't want to deal with it at the moment? Had he ignored it because he had Mitchie now? Or worse, had he not even noticed because he was so caught up with having a girlfriend? Alex had said it herself...he hadn't been seeing much of her this summer. But that wasn't the way he had meant it to be, had it?

"I don't know," he managed, "I don't get it."

"Yeah, me neither," Mitchie sighed. Something was nagging at her, screaming for her to realize. In the back of her head, thoughts pounded to be released, but she pushed them away. She felt as if she already knew what was wrong with Alex, but she just couldn't put words to it.

"Maybe I should talk to her," Mitchie said, wringing her hands together.

"NO," Nate barked a little too quickly, his voice sounding harsh. "I mean, no, I'll talk to her," he said, rubbing at the back of his neck again. What was _wrong_ with him?

"Oh," Mitchie said, slightly taken aback, before nodding. "Yeah, you should talk to her. She trusts you," Mitchie said flatly, looking away. But there was no mistaking the bitter edge to her voice, and the wistful, dejected tone beneath it.

Nate opened his mouth to ask Mitchie what she meant by that, and then thought better of it. "I guess I'll go look for her then," Nate said carefully, catching Mitchie's eye. She was hurt too, that Alex wasn't opening up to her, and Nate could tell. She nodded, attempting a smile and making Nate sigh.

"Mitch, she's going to be okay," he whispered, impulsively pulling her into another hug. He wanted to believe his own words. She looked up at him for reassurance, still not trusting him completely. He frowned slightly, and then shook it off. There were a million thoughts flying through his head at once, and he wasn't moving quick enough to even grasp one. Instead, he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, feeling that was the right thing to do.

She smiled at him, and an identical, wooden smile appeared on his face. But emotion-wise, he kept drawing up a blank.

"I'll see you later," he promised, and turned to leave.

Mitchie nodded. "I'll probably be in the recording studio all day, if you need me."

He waved at Mitchie as he closed the door, letting out a huge sigh as soon as it clicked shut behind him. He couldn't think straight at all. What he really wanted was to just go back to his cabin and take a long nap. But it was Sunday, their day off, and if he wanted to really make Alex talk, today would be the day.

He massaged his temples roughly, trying to come up with a plan. But what was he supposed to say to Alex? '_Hi, I know I've barely talked to you at all the entire summer, but Mitchie and I think you're acting really strange, can you tell me why?_' He scoffed.

But the thing was, he didn't even know how to begin. He would just have to try, right? And if she didn't want to tell him, then so be it. He would just let her be, and hope that everything would work itself out. And then he could get that nap...he yawned as he trudged in the direction of Alex and Mitchie's cabin.

* * *

"Alex..?" Nate called, entering the cabin hesitantly. The lights were off, and at first glance, it seemed empty. Maybe she was off somewhere? A part of him felt relieved beyond measure--he didn't think he was ready to face her. But as he stepped inside, he noticed the lump under the covers of Alex's bed, and almost smiled.

He approached the bed, careful not to make a sound with his heavy footsteps. He knelt down at her bedside, looking over her. She had always slept on her side, curled up into a tiny ball, ever since she was young. Nate used to tease her for it after reading in a book that people who slept in that position were usually shy. She'd adamantly said this was untrue, and had tried to force herself to sleep on her back--always waking up in a ball yet again. Years later, he'd stumbled across an article which said that people who slept like Alex were "tough on the exterior, but sensitive at heart". He'd stopped teasing her after that, because that was exactly how Alex was. Shane had called her his 'Peanut Butter cup' for a few years, saying that she had a 'hard shell, with a soft and gooey center'. She'd pretended to hate it, but Nate noticed that she'd started to sign her notes jokingly--'Your Peanut Butter cup'.

He smiled to himself as he watched her eyelids flutter as she took in each breath, looking completely at peace. And yet, she looked more vulnerable than ever, and that protective side of him went up again, as usual. For some reason, she looked so small lying like that, her legs tucked up at her side, her fists clenched loosely. A strand of hair fell across her face, and his hand automatically reached for it, lifting it away. As he did so, his hand brushed gently across her cheek, surprisingly warm under his fingertips. He held his breath unconsciously, brushing the strand behind her ear.

"Hey Alex," he whispered, barely audible. Her body rose and fell in a comforting pattern, up and down.

"I-I know you can't hear me," he started, hesitating slightly. He almost laughed then, realizing the humor of the situation.

"And I don't know if something has changed. And it's my fault, that I haven't been seeing you lately."

He watched her carefully, almost regretfully. It _was_ his fault. He closed his eyes for a second, and then blinked. His eyes fell open on her face, really looking at her for the first time in a while. He fingered another strand of her hair, wondering when it had gotten so long. He still remembered her with her disastrous bowl cut from second grade, which had made her look more like a tomboy than ever. And then after that, when she'd tried to grow her bangs out, pushing them back with little plastic clips. His eyes ran over her flushed cheeks, making her look as if she was blushing. Her eyelids continued to flutter, her long eyelashes splayed out beneath. Something about it all struck him, in a way that almost hurt. An overwhelming number of feelings swirled in his head, the pit of his stomach, and somewhere he assumed might be his heart. But he couldn't decipher a single one.

When she was lying like this, it was easy to believe that she hadn't changed at all. It was what he wanted to believe, so much.

"I don't want you to change, Allie," he whispered, reaching for her clasped hands and slowly unfurling her fingers. That was one thing he knew. He needed her to be there for him. Was that selfish? She shifted in her sleep, her legs stretching out slightly and her hand suddenly clamping around his. He opened his mouth in surprise, looking down at her hand around his. She had such small hands, delicate and fragile looking. The opposite of her. He carefully laced his fingers through hers, his heart lurching as she latched on with alarming force.

"Allie," he said softly, "I miss you."

It was so quiet in the cabin, so...simple. There was nothing needed of him here, nothing expected. He could say whatever he wanted, or nothing at all.

"Maybe I'll come back when you're awake," he suggested, to no one at all. "Okay?"

He took one last look at her sleeping figure, and slowly rose from his kneeling position, trying to slide his fingers out of hers. But she held fast, her hand painfully tight around his. He tried to pry her fingers off of his, pulling his arm carefully away, but she rolled over violently, preventing this.

He chuckled. "I guess that's a 'no', huh?" he smiled, sitting down on the floor again. Her grip on him loosened as she relaxed, shrinking back towards the wall. For a second, he debated sliding up next to her, curling up into an identical ball and letting her share her warmth with him. Instead, he squeezed her hand reassuringly, letting her know he was there.

And so he sat, on the worn-down wooden floor of the cabin, his legs splayed beside him. His hand remained clenched in hers as his head drooped forward slowly, her face the last thing he saw before he fell into a light, easy sleep.

* * *

**A/N: **!!! :) Did you like it?? Oh, I hope so. I had major fun writing this one. It had both Mitchie-Nate interaction, which I wanted to show you guys more of, and..finally, _insight_ into that pretty little head of Nate's. I know things are still moving terribly slow, but I'm loving writing it! Sorry this one took me a little longer than usual. Please tell me what you think! ;)

Your reviews are fantastically astounding to me. They are..what makes me grin after a rough school day. What makes me want to squeal, and jump up and down like a little girl. So thank you. And lastly--I want to dedicate this chapter to Faith(8313)--your reviews have made day after day for me. Seriously, I can't thank you enough. I hope to do more of these dedications as we go on, so don't let me forget! :D

Oh, and thanks for all of your support/enthusiasm about the soundtrack! I'm currently compiling it, and cannot wait. But I thought you guys would want a chapter first, so here you go! Should I put the soundtrack as a chapter, or on my profile? Hmm, decisions, decisions. I love you all! _Lovelovelove, Cami_


	16. Losing Ourselves

**A/N: **Another chapter! :) This one has kind of a different spin to it in the beginning..I wanted to show you more of Alex's fears, I guess. Things are still moving slow, but I've got big plans, I promise. Also, this chapter is dedicated to Mollie (ma531419)! She's yet another one of the sweethearts I have to thank for their support_—_so thank you so much for being such a loyal reader/reviewer, Mollie! I've got to mention that the 3 girls I've dedicated to so far (williamswheelbarrel, faith8313, and ma531419) are all fantastic writers. So there's my shameless plug of the day_—_go check out their stuff, if you haven't already!

That being said, this time I'd like to give a quick mention to those of you who favorited this story! I've heard from many of you about your thoughts on the story, but others of you I haven't gotten a chance to see what you actually think of it! So if you're reading this and you have anything to say, please let me know! So thanks to you favoriting, and enjoy the chapter!

Fairy, Alyssa4Music4Life, Aspen. LaBeouf, Disaster177, GreenDemonAngel

Jeloph, Kazoodle, MrsKevinJonasx, NowIAmLeftx3, Savanvan, Stemi4ever, USCFan, Gab03

UtterlyRandom, Zialicious, aaddiiee, bluebubble112, cornpopboys10, evershort, faith8313, ilovethejb

ma531419, nalexlovexo, razzledazzle96, rbl4life92, x3OJDx3, xScribbles819, xoxNessaPrettyInPinkxox

xxHeadInTheStarsxx, xxlil-mizz-hannahxx, xxthatswhatyougetxx, xxxmiserybusiness023xx

* * *

**Everything We've Known  
**_Chapter 16 – Losing Ourselves  
_

_Alex was falling._

_And she was crying. Why, she didn't know. But she felt sure that something terrible had just happened. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, she couldn't remember it, and she didn't want to. But the vague recollection of something lingering was still there, lurking in the back of her memory. It hurt to even try to remember, so she didn't.  
_

_Instead, she flung her arms frantically around her, making immediate contact with the walls on all sides of her. Her fingers splayed out, trying to grasp on to something and slow her fall, but the stone walls were slippery, and slid out from beneath her fingertips with ease._

_She fell faster now, picking up speed. And yet there seemed to be no end. For a moment, she thought of 'Alice in Wonderland', and her trip down the rabbit hole. 'Alex in Wonderland', she mused to herself, kicking at the walls around her. She closed her eyes for a moment, and opened them again to realize that there was no difference between shut eyes and open eyes. How had she not noticed how dark it was in here?_

_Suddenly the walls which she had tried to hold on to were too close, encroaching and suffocating. Seconds before, she'd tried to grab them, and now she only wanted to push them away. And then fear had overcome her, spreading like wildfire throughout her veins and snowballing in size. She gasped for air, but it felt as though she was breathing darkness. Everything was black__—__never-ending, bottomless, hopeless__—__black. As she panicked, the need for air grew. But when she gulped in more of the air around her, she had a sudden mental image of her lungs, coated with an inky substance so like her invisible surroundings. And this caused a fresh wave of panic to kick in, restarting the cycle at a whole new level of intensity._

_She opened her mouth to scream, but she heard nothing. Perhaps her voice too, was black, and blended in with the walls. She clutched at her throat, needing to know that she was still there. That her body at least, remained intact, even if it was unseen. 'Please,' she thought to herself, 'Anybody, hear me, see me.'_

_And then, just as she had thought those words, she could see her hands. And then her feet. Her arms, her legs, they all slowly brightened and came into view. Relief replaced the panic, but for some reason she couldn't feel completely safe. That nagging memory was still tugging at her thoughts. But before she could dwell on it, she had landed with a thud into someone's arms.  
_

_"Nate?" she whispered, her voice returning as she turned to see a smiling little boy holding her against his chest. He nodded, flashing her a toothy grin. It was Nate__—but as a six-year-old. The painful memory was forgotten as she laughed at him and his childlike innocence._

_"Where are we?" she asked, still in his arms. She felt that he would surely know. But he simply smiled mischievously again, his eyes sparkling as if he had a secret. She gave him a blank look, and turned to look around her. Contrary to the beginning of all of this, everything was now blindingly white. She turned back to ask Nate something again, and then stared at him in surprise. Had something happened? She stared at him curiously, and noted that all of his teeth had now grown in. And his hair was curlier, and longer too. _

_"Wha__—" she began, but then she had blinked and he had changed again. Now he was taller, and his facial features were more defined. His curls were less unruly, and his posture less childish. She gaped at him and he shot up another few inches, his arms feeling more sturdy around her and his eyes looking wiser.  
_

_"Nate?" she repeated, and her voice came out shaky and uncertain. She hated the sound of it, the obvious fear that couldn't be hidden. He nodded at her, but he wasn't smiling anymore. And what was that in his eyes? Pity? There was a certain sorrow in them__—but it felt like sympathy, rather than regret._

_"Alex," he said, his tone curt and unfamiliar, "I don't need you anymore."_

_Alex blinked. "What?" Why was he bringing this up now? And why did he sound so...not like himself? "Can you just get us out of here first?"  
_

_"I don't think you get it, Alex." he said slowly, as if trying to explain. "I don't need you."_

_"Nate?" she whispered. What was he doing? It didn't even make sense. It wasn't him, it wasn't. She wanted to believe it, and she wanted the words to just fly over her head. But they didn't. They echoed in her mind, repeating themselves in his strange, terse voice.  
_

_"Yeah, Allie," he nodded. "It's me, Nate."_

_ The sound of her nickname in this cold stranger's voice, so full of pity, was enough to break her. She shook her head fiercely, but tears were beginning to well up in her eyes. "No," she breathed, "No, it's not you, Nate."_

_"Allie," he repeated, his tone almost condescending. He started to speak, but Alex screamed before he could._

_"NO!" she yelled, tears streaming down her eyes as she pushed at his chest, struggling to free herself from his arms. "Don't call me that, don't call me that, you're not Nate!" she continued to scream, kicking at him now, the tears falling freely. "STOP IT," she yelled, "Just stop, just let me go, I don't know you!"_

_"But Alex," he said softly, unemotionally, "You do know me. You need me."_

_"Stop it," Alex whispered breathlessly, "Please, stop saying that."_

_"I'm sorry," he said, his voice flat and unattached. Not sorry at all. "But I don't need you, Alex."_

_And then the words struck her like a dagger. And for a moment, there was a flash of the real Nate, the one she loved and needed so much in his eyes. The real Nate looked at her pleadingly, sorrowfully, and painstakingly. And then he was gone, shaking his head, and the arms around her had dropped to his sides as he let go._

_Alex was falling. _

_And she was crying. Why, she didn't know. But she felt sure that something terrible had just happened.  
_

_

* * *

_

"Please.." Alex whispered, "NO!"

"Alex?" Nate jolted awake at the sounds of Alex's whimpers, and then screams. She shook on the bed, tears rolling down her cheeks as squirmed, kicking and turning.

"Let me go, stop it, please.." she moaned, her breath coming out in gasps, "I don't know you!"

Nate was up in a flash, reaching for her shoulders as he held her still. She continued to clutch at his hand with a death-grip, her fingers tightening around his. But he squeezed back, wanting her to know that he was still here.

"Alex, I'm here." he said, holding her steady. "I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

Slowly, her heaving breaths quieted as tears continued to fall. "Nate?" she whispered, still not fully awake.

"Yeah," he hummed soothingly, "It's me, Allie. It was just a nightmare, just a bad dream."

"I thought_—_" she whispered, her voice laced with fear, "Oh God, I thought_—_"

"Shh, it's okay, Allie," he said, pulling her into a careful one-armed hug and whispering the words into her ear. "Everything is going to be okay."

Her eyes slowly opened and adjusted to the light, panic flooding her face for a split second before relaxing. "Nate," she repeated, "It's you."

He chuckled softly, sliding on to the bed beside her. "Yeah," he agreed, "It is me."

She snuggled closer to him, breathing in his familiar scent. This was Nate, it was him. She breathed a sigh of relief as she let herself calm down. She could be certain when it was him because of the safety she felt whenever she was around him. It was overwhelming, and inexplicable. But it was _him_.

Nate blinked in surprise as Alex slid easily into his arms, still partially asleep. His arms grew rigid against his sides, and he stared down at her, already closing her eyes. Slowly, he slid his arms around her waist, letting her relax against him. She made a soft humming noise of contentment as she inched closer, and Nate stiffened, unsure of what to do. He reached up to rub at her back uncertainly, and she curled up against him, fitting comfortably into his arms. He let out a silent sigh as he realized he had been holding his breath. He opened his mouth to speak, and then thought better of it, resting his chin on Alex's shoulder and burying his face in her hair as he hugged her.

"Nate?" Alex whispered into his shoulder.

"Hmm?" Nate hummed against her neck. Alex shivered slightly with the feeling of his lips in her hair and pulled away, her eyes widening as she gained consciousness and realized the position they were in.

"What..what are you doing in my cabin?" she asked confusedly, blushing a furious shade of red as she shrank back against the wall. The moment she did so, she regretted it_—_all she wanted was to be back in his arms, safe. But the flush across her cheeks spread quickly as she looked embarassedly away.

"Hey, you okay, Lex?" he asked, concernedly as he took his free hand and lifted her chin slightly, forcing Alex to look at him. "Don't worry, you were just sleeping."

"So..you just came in to watch me sleep?" she joked, her voice dripping with sarcasm and skepticism. Still, the joke wasn't as funny because in reality, she wished that were true.

"Sure, Allie." Nate chuckled, punching her lightly. "No, I just came in to see you and I was going to come back when you were awake, but you kind of.." he looked down at his hand, which was still tightly clutched in Alex's grip. "Well, I guess you didn't want me to leave."

"Oh!" Alex cried, her hand flying off Nate's as she realized she was still holding onto it fiercely. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," she stuttered, blushing even redder as she realized his fingers were changing colors due to the lack of circulation. Why did Nate have to make her such a fumbling, blushing mess? Everything had been so much easier when she didn't care. And why did her stupid sleeping self have to go and grab his hand?

"Relax, Lex!" Nate laughed easily, unfazed. "No biggie, you'll just be spoon-feeding me for a few days until I regain use of my hand."

Alex laughed, relieved. His jokes reassured her, made her feel like everything was back to normal between them. As long as he was joking, she could pretend that she wasn't feeling...other things for him. "Yes sir," she grinned, saluting him.

He grinned back, and then reached up towards Alex's face, making her heart skip a beat. In a surprisingly worried and caring gesture, he carefully pushed back her hair back out of her face, his hand brushing against her cheek and lingering there. Alex swallowed, meeting his eye with a thud of her heart and not wanting to be the first to break eye contact. He gazed at her as his hand ran through the ends of her hair gently, coming to a stop at the nape of her neck.

"So that was a pretty bad dream, huh?" he whispered, his breath warm and sweet on her cheeks. His face was too close for her to think straight, and she knew that if she were standing up, she'd probably be weak at the knees right now. She silently thanked God for the sturdy bunk beneath her, and willed herself not to blush again.

"Uh huh," she squeaked breathlessly, managing a feeble nod. She had a feeling the trying not to blush thing really wasn't working.

Nate didn't seem to notice the rush of heat to her cheeks, or her nerves. Instead, his brow furrowed in worry. "What was it about?"

"Well it was_—_" Alex paused, her mind drawing a blank. "I-I..can't remember.." she whispered, shivering, "But it was awful..I felt like..I lost something I thought..would always be there." she shuddered, remembering the empty feeling she couldn't quite name and suddenly realizing that she was crying again.

Nate had pulled her into another silent hug before she could stop him, and then she was in his arms, feeling a lot less hollow and alone. "You," he murmured into her ear, making her stiffen as his breath tickled the base of her neck.

"What?" she breathed, "Me?"

"Yeah," he nodded simply, still holding her. "That's why I'm in your cabin. Because I felt like..I lost something I thought would always be there. You."

"You..you felt like you lost me?" Alex whispered, her voice cracking. "Wh-what do you mean?"

"I just..I don't know. I feel like everything changed between us. And I want everything to stay the same..I just..want to spend time with you, I guess." he said sheepishly. He looked up at Alex guitily, as if asking for forgiveness.

"I..I want to spend time with you too." Alex mumbled, torn inside. Half of her wanted to jump up and down that he was here, that he had waited for her to wake up, that he noticed. But the other half realized that he wanted everything to stay the same. He never wanted them to be more than friends.

"Oh, good." Nate breathed, sounding actually relieved, as if he was scared Alex would turn him away. "I can't imagine what I would do without you, Lex."

Alex swallowed, looking away. She wanted to yell at him, she wanted to tell him everything. How dare he say that to her when that wasn't true at all? How dare he lie? She wanted to scream, tell him to stop that, tell him that it hurt every single time he told her something like that. Tears welled up in her eyes again, and she fiercely blinked them away, angry with herself. Nate stared at her, eyes wide.

"You think I'm stupid," Alex muttered, wiping away tears. "I'm a mess."

"ALEX," Nate yelled, throwing his hands up and glaring furiously at her. "How can you say that? How would you even _imagine _that I would think that, after what I just told you!?" Alex backed up in surprise and Nate let out a sigh, rubbing his temples.

"Alex," Nate repeated, gaining control of his voice. "I don't know how to get it across to you how _important_ you are to me. Can you just..stop thinking about everyone else for a second, and realize you've been losing yourself?"

'_I realize that, Nate,_' Alex thought bitterly, '_But I'm only losing myself because I'm losing you._'

Instead, she asked, "What am I supposed to do, Nate?"

His face crumpled as he looked at her, and it hurt him to see her so helpless. Suddenly he wasn't tired anymore, and he didn't want to leave her side. He bit his lip, and then looked up as he asked hopefully, "Nalex day?"

For a second, Alex stared skeptically at him, and he felt sure that she would say no. But then the childish grin he loved so much spread across her face. "You mean it?" she asked, beaming.

"Of course I mean it!" he laughed, hugging her again, so glad to see her smiling again. He felt like he'd been without her for so long that he'd forgotten what she'd even been like before. When had that happened?

"It'll be just like the old days," he said contentedly, smiling at her. They'd invented the term years ago, when it had felt like they'd had all the time in the world to spend together. The first Nalex day was the day after Alex's parents had gotten divorced. She'd run to his house in tears, and she didn't need to say anything. Nate had known, then. A Nalex day meant that whenever one of them was feeling down, the other was to drop everything and they could just forget about their problems together. It meant they could focus on just the two of them, and that moment.

And even though Nate had been the one to ask for it, the truth was, Alex was the one who needed it.

* * *

"Vanilla!" Nate cried, and Alex rolled her eyes.

"Your hand is _not_ still sore!"

"Maybe not," he grinned, "But you promised!"

Alex grumbled as she relented, scooping up an extra large spoonful of vanilla ice cream from the three-flavored tub they had swiped from the kitchens.

"Open wide!" she teased, directing the spoon into his mouth and laughing as his lips closed down over the utensil.

"Mmmmmm," he hummed, "Creamy goodness."

"Not as good as chocolate," Alex mused, yanking the spoon out of his mouth and digging it into the tub again to get a spoonful of chocolate for herself.

"Ow!" Nate yelped, rubbing at his lips where Alex had tugged the spoon harshly. He pouted, earning a smirk from Alex. "Vanilla and strawberry beat chocolate _any_ day!" Nate said, opening his mouth again for another spoonful.

"Vanilla and _strawberry_?" Alex made a face. "Those are a little _feminine_, don't you think?"

"How can ice cream flavors be _feminine_? It's _ice cream_!"

"I'm just saying, out of all the macho flavors like Rocky Road, Superman, even Mint Chocolate Chip, you choose _Vanilla _and _Strawberry_?" she laughed.

"They taste good!" he whined, motioning at his still-open mouth, signaling for another scoop.

Alex rolled her eyes yet again as she giggled and pushed another spoon of vanilla down his throat.

"So what's new with you?" she asked as he swallowed and she went for another mouthful of chocolate.

"Hmm.." he thought, putting his hand on his chin thoughtfully. "Well, you know the dance is coming up, so_—_"

"Dance?" Alex interrupted, the spoon stopping halfway to her mouth.

"Yeah Lex, you know, the First Annual Camp Rock Jammin' Dance that Brown can't stop talking about?"

Alex shook her head, trying to recall hearing any such thing. Nope, nothing.

"Jeez Als, where have you been?" Nate muttered, chuckling. "Seriously, all the girls have been squealing about it for weeks!"

Alex shrugged. She didn't care much for dances anyways. And what was she supposed to tell him, that she probably hadn't heard because she was too busy thinking about him?

"Well anyways," he continued, "I think I'll ask Mitchie."

"Oh," Alex nodded, her throat suddenly gone dry. "Yeah, of course." He should ask her, obviously. She was his girlfriend. But for some reason, Alex had forgotten for a few hours as she sat with Nate in her cabin, not thinking about the rest of the world. It felt like being shaken awake. A rude reality check.

"Alex?" Nate looked at her strangely, watching her immediate change in behavior. Had he said something wrong?

"Yeah?" she responded, a little too perkily. Nate gave her a look, and she sighed, knowing he saw through her act. She bit her lip, and then looked back up at him.

"Do_—_do you love her?" she whispered, staring at the floor. The second the words were out of her mouth, she didn't want to know the answer anymore.

"Wha..what?" Nate stuttered, caught off guard. "I.." he began, and then he met Alex's eyes. Had he ever thought about it himself? Did he love Mitchie?

Yes, he thought resignedly, he did. But did he love her like that? Did he love her as more than a friend? It was true that she made him happy. And he wanted her to be happy too. Wasn't that all that mattered? But here Alex was, looking at him so earnestly. And suddenly he was second-guessing himself, questioning what he felt. What was it about hearing that question from Alex that made him want to answer the question correctly? And was there a correct answer?

"I..I don't know." he whispered without thinking, and then he knew that was true. If it had been anyone other than Alex to ask him that, he would have said yes without hesitation. He'd never doubted that before this moment. The way that Mitchie smiled made him want to smile too, the way that she looked at him made him feel so needed. But..wasn't that true with Alex, too?

Wait. What was that he had just thought? Why would he compare Mitchie and Alex? They meant..completely different things to him, didn't they? Slowly, he looked up at Alex uncertainly. He wanted so badly to know that he had said the right thing. But her face showed nothing, no approval and yet no disappointment.

"It's okay," she said, her voice steady and sure for the first time in a while. "I know she's your best friend, so it had to be hard realizing for the first time you might have feelings for her."

For some reason, Nate's heart skipped a beat at her words. The sun was setting now, and a soft pink light flooded the cabin, casting an ethereal glow over Alex's face. Something about the geniune care in her eyes made his breath hitch in his throat. "Yeah," he breathed. "Exactly."

The thing was, he wasn't sure if he and Alex were talking about the same people.

* * *

**A/N: **Kill me now for doing 2 author's notes again, but I couldn't help myself. This was my favorite chapter to write so far (and the longest!), just because there were a lot of styles I could play around with. And I know that you all probably want to strangle me for making this go _so_ slowly, but I DO have something planned. Please trust me on this one! ;)

To those of you who have been making _amazing_ suggestions for the story_—_I can't thank you enough. I took a lot of them into consideration, and I definitely will incorporate a few of them in later chapters. Thank you so much, again! The dream sequence was partly inspired by USCFan, although I used it a little differently_—_your idea was brill, but unfortunately it didn't quite fit with the plot I've got planned ahead. So I just used your idea for making Alex have some sort of dream. :) Oh, and the conversations a few people have requested between characters are coming later! Lastly_—_the soundtrack is STILL in the works. I'm so sorry to make you wait! I know it's been a while, but for some reason it's harder than writing chapters!

Review and you'll get a giant virtual hug from me! **« ❤ » **_Cami_


	17. Hand Clapping, Hip Shaking

**Everything We've Known  
**_Official Soundtrack_

* * *

**Disclaimer: **As much as I wish I could truthfully say that I own these songs, that is not the case. The closest I'll ever get to owning them is giving them a nice, comfortable home in my iPod. :( These belong to the artists who so brilliantly created them. Which I am ever so grateful for. :)

_

* * *

_

**A/N: **Hey chicas, (any chicos in the house? If so, I'm terribly sorry to ignore you. You're my hero for reading this. :D) the moment you've been waiting for (or not!)...here is the official soundtrack for _Everything We've Known_! :) It was awfully difficult to narrow it down to these 27 songs...I would put 100+ if I could. But that would be quite a long soundtrack, don'tcha think? Haha.

So just a quick explanation: These following songs were not put in order with their respective chapter numbers in mind. I learned that I'm horrendous at this. I had enough trouble compiling this rough list, so I decided to not make it that specific. That being said, you are free to listen to these songs in any order along with the story, or not with the story at all. I'm just giving you a simple range of songs that I believe kind of set the tone for this story. For some, it was the lyrics that I really felt fit--for others, it was the music that just really matched the mood. I'd love any comments, and it would be great to know if this actually helped you! I tried to do a mix of semi-popular songs and not-too-well-known songs. :) And I had to slip in a JB song...oops! I restrained myself and only let myself pick TWO John Mayer songs--otherwise it would have been a strictly Mayer playlist. Seriously. With a voice like his, what situation _don't_ his songs apply to? ;)

You might notice a couple of repeat artists. I couldn't help it! Some of them just fit this story perfectly. Or in my mind, anyway! This is JUST MY opinion. A lot of these songs are...almost heartbreaing for me to listen to. Others are way cheesy (as in sappy-sappy dreamy love times 10), and some seem even random, hah! I understand that all of us are going to have different takes on this story, and that's fantastic. For the most part, I love all of these songs. Let me know what you think of this list, & I hope you like the lyrical snippets!

* * *

**1. Everything's Right - Matt Wertz**

_windows down as the night blows in,  
tap the beat on the wheel as the tires spin_

**2. Feelings Show - Colbie Caillat**

_he told me he'd wait here patiently but  
i wonder if he's kidding_

**3. Strong Enough - Kina Grannis**

_i've got a heart beating patiently along  
waiting for the other half of its song_

**4. Always Getting Over You - Angela Ammons**

_you could never see it through my eyes  
and i'm too tired to try_

**5. The Little Things - Colbie Callait**

_my feet have broke free and i'm leaving  
i'm not gonna stand here, feeling lonely_

**6. Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy**

_i'm trying not to think about you,  
can't you just let me be?_

**7. Next to You - Jordin Sparks**

_maybe we're friends, maybe we're more  
maybe it's just my imagination_

**8. Collide - Howie Day**

_i'm quiet you know, you make a first impression  
i found i'm scared to know i'm always on your mind_

**9. We All Need Saving - Jon McLaughlin**

_this isn't real, it's just all you can feel  
and that's the way that feelings go_

**10. The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore - James Morrison**

_watching us fading and watching it all fall apart_  
_well i can't explain why it's not enough, 'cause i gave it all to you_

**11. Boys With Girlfriends - Meiko**

_you play the victim and i'll be the bad guy  
i know better than that, i know better_

**12. When You Look Me In The Eyes - Jonas Brothers**

_dreams can't take the place of loving you  
there's gotta be a million reasons why it's true_

**13. You and Me - Lifehouse**

_what day is it, and in what month? this clock never seemed so alive  
i can't keep up and i can't back down, i've been losing so much time_

**14. Falling in Love in a Coffeeshop - Landon Pigg**

_yes there's a chance that i've fallen quite hard over you  
i've seen the paths that your eyes wander down, i wanna come too_

**15. Sweet Goodbyes - Krezip**

_can't sleep, 'cause everything's changing, you don't want to leave things behind  
can't breathe, there's too many things going on, going wrong in your life_

**16. Smack Into You - Jon McLaughlin**

_and love is right in my path, right in my grasp  
and me and you...belong_

**17. Crazier - Taylor Swift**

_'til you opened the door, there's so much more  
i'd never seen it before_

**18. Because You Live - Jesse McCartney**

_staring out at the rain with her heavy heart  
it's the end of the world in her mind_

**19. Slow Dancing in a Burning Room - John Mayer**

_nobody's gonna come and save you,  
we've pulled too many false-alarms_

**20. We Might As Well Be Strangers - Keane**

_i don't know your face no more,  
it's just a place i'm looking for_

**21. Believe in Me - Demi Lovato**

_don't know where to turn, i've been stuck in this routine  
i need to change my ways, instead of always being weak_

**22. The Boy's Gone - Jason Mraz**

_and what will happen to her face in the crowd  
when it finally gets too crowded?_

**23. Reasons to Love You - Meiko**

_give me a reason to make me smile  
'cause i think i forgot how_

**24. Unbelievable - Craig David**

_always said i would know where to find love  
always thought i'd be ready, strong enough_

**25. You Make it Real - James Morrison**

_i'm not sure 'bout my priorities  
i've lost sight of where i'm meant to be_

**26. Dreaming With a Broken Heart - John Mayer**

_when you're dreaming with a broken heart  
waking up's the hardest part_

**27. You Picked Me - A Fine Frenzy**

_four five six, the two of us, a perfect fit_  
_you're all mine, all mine_

* * *

Special Thanks & Honorable Mentions to:

Two new readers **Als** (fellow songwriter & Nalex lover!) and **ride2night** (fellow Dr. Seuss quoter & all-around sweetheart :P), thanks so much for checking out this story, your incredibly sweet PMs and reviews. You have both made my day a few times already, and you've only just started reading! ;) It's for people like you that I continue to write! And that goes to everyone who has reviewed, read, favorited, alerted, etc. I just wanted to single these two people out really quick--but ALL of you are fantastic, and I can't thank any of you enough.

And to **evershort**, who inspired the idea of the soundtrack by mentioning the song 'When I'm With You' by Faber Drive. So that's my BONUS track of the day. Check that out too!

Finally, thanks to everyone who was so enthusiastic about this soundtrack, and this story in general! I literally want to list every single person who has ever said something nice to me since I've started writing--but that would take pages. That's how sweet you guys are. ;P I don't mean to sound like a dork...but I can't help it! _xoxo, Cami_

P.S. **ALMOST 300 REVIEWS!? **o.O _Can you do it..!? _I have faith. Although I may not deserve what reviews I get on this chapter, they'll still be greatly appreciated! ;)  
P.P.S. Recognize the title of this chapter? As you can see...I had a lot of fun with the "lyrical snippets" thing.


	18. Second Best

**A/N: **THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed the soundtrack! I hope it could be of help to you, & you can listen to a few of the songs while reading! I regret not putting a few other songs on it, hence the 'Song of the Chapter'. If you're reading this but didn't get a chance to review the soundtrack, I would love if you did that now! I want to get everyone's input on it! (Puppy dog pout? :D)

Also, I want to apologize for the terribly written last chapter. I know the last sentence was confusing, but I wanted it to be a subtle hint at Nate's feelings..if you have questions, feel free to PM me! Now off to Nalex Land! I made the beginning a bit more light-hearted, but it ends on a...yet again, heavier note. Enjoy, and I would love if you reviewed! ;)

Also—_williamswheelbarrel_ gave me the idea of introducing a song per chapter—& I thought I'd try. Thanks Katie, hope you like! Fantastic song—I'm sad I forgot Coldplay on the soundtrack!

* * *

**Song of the Chapter: **_The Scientist_ - Coldplay

* * *

**Everything We've Known  
**_Chapter 18 _— _Second Best _

Nate collapsed on Alex's bed, laughing uncontrollably. His breath came out in spurts as he clutched at his stomach, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

"You..did..WHAT!?" he managed in between laughs, almost choking on his words as he continued to roll over on the bed, still shaking with laughter.

"So not funny, Nate!" Alex cried, tossing her pillow in his direction as she pushed Nate over so she could join him on the bed. "I was seven, okay!? See, this is why I didn't tell you about it then!"

"Aww," Nate crooned, grinning at Alex. "You should have told me, you can trust me, I'm your best friend!"

"Obviously not," Alex rolled her eyes, crossing her arms defensively. "Aren't you supposed to get _more_ mature as you get older?"

"Come on Lex, you have to admit it's funny." he chuckled, sliding closer to her. "You know I'm kidding, Allie!" he wheedled, trying to get Alex to look at him.

"What is so funny about me giving a boy a valentine?" she cried, still refusing to meet Nate's eyes, even though she felt like laughing herself.

"Well—coming from the little girl who declared that she would never like a boy romantically, EVER—it's kind of funny, don'tcha think? Plus, I mean—" he paused to let out another burst of laughter that ended up sounding like a snort—"It was...JASON!" he blurted, falling over in a fit of laughter all over again.

"Oh shut up," Alex muttered, reaching out to smack Nate on the shoulder. "I was SEVEN, Nate! And he was the only boy I knew who wasn't constantly _teasing_ me all the time—" she coughed accusingly—"unlike _you _and _Shane_!"

Nate grinned. "It was only because we love you, Als! Teasing is a form of affection, you know?"

"Well you sure had a funny way of showing it," Alex grumbled, turning away again.

"What was I supposed to do!?" Nate yelped, "Seven year old boys aren't supposed to go around proclaiming their love for girls!"

Alex giggled. A mental image of Nate in a tiny tux complete with a shiny red bow tie, holding roses and a giant red valentine filled her brain, making her grin. She would have probably fallen in love with him years before if he'd done that.

"Okay, I get it. But I'm just saying, Jason was always sweet to me, and considerate!"

"Booooring," Nate yawned, a teasing smirk spreading across his face. "So what did the valentine look like?" His eyes lit up mischievously, knowing he was torturing Alex.

"I hate you." Alex deadpanned, issuing another cocky grin from Nate.

"That's what you think!" he sang, throwing his arm around her. "I bet it was a big, lacy heart, with a bunch of x's and o's at the bottom, am I right?"

Alex blushed. "No, it was not!" she insisted. Nate smiled knowingly and she just shook her head angrily, not knowing whether to yank his arm off her shoulders or snuggle closer to him. She settled for something in the middle, scooting slightly further away from him but leaving his arm loosely dangling around her.

God, he smelled good. And why did he have to be so…gosh darn attractive? It was his fault for making her fall for him. Maybe if he hadn't been so freaking good-looking, she wouldn't have ended up going for a dork like him. But the fact of the matter was that she would have probably found a reason to love him anyway. That was the sad truth.

"Where's the ice cream?" Nate asked casually, peering over the edge of the bed. He emerged with a spoon and the remains of the ice cream with a giant, childlike grin on his face.

"Found it!" he cried, shoving his spoon into the tub. "I'm guessing you won't feed me anymore after all that teasing, huh?"

Alex shot him a glare, trying to look as angry as possible. It was hard, when she was dealing with a face like his.

He chuckled and proceeded to devour the mostly melted ice cream by himself, rubbing his stomach in content. "You don't want any?" he offered, looking up at Alex with a vanilla ice cream mustache. Alex couldn't help but giggle, shaking her head as Nate gave her a look and then continued to eat away. Or...drink, considering the state of the ice cream.

Alex crossed her arms defiantly again, making an effort to keep up her angry act. Stupid vanilla ice cream mustache.

"Aw, you're not still mad, are you Allie?" he asked, shooting her a perfect puppy dog pout as his eyes sparkled in a smile.

She turned her chin up, not responding. That would teach him for teasing her. What was wrong with her liking Jason? He had been a really cute little boy!

"How can you stay mad at this face?" Nate teased, motioning up at himself. Alex forced herself not to look, knowing that she really couldn't stay mad at his face. Nonetheless, she felt a tiny smile start to creep it's way onto her lips, and she willed herself not to laugh.

"Come on," he pressed, "I thought you liked Jason anyway. I probably just didn't want to admit it to myself because _I_ was supposed to get married to you, remember?"

Alex turned away, trying to hide the smile that was now spreading across her face.

"I seeeee you," Nate sang, "You're smiiiling!" He grinned, reaching out for Alex and wiggling his fingers as if about to tickle her.

Alex shrunk back, letting out a shriek before he had even touched her. "No tickling!" she cried, jumping up into a standing position on her bed and hitting her head against the wall.

"Ow!" she yelped, starting to laugh as she clutched at her head. Nate fell over on the bed, starting to laugh too. Then all of a sudden, he grabbed his head as well, letting out an identical "Ow!".

"Brain freeze!" he groaned, "Call 911, S.O.S., help me!"

"Karma," Alex offered, before bursting into song. "Ooh, this is an S.O.S., don't wanna second guess, this is the bottom line, it's TRUUUUE!" Alex belted, using her spoon as a makeshift microphone.

"Aaalex!" Nate whined, "Friend in dire need over here!"

"Why should I help you?" Alex grinned, milking the situation. "After all, you couldn't stop teasing me about liking Jason..."

"I take it back! I told you, I think it's adorable! He would have totally gone for you if you were...a little older! Because you were totally the cutest little girl any of us knew, Lex! Forgive me?" he asked, looking sheepishly back up at her, still clutching his head. Alex laughed, sitting back down on the bed.

"I can't resist the puppy dog pout," she smiled, rolling her eyes. "C'mere,"

Nate grinned, sliding over towards Alex. She took him easily into a hug, and then found herself leaning against the wall so he could rest her head on her stomach. He settled down against her, closing his eyes and smiling softly. Alex ran her fingers through his curls absentmindedly, cupping his forehead in her hands.

"I think this is the weirdest Nalex day we've had yet," Nate said, chuckling with his eyes still closed. Alex thought for a moment, and then nodded in agreement. Usually the day was spent comforting the other person from some troubles, rather than just goofing around and having a good time. But she liked this too.

A simple silence fell over the cabin as they sat there, and Alex instantly regretted it. Silence meant room for her to think. And once she got to thinking, she started to get confused and angry all over again. All of it hurt, if she thought about it. Especially now, when everything was going back to normal and she really felt like she could joke around with him like she used to. It hurt more, knowing that it wouldn't ever be more than that. She hated herself for lying. And she hated herself for not being a better friend to Mitchie and Nate. She hated herself for loving him, and she hated him for letting it happen.

And yet at the same time, she was so happy. She hadn't felt this excited, this _normal_ in a long time. And she knew it was all because of him—the easy, childish-joy effect he had on her. She wanted to dance, and hug him over and over, and jump around the cabin in excitement. For the first time in a while, she let her guard down with him, and let herself be the bubbly self she usually was. But she knew that every moment spent with him was like asking for trouble. She was the one making a mess of things now. But she didn't know what else to do—she wanted to be his friend, she needed to. And she didn't want things to change between them. But they'd always been so comfortable around each other, to the point of flirtatiousness. And Alex was just letting herself fall into this trap where she was continuously led on by Nate—even though he didn't mean to do it. That was the worst part. It didn't mean anything to him.

She let out a tiny sigh. Why did she always do this? First, she'd been completely miserable for weeks. And now that she was finally starting to be happy, she had to go and start _thinking_ about things too much, so she couldn't even enjoy herself.

Slowly, Nate's eyes opened and landed on hers. He brightened a little, smiling up at her.

"Alex?"

She hummed in response, still tugging gently at his curls. "Yeah?"

He blinked, and then shook his head, still smiling. "Never mind."

"Hey!" Alex cried, jerking upright. "Tell me!"

Nate laughed at her response. "I forgot," he smiled sheepishly, his eyes twinkling.

"You did not!"

"I really did!" he insisted.

"You're a dork," Alex informed him, jabbing him in the stomach. "And a liar."

"But I'm _your_ dork," he grinned, knowing full well the cheesiness of his sentence, "And _your_ liar!"

"Quit practicing your pick-up lines on me, Nate." she laughed. "Feeling better yet?"

"A little," Nate smiled. "Thanks, Allie."

Alex smiled back and leaned over to give him a light kiss on the forehead. He blushed as he sat up, beaming.

"I think I'm all better," he grinned abashedly. "But you know, my _lips_ are kind of cold from all the ice cream too…" he winked as Alex laughed and chucked her pillow at his face yet again.

"Pervert," she muttered, stifling a giggle. He laughed contentedly, ignoring her comment.

"Hey, Allie, I almost forgot you hit your head!" he said worriedly, sitting up. "You okay?"

Alex laughed. "Thanks Nate, glad I mean so much to you." she said sarcastically, rubbing at the back of her head slowly and wincing. "Yeah, it'll be fine."

Nate sighed, his mouth drooping. "You're such a loser, Alex." he murmured, motioning her to sit up. Alex stared at him confusedly before sitting up from the wall slowly. He laughed and reached out to her, saying, "Relax, Allie, I'm not going to hurt you."

"Wouldn't surprise me," Alex muttered, letting Nate take her hand and pull her slowly so that they had switched places, leaving Nate leaning against the wall and Alex lying on his chest.

She blinked in shock as she stiffened against him, her heart thudding. Slowly, she let herself relax, feeling the steady up and down motion of his chest. Why were guys always so warm? Not that she was complaining…it just seemed unfair. The thud of her heart quieted a little as she focused on the calming sound of his breathing. Her hand was still in his, dangling loosely at their sides. Nate started to hum under his breath, strangely comforting to Alex.

"_Come up to meet you…tell you I'm sorry, you don't know how lovely you are…_"

Alex closed her eyes, matching her breathing to Nate's. Their chests rose up together, filling the quiet between them. She remembered that when they were younger, whenever Alex's parents were fighting at home, she would sneak out of the window and go to Nate's house. They had a secret code they used to knock on each other's windows, and Nate would always slide open the window with no questions asked. Sometimes they didn't talk about it all. But that was the only place she let herself cry, and the only person she let see her cry. Because he didn't ask, and he didn't need words to comfort her. She'd close her eyes and curl up against him, falling asleep with his voice as her lullaby. She used to beg him to sing to her all the time, but the only time he would was when she really needed it.

"_I had to find you, tell you I need you, tell you I set you apart…Tell me your secrets…ask me your questions, let's go back to the start…_"

Alex opened her eyes, suddenly feeling like she might cry. She wished it were that easy, to just go back to the start. Oh God, how she wished…but the thing was, even if she could take it all back, start all over…would she change anything?

"No," she whispered out loud, and Nate stopped singing. Her hand slid out of his, and she brought it up to her mouth, not meaning to have said it.

"Lex?" Nate whispered, and she slowly turned, craning her neck to look up at him. She forced herself to blink back tears, something forming at the back of her throat. "You okay?"

She nodded. She was okay. "Just thinking, I guess." she said softly, and Nate chuckled.

"That's a first, Miss Russo," he teased, and Alex laughed.

"I knew that was coming," she said lightly, too lazy to defend herself. Nate laughed and nodded, and the silence descended over them again. It was a comfortable silence though, an easy one.

So she'd established that she wouldn't take anything back. No, this was where she was supposed to be, right in Nate's arms in an empty cabin at Camp Rock. But what did that leave her with? He had a _girlfriend_. Who also happened to be her _best friend_. It just didn't add up to a nice equation. And to top it all off, Alex had never been very good at math. It all summed out to a confused Alex, with no idea of what was right and wrong. She knew what she wanted. She thought she knew what she needed, too. But it wasn't just a simple matter of addition. There were so many factors that she couldn't even wrap her head around. And what if…what if she didn't get what she wanted? What if she didn't even get what she needed? What then?

Alex let out the tiniest of sighs, and Nate shifted. She waited for him to say something again, but nothing came. Instead, she felt his lips on her head, pressing themselves gently in her hair. He genuinely cared, she knew that. But she wished he didn't. He pulled away carefully, and started to sit up, pulling Alex up with him.

"All better?" he asked softly, and Alex nodded.

Slowly, he stood up. "C'mon," he said, extending out his hand to Alex. "Let's go."

"Where are we going?" Alex asked, looking at him uncertainly.

He shrugged. "I don't know yet," he said simply, and Alex nodded, taking his hand. He closed his hand around hers gently, and she stood up beside him.

The two of them slipped out of the cabin, hand in hand. Alex let out a gasp as the door opened, revealing the summer sky. The clouds floated lazily above the lake, effortlessly gliding along in a pinkish purple haze. The sun looked like it was melting over the water, an oozing ball of fiery orange.

Nate squeezed Alex's hand as she continued to gape out at the water.

"Guess Nalex day is coming to a close, huh?" he murmured, and Alex nodded, her heart sinking. Tomorrow everything would go back to the way it had been those two miserable weeks before. It wasn't anybody's fault. She almost wished she had someone to blame it on, but she couldn't. Only herself, for pushing herself deeper into this mess. It was all self-inflicted pain, when tomorrow Nate and Mitchie would go back to acting like boyfriend and girlfriend in front of her. And she knew it all too well. She just didn't know how to control herself.

They had somehow made their way down to the dock again, still staring out at the water. Alex felt as though she could reach out and touch the sun in all of its heat. Someone laughed in the distance, and Alex smiled. Everything was so…peaceful. Nate turned to look at her, his lips crinkling up at the corners. It was those details, the small little things that she loved most about him. She felt like she should say something, but she didn't know what would fit. So she didn't say anything, until they heard a voice cut through the silence from behind them.

"Nate, Alex?"

They turned together as Mitchie stepped out into the clearing.

"I knew I would find you guys here," she smiled, and then stepped forward. She stopped as she looked at Nate and Alex's intertwined hands, blinking. "Oh," she said, "Am I—"

Nate slid his hand out of Alex's, and her hand fell against her side. Alex bit down on her lip, looking at her feet. Was it wrong that it broke her heart to feel his hand slip away from hers?

"Mitchie," Nate said, smiling. Alex could hear it in his voice, the way the word lilted up at the end. Mitchie smiled back uneasily, stepping forward. She felt like she was intruding on something, and it made her uncomfortable. No matter how hard she tried, she wasn't ever going to be as close to Nate as Alex was. Even when she was his girlfriend. She didn't understand why Alex was acting like this, but it broke her. And Mitchie didn't know what to do. She wanted to grab Alex into a hug and never let go. But something else in her wanted to scream at her to get away from Nate. Why couldn't Alex just be happy for her, for once? The one time that Mitchie felt important, and loved. She'd never had anyone like Nate before. Couldn't Alex see that?

"I..I can go," she whispered, her voice unsteady. She wanted to. She didn't fit in here. She couldn't compare to Alex.

"What? No, Mitch," Nate said, almost exasperatedly. She backed away, willing herself not to cry. That tone in his voice hurt her. She wanted him to reassure her, tell her that he need her, loved her more. Not to be exasperated with her. Her head drooped as she looked away.

"Come here, Mitchie," Nate murmured, realizing what he had done. He sighed, not meaning to have hurt her. Why couldn't he get anything right? Slowly, he opened his arms as Mitchie stepped forward and slid into them. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, needing to let her know how important she was. She was so similar to Alex, and yet so different. Mitchie was openly vulnerable, you could read it in her every move. She needed Nate's protection. And she paid attention to the smallest things. She was always worried that she had done something wrong, and she needed him to tell her everything would be alright. Alex, on the other hand, didn't let anyone see her breaking. She did it silently, quietly where nobody could see her. But she broke harder than Mitchie, into more pieces. Shattered. She didn't need the same kind of protection as Mitchie—she just needed someone to be there. How could he fix both of them? He tightened his grip on Mitchie, whispering reassurances into her ear.

And just like that, the situation had flipped. Now Alex was left feeling hollow, second best. And so she took one last glance at Nate and Mitchie before she stepped away. She saw the differences between Mitchie and herself as well. She was strong. She could handle it. But Mitchie did need him, and right now, Alex was the one ruining the moment. She was tired, exhausted of this mental battle she was fighting. She still hadn't reached the conclusion.

'_Maybe nothing was ever meant to happen'_, she thought as she trudged up the hill back to her cabin. '_Maybe I'm the one who will learn to live without him._'

* * *

"Alex?"

Alex stirred as the lights came on in the cabin. She rolled over tiredly from her sleeping position to see Mitchie entering the cabin. She sent her an exhausted smile, but a genuine one. Mitchie smiled back guiltily, tugging at her sleeves.

"Listen, Alex. I'm sorry if I was...interrupting something, earlier. I feel so...stupid."

Alex shook her head. "Don't worry about it, Mitch." She meant it. All the fight had gone out of her.

"No, I'm sorry. I really am. I just...I don't know. I guess I just get scared sometimes, you know?" she paused before continuing again. "I never thought I would ever be good enough for someone like Nate Gray. I still don't think I am. I just get worried."

Alex frowned, and Mitchie laughed uneasily.

"I'm being dumb, I know." she said, her voice dropping to a whisper. "But you're both just so close. And I know you guys are best friends. I mean, we all are, but you're even closer. And I don't want anything to mess things up. So it really was my fault, I'm sorry Lex. Forgive me?"

Alex blinked, surprised. That was unexpected. Forgive her? She had been bracing herself for Mitchie to get mad at her. And now...this?

"Of course, Mitch. I was never mad, anyways. You're my best friend too, you know that."

Mitchie smiled. "Yeah," she said, walking over towards her bed and switching off the lights. Moonlight flooded the cabin, casting a glow over the room.

"So...you guys talked, and had a good time, right?" Alex asked. She bit her lip in the dark. She almost wanted Mitchie to get mad at her. She would deserve that. Anything but this. Asking for forgiveness? Why didn't Mitchie hate her? It would certainly make a few things easier for Alex. Such as this guilt she felt settling over her now. But she knew that she wouldn't be able to handle Mitchie hating her at the moment, no matter how much better she would feel.

"Definitely." Mitchie murmured, yawning as she climbed into her bed. "Like I said, I feel stupid for ever doubting...him. It just feels like sometimes he's so far out of my grasp, you know? He's so...perfect. That's the only word I can even think of to begin describing him. It's not perfect without flaws, but perfect in a way that almost scares me. And I...I just don't want to lose him. I can't imagine it. I know that sounds so cliché, but...I'm just so scared of losing him."

Alex closed her eyes. In that moment, she understood Mitchie more than she had for the entire summer. Mitchie didn't just deserve him. She needed him, too. Yes, they were different. Mitchie was so innocent, so seemingly carefree. Alex had always thought that she was happy with what she had. But now she knew that Mitchie had never understood what it felt like to be center stage. To be the leading role, to be the most important person in someone else's life. Alex, on the other hand, didn't care about this. She didn't want to be center stage in someone else's life. She wanted someone to play a role in hers.

Mitchie was open. Refreshingly out there, and readable. It was Alex's favorite thing about her. She was timid, but when she wanted something, she would go out and get it. Alex kept up barriers. Locked doors, built walls. It was hard to get through to her, and she hated herself for it. But only a few years ago, she'd realized at Camp Rock for the first time why she did it. She did it so that one day, someone might care enough to break them down, break through to her.

Yes, they were different. They were opposites in the way they went about things. Mitchie took the straightest route, but she wasn't afraid to stop on the way. Alex was always so sure that her way would get her to her destination—but she got lost, took wrong paths. But in the end, they wanted the same things. All they needed was someone to care, to protect them, to fight for them.

And in the darkened cabin, Alex realized that once the lights went off and everything was quiet—in some ways, they were exactly the same.

* * *

**A/N: **I just realized, another Shane-less chapter! :( Wahh. I'll pop him back in there shortly, I swear! Sorry to all of you Shane lovers. Also, it kind of kills me to write about Nate & Alex acting all comfortable and almost bf-gf-like around each other...I apologize! Also, I hope this chapter makes you hate Mitchie a little bit less. I just want to show a lot of different perspectives in this, since things can get pretty complicated. And lastly, sorry for the excessive A/Ns. Review? :D

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything. And certainly not the beautiful Coldplay lyrics Nate sung to Alex. If only, if only. :P

**Special Thanks to: **_jellybellybean101_, another new reader! :) You're fantastic. Sorry for the wait on this chapter! & to _mUSIC4LiFE95_ for the 300th review! WOOHOO! Can't even believe it.

**Dedication: **to _Alyssa4Music4Life_, for always being so supportive, and for giving me an idea for this chapter. I fed off your idea of Mitchie getting mad at Alex & Nate—and I was like, "What's worse than getting mad?"—Not mad! Haha I know, it doesn't make sense. But that's the way it worked itself into the plot I have planned! Hope you liked it.


	19. Questions

**A/N: **Okay first off—an apology! I know this chapter took forever. I also have bad news: I'm going on a temporary hiatus. :( Exams are coming & I have to concentrate on that—which means I won't be publishing for a while. Around 3 weeks or so—tentatively, May 10-ish. I know that's a really long time, but I've left you with this chapter before I go! I'm so so so sorry. I'll be back before you know it, & I hope to see tons of awesome reviews from you beautiful people! I'll have loads of time to write after—& I've got new ideas for other stories too! :D

I love you, and will miss you loads! Also—check back at my profile, I'll update it occasionally if something changes. :) Enjoy the chapter, and the song! Sorry about the uncreative title. Also, I have to warn you that this chapter is kind of terrible. I wrote it in a huge rush, because I didn't want to leave you guys with nothing—and thus, it's abrupt and poorly written. But I tried!

P.S. I snuck Jason in this chapter, and Shane! I missed them both. Just a note—Jason is more like Kevin in this story, just because I wanted to avoid the whole airheaded "birdhouse" stuff. Not that I don't love that either! I just thought this story would do better without that. Do you guys agree?

* * *

**Song of the Chapter: **Let Go - Frou Frou

* * *

**Everything We've Known  
**_Chapter 19 – Questions  
_

Alex sighed as she closed the door to the cabin gently behind her, Mitchie's light snores still echoing in the room. The early morning air was still brisk, and she found herself tugging her sweatshirt closer to her body to keep warm. She kicked at a stone absentmindedly, as she started to walk quickly towards the main building, eager to get inside the warmth of the mess hall.

"Alex!

She frowned, spinning around and shrieking as a figure ran straight at her, grabbing her shoulders for support.

"Wow," Nate panted, "I thought I wouldn't catch up!"

"Shit!" Alex yelped, her heart pounding furiously, "God Nate, did you really have to scare me like that!?"

"Oops," Nate grinned sheepishly, "I didn't mean to, I swear! What are you doing, anyway?"

"Uhh, getting breakfast? You know, the meal people usually eat when they wake up..?"

Nate chuckled, shoving his hands in his pockets. "No, I mean, what are you doing up so early?"

"Oh," Alex muttered, "Couldn't sleep. You?"

"Same," Nate nodded, looking down at his feet. Alex opened her mouth to say something, but then just nodded and decided against it.

"Well...should we..?" Nate asked, gesturing at the mess hall door and rubbing at the back of his neck.

Alex frowned slightly at his odd behavior and then nodded again as Nate stepped forward to open the door for her. She smiled at the gesture as she stepped inside, the smell of sausages wafting through the air.

"I'm starving," she said, realizing that she in fact was. Nate grinned at her as the two of them stepped into the breakfast line, grabbing trays and silverware.

"So..you couldn't sleep?" Nate asked conversationally as he forked a plateful of steaming pancakes onto his tray.

"Um, not really. Just thinking about...stuff." Alex said lamely, reaching for her own pancakes.

"Mm," Nate hummed in understanding, "Yeah, me too."

A silence fell over the two of them as they finished filling up their trays and headed over to grab a table. The mess hall was nearly empty due to the early hour, and Alex found it rather unsettling. She felt as if she should say something, but nothing came to mind. Instead, she took a large bite of a pancake, almost choking in the process.

"So, uh, it's..going to be nice weather today." Nate mumbled, not quite looking Alex in the eye.

Seriously? Were they really going to talk about the _weather_? Things had been so perfect yesterday...and now it seemed, they were just back to square one. And Alex hated making conversation, more than she could even explain. It seemed so useless, so forced, and Nate knew that she thought that. But as she racked her mind for something of importance that she could say to him, she came up blank. Sure, they were still friends. But it seemed like nothing that she could say would really mean anything. None of it would matter, because it wasn't what she _really_ wanted to say. And what she really did want to say, well, she couldn't say _that_, now could she?

She started to reply, and then realized she still had quite a bit of pancake in her mouth. She hurried to swallow, blushing before she nodded and said, "Yeah..Yeah, I hear it's supposed to be nice."

She felt like slapping herself, but really, what else could she have said? She almost smiled at his embarrassment, and the way he felt the need to fill the silence between them. And it was just like him to know what the weather was supposed to be like. He never was any good at talking to girls. He blushed and gulped and tripped over his words, but once he got over all of that, you would never get him to stop talking. Alex hated that somehow, it seemed like she was just meeting him for the first time all over again.

"Um," Nate tried again, his voice dropping a little as he stirred his cereal around and around. "So, I uh...asked Mitchie to the dance yesterday."

"You did?" Alex looked up in surprise. Even though she knew it was coming, she felt a tiny pang in her chest. "Why didn't she tell me?"

"She didn't?" Nate asked, a tiny wrinkle of confusion forming on his forehead. "Um, maybe...she was too tired?"

"Oh, yeah...I guess," Alex muttered, looking down at her food again. "Well, I mean, no surprise there, right? Of course you asked her. So, um, good job."

Alex could have hit herself right then. _Good job?_ What kind of comment was that?

Luckily, he didn't seem to notice. "Thanks," he said quietly, half-smiling at her. "I just..thought you might..want to know? No, I mean..I thought I should tell you."

Alex blinked. _He thought she would want to know? _Why on earth would she want to know?

"Oh. Yeah. Well...thanks for telling me," she murmured, and another silence fell over them. This time, Alex did nothing to even try and fill it. Instead, she continued to slice her pancakes up into smaller and smaller pieces, suddenly not really hungry at all.

Nate looked at her intently, biting his lip. Why was this so awkward all of a sudden? '_Look up,_' he thought, '_Look up!_' Right on cue, Alex's eyes traveled upwards and met his with alarming force, causing him to jump back slightly in his seat. He looked away almost on instinct, a blush creeping up onto his cheeks. What was the matter with him? Or more importantly, what was the matter with _them_? Everything had been just fine yesterday. Great, in fact. But it seemed like that was what their friendship was coming down to. One day, they were absolutely fine. The next, it was like they didn't even know each other. He just couldn't wrap his head around it. In fact, he couldn't wrap his head around _most_ things lately. All his thoughts were just jumbled up in his head, and he couldn't even keep track of what he was feeling most of the time.

"Uh, right. Um, so..I'm going to go get more food!" he blurted, motioning at his tray and getting up abruptly.

Alex laughed under her breath, sighing in relief as he walked away. Now she had a few more moments to...think of something to say to him. Since when did she ever have to do that with Nate?

She looked down at her tray and closed her eyes in thought, her neck slowly drooping down in exhaustion. A voice called her name and her head jerked up just before her face fell forward onto her plate of pancakes.

"Jason!" she beamed as the curly-haired boy snuck up behind her, giving her a swift kiss on the cheek and sliding into the seat across from her.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in forever!" she grinned, happy to see him. "And you just saved me from a pancake disaster."

"I'm guessing you're...tired?" he asked, and Alex laughed.

She shot him a joking glare, meant to convey a "you think?" type of sarcasm, but the bags under her eyes seemed to take away from the look.

"I couldn't fall asleep," Alex muttered in way of explanation, tearing open a carton of chocolate milk, "And then when I saw the sun coming up, I basically gave up on the entire idea altogether and decided to come to breakfast early."

"Oh," Jason nodded, and Alex breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that he wasn't the type to press her for information. She'd missed Jason over the past few weeks, even though he'd been present too. He just wasn't the type to get caught up in the drama of the situation, and thus Alex was seeing less and less of him. In some ways, she and Jason were the most similar out of all of her friends, for reasons she couldn't quite explain. They would both do anything for their friends, even if it meant sacrificing what they themselves wanted most. And at times like this, Alex was eternally grateful for his simple ways of understanding her. He didn't look at her with sympathy like Shane did, but with confidence. As if he trusted in her to do the right thing.

"So, what's your excuse for getting up so early?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I do it a lot. It's kind of peaceful, when everyone is still asleep, and the whole camp is quiet."

Alex smiled. The funny thing was, just a few seconds ago, she'd been thinking that it was rather eerie when the whole camp was quiet. But now that Jason put it like that, she realized he was kind of right. It was sort of peaceful, and there was a certain calm about the whole atmosphere. She looked down at her plate and started to close her eyes again, but Jason took the opportunity to abruptly change the subject.

"You holding up?" he asked quietly, and Alex bit her lip as she looked up. She had known the question was coming, but she had wanted to avoid the topic. It was strange, because she'd always liked talking to Jason about her problems, not usually Shane. But for some reason, she didn't want to talk to him about this. He knew her almost _too_ well, understood her better than she herself did. It was easier to talk to Shane about it, because he took the whole thing rather lightly. She could count on Shane to cheer her up. But Jason would tell her what was right, even if it wasn't what she wanted to hear. It was hard, but he wasn't the type to sugar-coat things. She speared a pancake onto her fork and nudged it around on her plate before nodding.

"Dumb question," Jason murmured, and Alex looked up from her pancakes. He smiled teasingly at her confused look.

"Well, I mean, everyone knows that when something's going on with Alex Russo, you only get three questions before she'll start ignoring you. I figured Shane has been grilling you recently and wasted all his questions, so I thought I could finish off the game for him—but then I went and wasted my first question!"

Alex let out a genuine laugh, despite her monstrous headache."That's not true!" she protested, waving her fork around in the air.

Jason raised an eyebrow. "Put the fork down and maybe I'll believe you," he joked, an infectious grin spreading across his face.

Alex grinned back, and then spotted someone entering the mess hall. "Speaking of Shane," Alex muttered, "What's he doing up so early? Please hide me, Jase? He's going to start all over with the questions.."

Jason laughed. "No can do, you'll just have to endure another round of vicious interviewing before he gives up."

Alex rolled her eyes and managed a smile as Shane ran towards them, jumping into the seat beside her with alarming energy for so early in the morning.

"Hey Jase, hey Lex!" he beamed, snatching Alex's fork and stealing a syrup-smothered pancake, proceeding to wolf it down. He looked up and grinned mid-chew, giving Jason and Alex an unobstructed view of his half-processed breakfast. He shrugged apologetically at Jason's grimace and moved on to Alex's scrambled eggs.

"I couldn't sleep," he explained between bites, "I was too hungry."

He laughed and then stopped chewing as he glanced at Alex, his mouth dropping open slightly.

"Whoa, Lex, you look _terrible_."

Alex shot him another attempted death-glare, but Shane seemed unperturbed. Jason held back a chuckle as he shook his head scoldingly at Shane.

"I mean...not that syrupy hair isn't a good look for you..?" Shane tried, eliciting another laugh from Jason.

Alex groaned, reaching up to confirm that she had _indeed_ managed to get maple syrup in her hair while almost doing a face-plant in her breakfast.

"Why can't I just have friends who lie to me and tell me how good I look?" she grumbled.

"Aw, now what fun would _that_ be?" Shane grinned, swinging an arm around her and wiping at her sticky hair with a handful of napkins.

"Thanks Shane," Alex said dejectedly, letting her neck droop in exhaustion.

Shane waved a hand as if to say, 'No problem', and continued to tug at her curls. "So.." he began, a slight mischievous tone to his voice, "Were you up all night dreaming about Nate?"

Alex jumped slightly, yelping, "What!? I-uh, NO!" She blushed furiously as she looked at Jason, gauging his expression.

"Oops," Shane chuckled sheepishly, "Did I forget to mention to you that I accidentally might have...let your secret slip to Jason?"

"Shaaaane," Alex groaned, too tired to send him another glare. She sighed, and then made a face, knowing she had already lost.

"I would have told you first anyways," Alex muttered at Jason, "But Shane here just wouldn't give up."

Shane grinned proudly and Alex rolled her eyes, a surge of affection rising up inside her for the two boys sitting before her. They were some of the few people who could make her smile at 7 in the morning, even if it was against her will.

"So now that the secret is out—we're free to gossip as openly as we want!" Shane exclaimed, clapping his hands together excitedly.

"Um, _no_?" Alex laughed, her voice lilting up in a question. "Could we not?"

Jason grinned. "Shane's secretly a teenage girl in disguise," he whispered to Alex, causing a giggle.

"HEY!" Shane cried, "I _heard_ that! Jeez, you don't even know how to talk behind people's backs properly."

Alex laughed outright this time, and Jason crossed his arms as he smiled and said, "I rest my case."

"_Anyways_," Shane interrupted, looking at the two of them crossly, "Excited for the dance?"

Alex blinked. Did _everybody _know about this dumb dance except for her? Suddenly a neon flyer on the wall caught her eye, and she turned to look around the mess hall in surprise. Multi-colored posters of all sizes proclaiming '_1st Annual Camp Rock Dance!_' were plastered across the walls, practically blinding all passerby. _Oh_.

"Not really," she said truthfully, wondering how she hadn't noticed before. Now that she thought about it, there had been a lot of excited squealing coming from all of the girls lately, and awkward conversations between the opposite sexes—but she'd chalked that up to hormones, or something of that matter. Nothing that she was interested in, anyway.

"Well, why not?" Jason asked, and Alex made a face.

"Alex Russo and dances...don't mix," she supplied, and Shane scoffed.

"That's what _you_ think," he grinned cheekily, and then added, "You're going anyways, you know that, right?"

Alex muffled a groan. "Yes, I know."

From behind them, they heard a "Hey!" as Nate approached the table, smiling as he plopped back down, a tray piled feet high with even more food than the first.

"Whoa," Alex breathed, "So that's why it took you so long."

Nate grinned. "I got hungry just from walking back over there, so I figured I should get even more the second time around."

Shane laughed and then reached over to snag another of Alex's pancakes.

"Hey!" Nate said, slapping Shane's hand away. "Back off her breakfast! She's hungry!"

"Sheesh," Shane said, pulling his hand back. "It's just food, Nathaniel, chill. _Someone's_ touchy this morning."

"I'm not _touchy_," Nate muttered, "She just said she was hungry! Go get your own food or something. And don't call me Nathaniel."

"Like I said.." Shane sing-songed, "_Touchy_!" He grinned at a cross Nate as he stood up to get some breakfast. Jason smiled and then gave Nate a knowing look, to which Nate frowned at. Why was everyone looking at him like that?

"Hey, here comes Mitchie," Jason announced, waving at her as she entered. "I guess everyone decided to get up early this morning?"

Mitchie beamed as she walked over, a bounce in her step. "I almost had a heart attack when I woke up and you weren't there, Alex. I don't think you've ever woken up before me in my life."

Alex chuckled and pulled up a chair for her, in which she gladly sat. Mitchie grinned as she looked around the table, leaning over to give Nate a kiss on the cheek. Alex tried not to cringe, which Jason of course, noticed. He raised his eyebrows at her and Alex sighed. She'd promised to herself last night while she was tossing and turning that she would try harder, for Mitchie's sake. It honestly and truly wasn't her fault, and Alex hated that she was feeling this way about her best friend all because of a stupid boy. Of course, it didn't help that this aforementioned stupid boy was her best friend as well. But that was besides the point.

Shane skipped back, a plate of fresh pancakes in his hands. Alex had to laugh at his choice of toppings—a thick layer of whipped cream, sliced strawberries, sprinkles, all covered in a giant puddle of chocolate syrup.

"Okay, _now_ I'm hungry again," Alex grinned as she stole her fork back from him and grabbed a mouthful before he could stop her, coming up with more whipped cream than pancake.

"Hey!" he cried, grabbing the fork and yanking it towards him, engaging in a fruitless battle of tug-of-war.

Alex laughed as she gave up, letting go of the fork and sending Shane flying backwards in his seat as he tugged one last time towards him.

"Oops," she giggled as Shane stuck his tongue out at her and promptly went back to scarfing down his breakfast.

Alex grinned and turned slightly, the grin sliding off her face as she turned her attention back to everyone else. Jason caught her eye as she forced herself to look away from Nate and Mitchie, who were laughing uncontrollably as Mitchie tried to steal a bite of his waffle. The thing was, she'd had to see a lot worse coming from them. Over the past few weeks, she'd been forced to watch them hug and kiss multiple times in front of her. Compared to that, this innocent exchange shouldn't unnerve her at all. But for some reason, this hurt almost worse than all of the light kisses, the way he swept her hair off her forehead. Maybe it was because of the awkward, forced conversation that she and Nate had that morning. What Mitchie and Nate were doing now was nothing more than a simple display of friendship. But that was just it—it was simple, and easy. They were so comfortable around each other, and after the way that Alex and Nate had been acting earlier, it hurt so bad to see it.

Mitchie grinned, as she triumphantly dove for Nate's waffles and tore off a piece, popping it into her mouth before Nate could stop her. She shrieked as Nate raised his eyebrows and then jumped at her unexpectedly, grabbing her around the waist and beginning to tickle her. Alex realized that she wasn't just losing her chance with Nate. Somehow, in the midst of all of this, she'd started to lose her friendship with Nate too. How had she let that happen? God, how had she not realized it before? Something tore at Alex, making her want to say something, jump up, tell them they were breaking her. But she couldn't do that.

So she did the next best thing. The words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them as she tore her eyes away from Mitchie and Nate, looking straight at Shane.

"Will you go to the dance with me?"


	20. Happily Ever After

**A/N: **HEY! Wow, _long time no see_! I'm so excited to be back. And I hope you all love this chapter--I wanted to make it long, because you had to wait forever. I did it in a hurry though, so it might not be the greatest. I also wrote it right after I'd been working on a one-shot (which you might see soon! Interested?), so this chap. might be a bit..darker than you're used to? It's different from some of the other chapters, and there's a lot of Shane's P.O.V. in there. He's more thoughtful in this story than you might think ;). Oh, and there's one flashback, yay!

Thank you for being patient and understanding. I hope I haven't lost all of my readers! ;) Thank you also for the good luck wishes on my exams--I think they helped! Also, for some exciting stuff:

_ScribblesofLove_ just did the coolest thing ever and made a TRAILER for this story! It's amazing. She's pretty cool, seriously. You should see her other vids too! And on top of it, she's a fab writer as well--she's got some Nalex one-shots and a great story called Eighteen & Famous, which deserves way more readers. But anyways, check out the trailer (delete any spaces in the link!):

**www. youtube. com/watch?v=zl2fuY_Np2c**

Also, while I was studying, I got bored & made a banner for this story! I'm not the best at making 'em--I'm awful with computers. But if you're interested, the link is below (delete the spaces):

**http: // img8. imageshack. us/img8/962/burningupedit. jpg**

That's all for today! Let me know what you think of the chapter & the banner. If you liked it, I can unveil a new banner each chapter, because I've got more! :P Also, if any of you have computer skills (which I obviously lack), I'd love it if you guys ever got bored one day and wanted to create banners/promos/trailers for this story! It's nice to know I have such talented reviewers! Of course, I'd put them up here--and you'd get full credit too, for sure. :) I love you! _Cami_

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**Song of the Chapter: **Ashes & Wine - A Fine Frenzy

* * *

**Everything We've Known**  
_Chapter 20 _-_ Happily Ever After  
_

Alex realized the words were out of her mouth before she could really even comprehend what she was saying.

Her eyes flickered in surprise for a moment, as if shocked by her own words. Her mouth flung itself open as she debated over what to say that would make it all better, but she drew a blank. Honestly, what could she say? "_PSYCH!_"? Or..."_GOTCHA! April Fool's!_"?

Right.

That would be the day.

And then Ashton Kutcher could pop out from behind that breakfast buffet right there and proclaim, "HAHAHA suckas, you've just been Punk'd!" Then Shane would stop shoving whipped cream down his throat to prance off in a tutu, and Nate would suddenly realize that Alex had been the one for him all along and he'd proceed to furiously make out with her in the middle of the mess hall.

Alex almost laughed, and then stopped when she realized that everyone was still staring at her. And to be truthful, the idea of making out with Nate in the middle of the mess hall wasn't really all that laughable, or funny.

'_I will not look at his lips, I will not look at his lips, I will not look at his lips,_' Alex repeated silently in her head, attempting to force all images of Nate out of her head.

It was Jason that broke the silence first.

"A--Alex?"

Alex blinked, and then turned to face him. All of a sudden she was blushing, and she didn't have the faintest idea what to do with her hands.

"Did..did you just ask.._Shane_..to the dance?"

Okay, so the way he said it made it sound kind of ridiculous. But for some reason, Alex was defensive of her idea--or rather, the idea that had lept uncontrollably from her lips. So she hadn't really made the best of decisions, but was it really that absurd? Was she seriously going to just stand around pathetically, trying not to feel sorry for herself as Nate and Mitchie slow-danced their way through every single sappy song known to mankind?

Not if she had anything to say about it.

She nodded, firmly now. Jason gave her a look that clearly read, '_Alex, please just think about this first,_' but Alex was done with thinking. She saw Mitchie's mouth drop open slightly out of the corners of her eyes, and she got a strange satisfaction out of that. She knew it was wrong, so wrong. But let them be surprised, all of them. She couldn't just wait around any longer, wishing for something that was obviously out of reach. She tried her best to keep her eyes as far away as possible from Nate--but she still thought she saw his hand tighten it's grasp around Mitchie's, and then she was glad for asking Shane.

Nate didn't need her. Why should she go on needing him?

No, wait. This wasn't about Nate. This was about _her_.

"So..what's the verdict, insane Shane?"

Alex grinned as she asked him. For some reason, he seemed to be the least surprised out of all of them, and she had to hold herself back from literally jumping out of her seat to hug him. She loved him for not making a big deal out of it, for making everything okay. He knew what this meant to her, and why she had to do it.

Shane continued to casually dig into his pancakes, taking his time.

"Weeeeell," he drawled, as if he was using all his effort to think about the right answer.

Alex groaned, trying to make it seem as if she couldn't care less.

He grinned loosely at Alex, but he caught her eyes for a quick second and shot her the quickest of looks, asking her quietly if she was okay. There was the slightest hint of concern in his eyes, but mostly he was making sure that Alex knew what she wanted. Alex dipped her neck down into a tiny nod, letting him know that this was her decision.

Shane continued to smirk, but his eyes flickered to Nate's in one swift motion. Nate was staring straight at him, his eyes focused on Shane with intense concentration. He looked as if every piece of him was on edge, waiting for Shane's answer--and it unnerved him. No matter what Nate and Alex both thought and denied, there was definitely more than just a surface level relationship between them. Why couldn't they see that if they just cracked the surface, the border, the start point, they could make something work?

His eyes skimmed over Jason next, who looked wary. Jason was nervous, Shane knew that much. Honestly, Shane didn't think he'd ever been in a more twisted situation. What was he supposed to say? Alex was one of his best friends, and he would do anything for her. So if she asked him this little favor, he shouldn't have to think about it.

And yet, Nate was his brother. And no matter how often he would deny any feelings for Alex--his eyes right now, boring into Shane's, suggested otherwise. Shane didn't want to be that person that got in the middle of things. Although, technically, Mitchie had already filled that spot. The worst part was that Nate, Mitchie, and Alex were all best friends. Nothing was supposed to ruin that. And Nate liked Mitchie, he really did. Shane could see that too. He might even love her. But the question was--what was right?

Shane chanced another glance at Jason, hoping he might be able to telepathically send him some sort of solution to this problem. The "problem" being that: Alex loved Nate, who could very possibly love her as well, even if he didn't know it, but was going out with Mitchie, who happened to be Alex's best girl friend, who was also in love with Nate. Add a very confused (not to mention out of breath) Shane to the equation, and you get...

Shane. Staring around a table, as if searching for answers in everybody's eyes. He kept smirking, as if teasing Alex, but his thoughts were literally out of control now.

Finally, his eyes landed on Mitchie. She was the only person at the table who wasn't looking at Shane, waiting for his answer. Instead, her hands were clasped in Nate's as she gazed up at him. She bit her lip and a tiny crease appeared on her forehead, and all of it was almost enough to break Shane's heart. Nate didn't even notice the way Mitchie was looking at him now. As if she would lose him in any second, as if she was preparing herself.

Why couldn't Nate see _anything_?

Shane swallowed and turned back to Alex. The smile reappeared on his face as he opened his mouth. The eyes of the four others at the table flashed through his head, begging him to make the right decision. Which was...what?

"Of course I'll go to the dance with you, Lex."

And then suddenly, Shane had placed himself in the middle of the most complex sandwich he'd ever heard of. And somehow, he and Mitchie were smashed between Alex and Nate, and no one even really knew who was the bread or who was the lettuce. Yum.

So Shane kept his eyes firmly glued on Alex, because he couldn't bear to look at anybody else.

He could picture Jason, his cheeks sucked in between a breath of relief and a sigh of sorrow. Because Jason didn't know either, who could? How could anyone possibly know what made sense? He imagined Nate's face crumpling for a split second before he regained his composure and pretended like nothing had ever happened, feigned indifference. And God, he was such a good pretender that even he wouldn't notice. Except, Mitchie would. Shane could almost see the look on her face when she caught that moment of hesitation in Nate's act, that flash of uncovered hurt that said everything. And she wouldn't understand, because, how could she? What was there even to understand? She wouldn't know why, but she'd know it was there. And she'd try to forget, she'd remain the unswaying girlfriend she always had been, but she'd always have Nate's face in the back of her head reminding her that nothing was okay anymore.

So he didn't look at anybody else, because he already knew what they would look like. Seeing them once in his imagination was enough.

And he wondered what he looked like at that moment, if anyone could see through his smirk and his grin, if anyone saw him crumple too.

Probably Alex.

And she grinned like him, because they were best friends, all of them, and as long as they didn't look at anybody else, they could remember everything as easy as how it used to be. But Shane saw through her too, and Alex saw through him.

All of them would deny it, but they felt the shift in things. When had they become so goddamn see-through?

All of a sudden Mitchie slipped her hand out of Nate's, Nate took a sharp intake of breath as he wrenched his eyes away from Shane, and Jason tried to smile.

"That's great!"

All eyes flew to Mitchie now, and her smile was almost believable.

"I mean, I can't believe I didn't see it before! Alex & Shane, Shane & Alex, it's..."

They waited.

"...perfect!"

For some reason, they'd all thought maybe, she would say what she meant. But that moment was over, and they breathed out in unison. Whether it was relief, or a sigh, it was hard to say. Because honestly, did they want to face the truth? Especially when it was so much easier to believe a lie?

And so Alex nodded. And then Shane, and then Jason, and then Nate.

Until Shane couldn't really take it anymore, and grabbed Alex by the wrist.

"Can I talk to you?"

Alex nodded and smiled, standing up from her seat and following Shane out of the mess hall.

And she didn't dare look back, because this was not about Nate, not about Nate, not about Nate.

* * *

Shane let go of Alex's wrist as they neared the dock, far off from the mess hall and all it's people. He clutched at his head in pain, stifling a groan.

"What's up, migraine Shane?"

Shane couldn't help it. He grinned, before wrinkling his nose.

"What's with the rhymes, Russo? I mean, _insane_ Shane? _Migraine_?"

Alex grinned. "I've got more, you just wait."

Shane started to smile again, and then realized why he'd pulled her away.

"So you were saying, peabrain Shane?"

He rolled his eyes, and then got serious.

"Alex, are you absolutely sure about this?"

"What's that supposed to mean? It's a dance, Shane. Of course I'm sure."

"Not just about the dance, Lex. About all of it. Nate. He loves you, you know."

Alex's heart sank, and she bit at her lip until it bled._ Lies, lies, lies_.

"Will you please stop _saying_ that?"

Shane looked at her harshly, and Alex almost jumped back. She closed her eyes for a moment and suddenly let loose.

"Well what's the _point_ then Shane, can you tell me that? Why in the world would I want to keep hurting myself? Who cares if he loves me? He obviously doesn't love me _enough_ to pick me. He doesn't love me _enough_ to see what he's doing. It's never enough Shane, it's never enough and I'm so sick of it, I'm so _done_ with it."

Shane stared at her intently, waiting for her to finish. He nodded in understanding, and then sighed.

"Alex, you keep saying that. I know it's not what you want to hear. And I know I usually tell you exactly what you want to hear. I'm not the one that usually breaks things to you, or tells you what's wrong. But you're not listening to anybody Alex, you don't want to listen. So you want to know what the truth is? The truth is that you're so far from being done with it that it's not even funny. You keep telling me you're over it, you're sick of it, you don't care, but those are lies, Alex. You know it better than I do. You think I'm the one telling lies, I know. But it's you, Alex. You're the liar. You're not over it and you're not going to be over it for a long time. So you better figure out how to fix it, or face the facts and quit telling yourself useless lies, Alex, because I can't cover up the truth for you anymore."

Alex's hand fell loosely to her side as her mouth opened, but didn't say anything.

She stared at Shane in silence, absolutely stunned, dumbstruck, broken.

And she didn't know what it was, whether if it was because Shane never lashed out at her or did anything but made her feel better, or whether it was because she finally realized she'd been lying to herself all along, or whether it was because she didn't understand how much Shane had been doing for her, but suddenly she was in his arms and sobbing.

"Shhh," Shane whispered, rubbing her back and seeming not at all surprised by her breakdown, "We'll figure it out, I promise."

"I--just--" Alex gasped between sharp breaths, "God Shane, I'm just--such--an idiot!"

Shane chuckled, still holding her. "I think I've heard that one before, Lex."

"No--" Alex pulled away and furiously rubbed at her tears, sinking down onto the dock, "Why can't I just let go, Shane?"

"Because you love him," he whispered, as if it were the most simple thing in the world.

Alex's sobs quieted and her tears flowed down silently now as she clenched her fists.

"I mean it Shane," she muttered, "I just can't let anything go. I've been holding onto memories for as long as I can remember. And you know what the worst part of it is? I actually thought that everything would work out. I knew things weren't going how they were supposed to, but for the longest time I thought that things would still end up like I'd always imagined. I thought the thing with Mitchie would blow over, I thought everything would be fine. And I'm supposed to be happy for them, I'm supposed to love them, Shane."

"What do you mean like you always imagined, Lex?"

Alex laughed almost bitterly, shaking her head as if it was all a joke.

"You know, I never believed in princesses. I never believed in glass slippers and pumpkin carriages, fairytales or love story romances. I didn't believe in any of it, and I always laughed at Mitchie for insisting that she would meet her Prince Charming one day. And yet, somehow, I managed to fall for the most unbelievable happily ever after of them all."

**- Flashback (Winter 2000) -**

_"Hey Allie," Nate poked Alex gently in the shoulder and she held up one hand, signaling for him to wait. He nodded and sat down, crossing his legs and folding his hands in his lap patiently._

_"Got it!" Alex crowed triumphantly, waving her math homework up in the air. Nate grinned and applauded her as Alex bowed, pretending to accept a trophy._

_"Thank you, thank you! I'd like to accept this award on the behalf of my best friend in the whole wide world, Nathaniel Gray, who taught me how to do long division. I wouldn't be here without him today! He's loads better than Miss Turbin, too."_

_"Miss Turbin just doesn't understand the long division of gummy bears," Nate grinned, popping a cherry gummy bear into his mouth._

_Alex laughed and protested, yelping, "Nate, you're eating all the long division! That's the only way I understand how to do this, you can't EAT them!"_

_Nate giggled and dove for the gummy bears, popping dozens into his mouth at once. "Says who?" he grinned, his cheeks full with the chewy candies._

_Alex gasped and opened her mouth to yell at Nate, but couldn't find anything to say. She burst into a fit of laughter and began stuffing the gummy bears into her mouth with equal vigor.  
_

_"You hippo," Nate laughed, and Alex wrinkled her nose. _

_"Hippo?" she echoed, "What does that have to do with gummy bears?"_

_"You know, Mommy always calls Dad a 'hippo-crit' when he eats the last cookie after he told us they're bad for our teeth?"  
_

_"Ohh," Alex nodded in agreement, "Well if I'm a hippo, then you're a RHINO-CERRUS!"_

_"Nuh uh," Nate shook his head, "If you're a hippo, I'm a hippo."_

_Alex started to protest, and then shrugged and grinned. "Yeah, I guess that's right." Nate smiled and then his face lit up._

_"Oh, hey Allie, I almost forgot what I was gonna ask you!"_

_Alex waited._

_"Well," Nate started, "..What do you want to be when you grow up?"_

_Alex grinned. "A hippo!" She burst into laughter, tossing her head back as Nate chuckled along with her._

_"No, but really!" he cut in, still smiling. "I mean, for a job, and for the rest of your life!"_

_"Oh," Alex blinked, "I don't know."  
_

_Nate frowned. "Well, don't you ever think about it? I mean, we're gonna get older, and then we have to finish school and go to college and do lots of homework and get married and have kids and buy a house and pay taxes and get old and wrinkly and not play on the swings anymore and.." he slowed down, gulping air.  
_

_Alex stared at him blankly for what seemed like forever, and then started laughing._

_Nate gaped, dumbstruck. What was so funny?_

_"Nate, why are you so worried? We're just kids, we don't have to think about that yet!"_

_"But..but.." Nate stuttered. "We do! What if I get old and we go to middle school and high school and nobody likes me and I never get into college and I can't get married and I never have any kids and..and then what?"_

_Alex started to laugh again, but stopped when she saw the worried look on Nate's face._

_"C'mon Nate, you don't really think that, do you? That's so far away! And plus, everybody will like you and you won't have anything to worry about!"_

_"But..what IF, Allie, what IF nobody does?"  
_

_Alex sighed, and then took his small hand reassuringly in hers as she grinned. "Well then, I guess I'll just be your best friend then, and nothing will ever change. And then once we're old enough, we can get married and buy a house with a bright red door and a green lawn. We can get a doggy--a golden retriever--and we can have two kids, one girl and one boy. And we can open an ice cream shop and have a swingset in our backyard and nobody will care even if we're old and keep swinging anyways, okay?"_

_Nate thought about it for a moment before beaming. "You really think so?"_

_"Uh huh," Alex smiled, "Of course."_

_"Promise?"_

_Alex squeezed Nate's hand lightly and grinned. _

_"I promise."_

**- End Flashback -**

"And Shane, that didn't mean anything at all. We were seven, and it was one conversation and he probably can't even remember it anymore. But you know what? I remember everything. I remember it all, down to the last detail, the way he looked so worried. And God, some part of me always wanted to believe that no matter what happened, that was how we would end up, because I promised him."

Shane swallowed and closed his eyes. She really, really loved him, didn't she? How was it possible for Nate not to see that?

"Hey Lex?"

Alex looked up slowly, blinking back tears again.

"You're not stupid," he whispered.

Alex managed a tiny smile and a weak laugh, relaxing.

"And you know what else?" Shane added, trying to keep her smiling.

"What?" Alex obliged.

"You may not believe in happily ever afters, but I do. Nate will come around--he has to. And we're going to work this out, okay? I promise."

Alex chuckled half-heartedly. "I hope you're better at keeping promises than I am, Shane."

Shane laughed. "There's the Alex I know. Hey, and look on the bright side, Lex!"

Alex frowned. "The bright side? What bright side, Shane?"

"Um, HELLO!?" Shane grinned. "Don't tell me you're not excited. Oh come on, Lex, the hottest guy at the ENTIRE camp just said YES to go to the dance with you! Tell me you're not jumping out of your seat with excitement!"

Alex's confused frown broke into a wide smile, and then a laugh. She leaned over, clutching at her stomach and still laughing like crazy. They needed more of these moments, ones where they could laugh and just forget about everything. This was everyone's last summer together, and somehow it had turned into one full of stress and drama. That wasn't how it was supposed to be.

"I'm definitely jumping out of my seat with excitement, jet plane Shane." Alex grinned.

"Jet plane?" Shane laughed, making a face. "How lame is that?"

"Hey, like you could do better!"

"Well, nothing rhymes with ALEX, doof."

"That's right, face it, Mr. Jet Plane, Insane, Migraine, Cocaine, Champagne, Mary Jane, Traffic Lane, Inhumane. You're just not as cool as the Lex-meister."

"WHOA!" Shane burst into laughter, his eyes wide. "Okay, okay, you win."

"As usual," Alex grinned, "Now come on, Mary Jane, they're probably looking for us."

Shane wrinkled his nose as he stood up and followed Alex back into the mess hall.

"I hate my name."


	21. You Love Her

**A/N: **I'm so sorry for the wait on this chapter. I've published a couple darker one-shots, (which I'd love if you checked out, by the way!) and coming back to this just kind of had me in a rut. I was almost embarrassed to read it back, because the way I wrote it seemed so childish _– _I kind of debated stopping the story. But I would feel worse if I did that, so I decided to just suck it up and write. Also, your reviews make me smile and I couldn't leave the story like this. It might be a dumb plot, but it's fun to write! If you enjoy it, that's an added plus. ;)

Also _– _do you guys remember the bit where Brown had everybody pair up and told them to write original songs, to be performed at the end of Camp? I'd kinda forgotten, so you probably have too. But it comes back up, so if you want to refresh your memory, revisit Chapter 10 - _I Don't, I Can't_. Things are starting to move a _little_ bit in the story _– _but I'm sure a lot of you will still be frustrated with how slow it is. I'm sorry to say that even with the ending of this chapter, the pace doesn't quicken as fast as I'd hoped..

On another note, there's a couple of swears towards the end of this chapter. Just a warning! Sorry if you're not a fan _– _but that was just the way I felt like I could get the point across.

**

* * *

**

**Song of the Chapter:** Say - John Mayer

_

* * *

_

**Everything We've Known  
**_Chapter 21 __– You Love Her  
_

"What do you think!?" Mitchie cried, stepping out of the bathroom and twirling through the cabin.

Alex groaned. "Truthfully Mitch, I've seen enough dresses to last me a lifetime. _Every_ dress would look hideous to me at this point, so I don't think you want my opinion."

Mitchie rolled her eyes and laughed. She was used to Alex's tomboy-ish ways, and had even come to expect them. Which was exactly why she'd made sure to bring a back-up opinion.

"So Jase, be honest. Is it any better than the last one?"

"Ah, the beautiful Mitchie Torres asks for my thoughts on the...what is it, 13th dress she's tried today?" Jason laughed and directed his videocamera in Mitchie's direction, getting a shot of her dress. He then zoomed in on her face, which was currently scrunched-up in an annoyed expression.

"Put the stupid camera down, Jason!" she groaned. "Seriously, what is so interesting about me trying on dresses that you have to _videotape_ every single moment?"

"Aw come on, these are _memories _right here!" Jason protested, "And one day I'll look back fondly upon the day you yelled at me for recording your dress trying-on session."

Mitchie rolled her eyes once more and managed a grin. "Alright, get on with it. Thoughts?"

"Okay, okay. Let's see.." Jason hummed, crossing his legs and putting his hand to his chin in thought. "Well," he said, "The color is nice _– _the purple really suits you, Mitch. And I'm always partial to a strapless dress. But I think the frills at the bottom are a bit much, don't you?"

"Ah," Mitchie nodded, eyeing herself in the mirror, "Yeah, you're so right. They swallow me entirely. God Jase, you should be a stylist!" She beamed, skipping over to hug him.

"Well, judging from my own _personal _style.." Jason grinned, and then chuckled. "Now go try on this one," he said, tossing her a black halter-top dress.

"You're the best, Jason!" Mitchie sang, catching the dress and running back towards the bathroom. "Just switch off the dumb camera!"

"Never!" Jason retorted, turning towards Alex and grinning as he zoomed in on her face.

"And now, the stunning Alexandra Margarita Russo, currently _–_"

"Bored out of her mind," Alex cut in, "and requesting that Jason Paul Gray never call her by her full name again."

"Well, as Alex is snapping at me as usual, may I confidently assume that she is doing better than last week?"

Alex grinned. "What do you mean, _as usual_? You make me sound like some sort of monster! I hardly ever snap at you, Jase. That's Shane and Nate you're talking about."

"True, true." Jason agreed, ruffling her hair affectionately and switching the camera off. "No really though," he added, "You sound much better."

Alex chuckled and nodded half-heartedly. "Yeah, I'm getting by." Her eyes lit up as she continued, "And I'm _fantastic_, now that I get to talk to you!"

Jason laughed. "You suck-up, Als."

She stuck her tongue out and stood up to stretch, heading over to her own bunk. "I'm so glad I only brought one dress, so I don't have to _choose_."

"Can I see it?" yelped Jason, leaping over to reach into her shelves.

"Nuh uh," Alex said, slapping his hand away, "Then you'll just make me try it on, and I have to go meet Shane in _–_ Shoot Jase, what time is it!?"

"I don't know," Jason shrugged, "Maybe three-ish? Why?"

"Shit! I was supposed to meet Shane, we're supposed to finish that song we were writing!"

Jason grinned. "Relax, Alex. Shane will probably be later than you anyway. Talk to you later then, okay?"

Alex nodded and lept up to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "For sure. I want to see you more, alright? Tell Mitch I'm sorry _– _but she's in good hands with you, I'm sure."

Jason laughed and nodded. "Most definitely. Now go!"

Alex gave him one last wave before grabbing her guitar and running out of the cabin towards the rehearsal hall, sprinting into the studio. She slowed to catch her breath and smiled when she realized the room was empty. Predictable _– _Shane was always late. She slid into a chair and took her guitar out of it's case, starting to tune up. She hummed quietly along, her voice echoing through the silent room.

Suddenly, the door swung open with a bang and a panting Shane ran in, looking around the room frantically.

"Oh my God, Lex, I'm so sorry!" he yelped, his breath still ragged, "I'm ridiculously late, aren't I?"

Alex nodded and made a face. "Yeah, Jeez Shane. I've been waiting for almost an hour!"

Shane's eyes widened as he tugged a hand through his hair. "Are you serious? I can't believe it, I _always_ forget, I'm so sorry Lex! God, I even wrote it on my hand this time!" He held up his hand as proof, where _MEET ALEX FOR SONG!!! _was scrawled across his palm in black Sharpie.

Alex bit her lip, but couldn't help releasing a small giggle.

"Hey wait," Shane muttered, glancing around the room, "Why haven't you set up _–_" he blinked, as if something had just occurred to him. "_Aaalex!_" he whined, "You haven't been here for an hour! You just got here too, didn't you!"

Alex burst into laughter as Shane groaned and set his guitar down in a huff.

"You're evil."

"Thanks," Alex grinned, "I try. But you're too easy to mess with, it's no fun."

Shane pulled a face and sat down, taking out his own guitar and saying, "Alright, no more Mr. Nice Guy. Let's get started, okay?"

"Whatever you say, Mary Jane!" Alex sang under her breath, grinning as Shane whacked her on the shoulder.

"I'll pretend you didn't say that," he said, "So did you work on any new songs?"

Alex frowned. "Yeah, sorta. But with the dance and all, I kinda forgot about Brown's idea for the little...performance he planned in his class."

"Yeah," Shane sighed, "I did too. It was like, what, three weeks ago he mentioned it? And he wants us to perform _original_ songs, not covers..."

Alex groaned. "All the songs I've been writing lately suck. It's like...I hit some sort of mental roadblock. And I want to sing something meaningful, you know? Not like the rest of my stuff. I mean, the song we started was _good_, but it just...doesn't _mean_ anything."

"Hmm," Shane hummed in agreement. "Well, why don't we write something now?"

"What, you mean...start all over?" Alex looked skeptical. "Can we _do_ that? I mean, it's not like we have a lot of time..."

"Who cares? Of course we can do it!" Shane grinned, "And you're not partners with the soon-to-be famous Shane Gray for nothing! I'll play guitar, and you sing! C'mon Lex, why not?"

Alex swallowed, and then beamed. "Yeah, you're right! That's...great, Shane! Let's do it."

* * *

Nate knocked on the door to Mitchie and Alex's cabin, rapping out a pattern with his fists.

"Come iiiiin," someone called, and Nate stepped in hesitantly to see Jason sitting on Alex's bunk, fiddling with his videocamera.

"Oh hey Nate," Jason said absentmindedly, setting his camera down on the mattress. "What's up?"

Nate shrugged. "Nothing really. Kinda bored. Where is everyone?"

"Mitchie's in the bathroom, trying on dresses _– _and she'll probably kill me if she comes out and you're here. She wants the dress to be a surprise, or something like that." Jason stopped to chuckle, and then continued, "Oh, and Shane and Lex are in the studio, working on that song for Brown's class."

"Ugh," Nate muttered, "The song. I forgot. I'm supposed to write something with Mitchie, aren't I?"

"Well, yeah," Jason said, "That's sorta the assignment. What have you guys been doing in class all this time?"

"I don't know," Nate shrugged, blushing slightly. "We tried to work, but we just ended up talking or goofing off, I guess."

Jason shrugged. "No biggie, Mitchie's got tons of originals that Brown hasn't heard. You can each do your own thing _– _Brown said both solos and duets are fine, as long as they're original songs that you helped each other write. Brown won't know if you guys wrote the songs at Camp, or before."

Nate sighed in relief. "Yeah, that's right. I bet I have an original somewhere that he hasn't heard yet...Thanks Jase."

"Anytime."

A silence fell over them, and Nate broke it by asking, "So uh, Shane will probably be in the studio the rest of the day, huh?"

Jason nodded. "Probably, I guess. Why?"

"Nah, I just wanted to ask him something." Nate said, rubbing at the back of his neck uncertainly. "It's nothing, really."

Jason nodded again, not bothering to ask. Instead he said, "Hey, by the way Nate, did I tell you our manager called?"

"What? No," Nate said, glad for the subject change, "What did he say?"

"Well," Jason wrinkled his nose, "He said they're all really excited for the record...but he wanted to know if any of us could come to LA early to start publicizing the album."

"No way!" Nate protested. "What did you say? We have to be here for the dance and Final Jam, and we need more time to say bye to everyone!"

"That's what I said," Jason said, "I told him that normally we'd love to, but that it was impossible at the moment. They were gonna send a limo to pick us up the night of the dance. Crazy, right? I think he'll understand though _– _it's not a huge deal."

"Yeah," Nate nodded fervently, "Good thing you said no, man. That would have sucked."

Jason nodded in agreement, and then said, "Oh hey Nate, you should probably get outta here. Mitchie really will kill me, and then you guys will be left as Connect 2."

Nate chuckled. "Alright, alright, I'm going. I might head down to the studio and see if Shane and Allie have killed each other yet."

"Good thinking," Jason said seriously, "Tell Alex hi from me!"

Nate hesitated, a wrinkle forming on his brow. His momentary pause was over in a second, and he nodded. "Yeah, sure."

Jason watched Nate's retreating back as he exited the cabin. He was itching to just shake Nate, make him realize. But maybe he would figure it out on his own _– _and that would be better, wouldn't it?

_Yeah_, Jason thought, _I'll give him a little more time_. _He has to figure it out eventually...before it's too late _ _– he has to.  
_

* * *

Nate entered the studio uncertainly. He'd knocked, but no one had answered _– _not an uncommon thing in the studio. He made his way inside, immediately hearing the strum of an acoustic guitar from the back room. He smiled briefly as he shut the door behind him and followed the noise. The music stopped for a moment, but Nate stepped forward anyway. The door to the back room was left slightly open and he approached it cautiously, not wanting to disturb their rehearsal. He heard Shane first, his voice low. Alex's laugh followed, loud and infectious. The noise itself made Nate grin as he reached for the door. He was about to step in when he saw them, Alex with her head thrown back in laughter, and Shane grinning as he hit her loosely on the back to get her to stop laughing.

He stopped, his breath catching in his throat. Something about the whole thing made him feel sick to his stomach, and he didn't have the slightest idea why. Why should it? This was his brother and his best friend. Shouldn't he be happy if they were happy? But for some reason, he couldn't tear his eyes away from Alex, smiling brilliantly up at Shane.

He swallowed, feeling like he was intruding on something, as if this were something he wasn't supposed to see. He stepped back in a rush, and the floorboard creaked unexpectedly. Alex and Shane looked up abruptly and Nate jumped, their eyes landing on him.

"Nate?" Alex asked, her brow furrowed in confusion. Half a smile still graced her lips, but Nate was pretty sure it wasn't because of him.

"Uh, I was just _–_" he stuttered, turning a shade of red, "_– _Looking for Shane, but you guys are...busy, sorry, I _– _I'll come back, sorry _–_"

"What? No, we're almost finished up. Nate?"

Shane stared at Nate questioningly, waiting for him to come in. Something about the way his hand still rested on Alex's back and the look of innocence and unawareness in his eyes made Nate want to scream. God, what the hell was Shane trying to do? Alex was _his_ best friend. He should have seen this coming, the way they spent all this time together. His brother was a good guy, but he'd had his fair share of girlfriends. He was supposed to _protect_ Alex from guys like Shane, all of them. It took all of his strength to step back from the door and not lunge at Shane, yanking him out of the room.

"Nate? Where are you going?"

Alex's voice was almost enough to make him think straight again, but it sounded distant and he was already walking away, needing to get out. He sped-walked out of the rehearsal hall, Shane's voice and footsteps following him. His words sent a fresh wave of anger through him, but he continued to walk away, not looking back.

He turned around the corner of the rehearsal hall and broke out into a jog, feeling tense and edgy. Suddenly a hand grabbed him by the wrist and swung him around, pulling him face to face with Shane. His hands lashed out on instinct and he pushed Shane back, fury bubbling up inside him.

"Nate, what the hell is your problem!?"

"_Me!?_" Nate scoffed, stepping towards Shane threateningly. "_You're_ the one who won't get off my back! God, you're always asking me if I'm sure about Mitchie, and you just won't leave me alone! I was already pissed off about that, but I didn't say anything until now! And honestly, Shane, you're such a freaking hypocrite! Just STAY AWAY FROM ALEX!"

To his surprise, Shane let out a jerky and short laugh. Nate's eyes narrowed, but Shane didn't flinch.

"I wondered when you were gonna say that," Shane chuckled, but he didn't really seem to find it funny. "This isn't about me, or Mitchie. God Nate, you're so _BLIND_! You don't get it at _all_, do you?"

Nate's pulse quickened, but he didn't back away. "Get _what_?" he snarled.

"Oh God, Nate! Do you honestly think that Alex needs your _protection_!? Do you think you've been doing a good job of that lately? Do you think you're doing her a _favor_ by asking me to stay away from her? Fine Nate, then _YOU _help her, for God's sake! Open your damn eyes!"

"Open my _eyes_?" Nate laughed, but it came out shaky and unsure. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? No, forget it. I need to go talk to Alex," he muttered, but Shane shoved him away as he turned to walk back towards the rehearsal hall. Nate's eyes blazed but Shane held him back, his hands firmly gripping his shoulders.

"Don't you _dare_. I'm getting so _tired_ of this, Nate. I can't even believe how clueless you're being. I'm not going to talk about your feelings, even though I know exactly what they are _– _even if you might not. But God, think about Alex! You think you're protecting her, you think you're being a best friend. You've got it all wrong, Nate. You're hurting her, every single time you talk to her, every single time you look at her and _don't _realize what's standing RIGHT in front of you! And damn it, Nate, she's my friend too. That's all I'm being, even if you think it's more _– _seriously, would you be feeling this jealous if all you felt for her was _friendship_!? Obviously, you don't even know what that means, because I'm being a hell of a better friend to your _best friend_ than you've been being lately."

"I _– _I'm not JEALOUS, and I'm not _hurting_ her, God, let me go TALK TO HER! She's my _best friend_, I'm NOT hurting her! I don't even know what you mean, Shane, cut it out with the cryptic shit, LET ME GO!"

"Nate, you had so many chances to talk to her. You don't even know what she goes through, every single day. To watch you _– _and Mitchie, do you know how must feel? And you know what, you're right about one thing. She's the best friend you could ever ask for, because she wants what's best for you. Even it ruins her, she wants you to be happy, and I don't understand it in the slightest, but you're so goddamn lucky to have her and you can't even see that."

"Shane, just _– I need to talk to her!_ Isn't that what you want!? I know I spend more time with Mitchie, but I can fix that! I DON'T FREAKING KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! Just let me GO, she IS my best friend, she knows that, she loves me, I would _never_ hurt her."

Slowly, Shane's grip slackened on Nate, and he slid out of his grasp. He hesitated for a moment and then started to turn towards the rehearsal hall before Shane opened his mouth to speak.

"You're right Nate. She does love you," he whispered, and Nate stopped in his tracks, his breath caught in his throat and his back turned to Shane.

"I don't think you wanted to see it, but it's true. I wasn't going to say anything, because I thought maybe you would figure it out on your own _– _but obviously not. I'm not going to sit here and let you hurt her even more, let you leave without knowing. And you know what else?"

Nate didn't answer, but his silence said enough.

"You love her too Nate, even if you can't stop for a second to see it."

Nate's clenched fists loosened as his hands dropped to his sides, his mouth suddenly dry. He bit down hard on his lip, shaking his head.

"You love her."


	22. Apologize

**A/N: **Okay. I suck. I wouldn't blame you if you absolutely hate this chapter with all your heart. My writing sucks (x a million) right now, but I wanted to just finish this chapter. This story seems to just get increasingly cheesy, and idk how to fix it! And yet again, I apologize for how SLOW this story is. I promise it picks up in the very next chapter. I know you were hoping for action, what with Nate's realization - but you'll have to wait just a _little_ bit longer, please! (I know you already waited forever for this chapter, I'm sorry!) I love you all. :)

Thank you for not sending me hate mail (:P) about the wait on this chapter, I really appreciate that. I've realized that this is the one story I let myself be as cheesy/dramatic as I want (which is a lot!) and you guys are always sweet about it, even if this story might suck. So thanks - I'll continue being cheesy until this story is over. ;)

Now - check this out, _ScribblesofLove_ made me a siiiiicccckk banner. Really. It's adorable x). Here's the link (deletethespaces :D) --

**http://www. flickr .com/photos/scribblesoflove/3521853460/**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Don't Forget_ by Demi Lovato or _You Just Don't Know It_ by JB (I just added a totally unnecessary lame last verse. :D)

Song of the chapter this time was suggested by a reader and it fits brilliantly - thank you Yanelly! Don't forget to listen to the lyrics - Beyoncé has one heck of a voice. Credit for Alex's song goes to JB (I had to :P) and Katie, for picking it out. Thank you to both of you! ;)

* * *

**Song of the Chapter: **_Halo - Beyoncé_

* * *

**Everything We've Known**_  
Chapter 22 - Apologize_

Nate stood motionless for a long time, trying to wrap his head around Shane's words.

_You love her_.

He almost laughed, but it came out sounding choked and strangled. His breath came out ragged and he realized he had been screaming at Shane only seconds before – and yet now he couldn't find anything to say. He turned slowly, afraid to look Shane in the eye. He let another laugh loose, and this time it was shaky and defensive.

"Of – of course she loves me, and of course I love her," he whispered, stalling. "She's my best friend, right?"

"I get how you could have missed _her_ feelings toward you," Shane said slowly, "She's been hiding it as best as she can. For your sake, for Mitchie's. So even though I think you're a blind jerk – I get that part. But what I don't get is how you overlooked your own."

Nate swallowed, but remained silent. _His own feelings? What the hell was Shane talking about?_

But another conflicting voice crept into his head, mocking him. _You know exactly what Shane is talking about _– _you've known for a while now. _

The other voice, the more rational voice that spoke his own opinions, fought back. In any other circumstances, Nate would have found the whole "voices fighting in his head" thing rather amusing – and yet in these circumstances, they just made his head spin even more. 

_No, actually, I don't know what Shane is talking about. But since you're so "conveniently" inside my head, would you care to enlighten me?_

Nate expected the other voice to scoff or sneer at his sarcasm, but it did no such thing. Maybe he really was going crazy. After all, here he was, basically having an argument with…himself. Inside his own head.

_You can't deny that you've thought about it, _the voice reasoned, _Nate and Alex, Alex and Nate _–_ it just makes _sense_. And what about on Nalex day – you thought about it then, didn't you? And in the mess hall, and today when you saw her with Shane. You think about it all the time, even though you don't want to._

_I don't think about it! _Nate yelped inside his head, _I've never thought about it! YOU think about it, not ME!_

The other voice was silent, and Nate almost breathed a sigh of relief. This was getting _too_ weird. He hadn't been getting a lot of sleep lately – maybe he needed to go take a nap or something. He looked up and realized that Shane was still standing there, staring at him strangely. He rubbed his forehead and tried to think of something to say when the voice suddenly spoke once more.

_You are an idiot, aren't you?_

Nate flinched. Insults coming at him from _inside_ his brain? Now that just wasn't fair!

_First of all, you can't call ME an idiot. You ARE me, in a sense. So when you call me an idiot, you're calling yourself an idiot too. _Nate sighed. This was exhausting – and ridiculous.

To his surprise, the voice in his head sighed as well. _Yes,_ the voice said, _Yes, I realize that we are the same people, and thus we're both idiots. But you do realize that means that it's not just "me" thinking about you and Alex, don't you?_

And with that, the voice silenced itself, and Nate bit down hard on his lip.

"That's not –" he muttered before realizing he'd spoken the words aloud.

Shane frowned. "That's not what, Nate? That's not _true_? Is that what you were going to say? Because you're an idiot if you deny that she loves you."

Nate groaned silently. Why did everyone have to keep calling him an idiot? Okay, so maybe he was. But Alex, loving _him_? This was _Alex_ they were talking about. Alex, the one who skipped class to stay at home with him when he was sick and his parents were out of town – and then managed to make even a can of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup taste absolutely disgusting. Alex, the one who borrowed his hoodies for months at a time and returned them smelling like strawberry shampoo and summer. Alex – over-competitive, stubborn, outrageous. Alex, as in his best friend.

Nate grabbed onto the nearest tree for support, swaying slightly on his feet. Half of him thought it was all some sick trick they were playing on him. None of it made sense, how could it? And yet, another confused, twisted part of him wanted so badly to believe it. It was irrational. He had Mitchie, he loved her, he did. It was selfish. Alex deserved better, Mitchie deserved better, he deserved less. God, why was everything so messed up? And how had he not seen it before? Shane was right. He hadn't wanted to see it. Maybe he was afraid to see it. But everything pointed to it, if he thought about it hard enough. The stares, not talking to him, hanging out with Shane…he'd hurt her, he'd been hurting her all along.

He opened his mouth and a question came spilling out, his voice hoarse.

"But…why? Why does she like me?"

Shane laughed harshly. His voice sounded bitter, but there was an underlying tone of worry.

"Do you think I know that? I wish I could talk her out of it, help her in some way. _She's_ even tried to talk herself out of it, everyday. The way I see it, you haven't given her much reason to like you—" Shane's voice trailed off, and Nate bent his head down in shame as Shane began again, his voice quieter than before. "And yet, for some strange, unknown reason, she does."

Nate tried to find something to say to that, but nothing seemed to fit.

"I – you must be joking me, Shane. Why – why now? What about Mitchie? God, they're _best friends_! Everything was going so well, I was so happy, I –"

Shane raised an eyebrow as he cut in. "Were you? You were _happy_, Nate? Because it sure looked like you were pretty hurt to me."

"No!" Nate cried out frantically, "_No_, I was happy, I love Mitchie, I do! I – I _am _happy."

Shane frowned slightly, looking away as he said, "So then none of this matters to you? You love Alex as a friend, and as nothing more?"

"I – " Nate paused, caught off guard, before he said, "No – no, of course it matters, I –" He kicked at a stone as he wrung his hands and whispered, "I don't know."

To Nate's surprise, Shane gave him a hard look and then nodded. "Okay."

Nate gulped. He'd been preparing himself for a strict lecture, a protest, another screaming fit—anything but this. _Okay?_

"I guess there's nothing we can do about this, then. You love them both, I understand. But at some point, Nate, you're going to have to make a decision—and if you don't do anything about it, well, that's a decision too. So don't get me wrong, because I'm not trying to pressure you into anything. I just don't want to see anybody hurt; not Mitchie, and not Alex."

Nate swallowed dryly again, but still couldn't find anything to say that might fit. He didn't want to hurt them either, couldn't Shane see that? But there was no way to fix this without hurting at least one of them. He opened his mouth in attempt to say something, but Shane beat him to it.

"I've learned a lot about Alex these past few weeks. And more than anything else, I've realized how much she really cares. If you're happy with Mitchie, she's happy. She's strong—stronger than you know, Nate. And she will get over you if she has to, and she'll find someone better. One day, she's going to get what she deserves."

A sharp pain lashed at Nate as an image of Alex smiling, her hand looped in another faceless boy's flashed in his head. He bit back a "_NO!_" from escaping from his throat. He wanted that for Alex. And Nate, well, what could he do for Alex? For a moment, a few weeks back, he'd thought maybe he might like her too. Love her, even. But he couldn't make her happy, not like another boy could. He'd hurt her enough, and he hadn't even known. He couldn't just go on hurting his very best friend. But what was he supposed to do?

He desperately tried one last time to find something else that might make sense to Shane. But the only thing that made sense anymore, the only thing he knew for sure didn't help the situation at all.

"I… I do love her, Shane. I just…"

Shane nodded again. "Yeah, Nate, okay. I get it. You love her—just not enough."

Nate opened his mouth to protest as his head spun, but Shane had already turned and was walking back up the hill to the recording studio.

* * *

Shane made his way up to the rehearsal hall, wondering if he'd done the right thing by telling Nate. It was so typical of him, to not be able to make a choice. _One step forward, _Shane thought, _Two steps back_. But he had to do it—he couldn't let Nate just keep hurting Alex like that. He just hoped that Alex wouldn't be mad at him for telling Nate her secret.

Slowly, he pulled open the door to the recording studio, unclenching his fists and catching his breath.

"Check it out, Shane, I finished the last verse!" Alex grinned, waving a sheet of paper at him as he entered the back room.

Shane managed a smile, walking toward her. "Lemme see," he said, forcing a grin on his face. He took the sheet of paper out of Alex's hands, reading the last verse of the lyrics which they had struggled to complete.

_I wouldn't take the memories back  
'Cause every one is like a secret  
Painful, fading, I won't let go  
It hurts yeah, but I don't regret_

_I hold my secrets close to my heart  
And so you, that's where you are_

Shane let his hand fall to his side, making sure the grin was still forced on his face. His hand shook slightly as he passed the paper to Alex, nodding.

"It's…perfect, Alex. Are—are you sure you want to sing it in Brown's class?"

Alex nodded, looking Shane in the eye. "Positive."

Shane kept the smile on his face, but he didn't know what else he could do. Nate would know the song was about him. But Alex wanted to sing this song, and she had every right to. It would hurt Nate to know how much pain he'd put Alex through—but Alex had gone through so much more.

"I know they're kind of…rough. But those were the only ones that I could come up with—do you think they're okay?"

Shane looked up with a start. "Yeah, of course, Alex. It's gonna be amazing."

Alex smiled. "Thanks, Shane." She paused momentarily, and then looked back at him. "So, what was up with Nate? He ran off so fast…did he say anything?"

She looked concerned, but Shane knew what she was really asking. _Did Nate say anything about me? _Shane wanted so badly for her to get over him, and yet another part of him realized that it just didn't work like that. And sure, sometimes his brother was a total jerk—but something about the two of them was just…right. But if it was right, why wasn't this easier?

"Um," Shane bit his lip, waiting for something to help him find the right thing to say. "He…"

Alex stared, waiting warily.

Shane wanted to tell the truth, he did. But how could he tell Alex that he'd given away what she'd been trying so hard to hide this whole summer? And then there was the bigger question—how could he tell Alex that Nate knew she loved him—and that Nate didn't know what he felt about her? It would break her. So he told himself that he had to keep doing what he'd been doing all summer, he had to protect Alex.

"It—it was nothing. He just…" Shane paused again, and then the words came more easily. "He just wanted advice for the dance, that's all."

Alex nodded and looked away, but Shane saw the millisecond of disappointment in her eyes. And yet, that was better than the truth, wasn't it?

* * *

The days passed by quickly now, and Shane and Alex spent every single second of their spare time together practicing for the performance. Shane was at least glad for this, for a number of reasons. If they'd had more free time, Alex would have noticed that Nate was avoiding her. This was partly because Nate didn't know what to think of it all, didn't know what to say. But it was also because he was scared of being around her because he knew that he was hurting her. That was the last thing Nate wanted, even though he'd been doing it all along.

Shane also hoped that maybe Alex would be able to realize she could go on without Nate, if necessary. She'd been preparing herself for it, even though she didn't want to have to do so. But the truth loomed over them—the summer was almost over. And all of a sudden it was the day of the performance, and then that night would be the dance. Shane couldn't understand how time had passed so quickly—and for the first time he realized that _he_ would have to say goodbye to everyone as well.

He walked into Brown's class with his acoustic guitar in hand, looking around the familiar class as a wave of sorrow hit him. This was the last time he'd be in Brown's class, and his last week at Camp Rock. He took a stool in the corner of the room, watching the happy campers in silence. At that moment, Alex and Mitchie entered together, the door opening with a bang. They giggled as they clattered in, beaming at each other.

Shane smiled in spite of himself, realizing that he hadn't seen the two of them hanging out with just each other for quite some time. They balanced each other out, in more ways than one. They both deserved boys who would make them smile like they were doing right now. Shane wondered briefly if Nate and Mitchie had been spending all their time together over the past week. He wondered if Nate could make Mitchie smile like that.

Just as he thought this, Nate stepped in as Alex and Mitchie were approaching Shane. Mitchie noticed and turned, but Alex didn't seem to realize his presence as she grinned and grabbed a seat next to Shane. He grinned back and gave her a quick hug before she took her guitar nervously out of its case and immersed herself in her music. Shane took the opportunity to look over at Nate just as he placed a tentative kiss on Mitchie's forehead. She hugged him before they took a seat, but Shane noticed that they both seemed disconnected, far away. He couldn't understand the blank, vacant expressions on both of their faces that suggested that neither of them were really _there_. Nate grasped Mitchie's hand as if he needed reassurance—but Shane saw the look in his eyes that said he didn't really need Mitchie; he just needed _someone_.

He was broken out of his thoughts as Brown clapped his hands together and announced that it was time to get started. Shane listened half-heartedly as the first group stepped to the front of the class and sang an a capella song that couldn't hold his attention. Alex continued to ruffle her sheet music in front of her, mumbling the lyrics to herself under her breath. He smiled at the sight of this side of Alex, one he wasn't used to. She hardly ever got nervous—and even if she did, she was usually pretty good at hiding it. He grinned and took her hand, squeezing it gently as the class started to clap and the next group was introduced.

"Don't worry, Lex. We've only practiced this, I don't know, about a thousand times?"

Alex chuckled, but her hand shook slightly in his and he squeezed it a little harder. "It's gonna be great."

She smiled and whispered a thank you to him as Lola stepped up to perform another R&B song she'd written with Sander and Barron. This one managed to hold Shane's interest for a full minute before he zoned out again, and he was brought back when the class burst into applause. As Brown praised them and announced the next group, Shane gave up entirely on trying to focus on the performances and let his thoughts wander. Before he knew it, Mitchie was standing up from her seat, getting ready to perform as Brown announced that he and Alex were up after her.

He felt Alex tense beside him and he muttered, "Relax," one last time.

"Shane, what if…what if Nate and Mitchie know what I'm singing about?" Alex whispered.

Shane chuckled quietly, but he knew that Nate would definitely know what the song was about—there was no avoiding that. As for Mitchie—well, maybe it was better for her to know. Shane had a feeling that she did know, deep down, but she didn't want to see the truth either. None of them did, not a single one of them.

"Maybe…maybe that's better, Alex. Maybe you should think of this as your…chance to let them know what you feel. Sing it _to_ them, _for_ them."

"Sing it _to_ them?" Alex gaped, "How am I—I…" she sighed, and then nodded. "Okay. But if I chicken out and stop singing in the middle of the song, you better do something to distract everyone, Gray."

Shane laughed. "Okay, Lex. I'll do the chicken dance and play the guitar with my toes if I have to."

Alex grinned and let him take her hand again as they turned forward to smile at Mitchie, who was sliding into the stool and holding her guitar nervously.

She strummed the first tentative chords and Shane felt Alex relax slightly from the familiar notes. Shane remembered when Mitchie had first written this song a year ago, after a hard break-up. And yet even now, a year later, she sang it with so much emotion that Shane had to wonder.

_Did you forget_  
_That I was even alive  
Did you forget  
Everything we ever had  
Did you forget  
Did you forget  
About me_

Shane saw Alex bite her lip out of the corner of his eye, but he kept his gaze on Mitchie. She closed her eyes for a moment, and then turned slowly and unexpectedly to face Nate.

_But now I guess  
This is where we have to stand  
Did you regret  
Ever holding my hand  
Never again  
Please don't forget  
Don't forget_

_We had it all  
We were just about to fall  
Even more in love  
Than we were before  
I won't forget it  
I won't forget  
About us_

Nate returned Mitchie's gaze, shaking slightly. He knew Mitchie had written this song a year ago—and yet it scared him to hear her sing it today, as if it were about him. He wanted to stand up and tell her that he hadn't forgotten, he could never forget, but he just…didn't know what to do. Did he regret ever holding her hand? _No_, he didn't. He just didn't know if he could do it _anymore_.

The song came to a close and Nate applauded slowly with the rest of the class, who looked a little shocked. Mitchie set her guitar down carefully and looked away from the class, stepping quickly to her seat beside Nate. She sat down silently, not meeting Nate's eye when he congratulated her quietly. She looked almost on the verge of tears, and Nate couldn't understand if this was about the song—or about him. Either way, he looked away, not wanting to see her like that. He clenched his fists (something he'd been doing too much lately) as Brown stepped up.

"A heartfelt performance from our very own Mitchie Torres," he smiled, "and now we've got our last group of the day—Shane and Alex! Before they go, I want to let you guys know how much fun I've had this summer. Have fun tonight at the dance, and I'll see you all at Final Jam!"

Nate saw Alex jump and tighten her grip on Shane's hand. Nate tensed involuntarily when he saw this, his jaws clamping together. He waited as Shane and Alex made their way to the front of the class, sitting down in their stools. Alex looked at the audience warily, her skin pale and ghostly. Nate tried to catch her eye but her gaze skimmed almost deliberately over his, as if she was trying not to look at him. Which was what Nate _should_ be doing—he wasn't supposed to hurt her anymore.

"Yeah Alex, you've got this!" Mitchie cheered, almost making Nate jump out of his seat. He turned to look at his girlfriend, whose face was set determinedly towards Alex, looking at her encouragingly. If anything, Alex looked even paler at these words, but she nodded in Mitchie's direction and picked up her guitar. Nate saw Alex turn one last time to Shane and mouth something that looked distinctly like, "chicken dance". Nate frowned but Shane seemed to understand as he smiled at Alex and the two of them began to strum together, their acoustic guitars humming throughout the small room. Nate leaned forward on the edge of his seat, clasping his hands together in anticipation.

_You just don't know it__  
But it's getting hard to say hello  
__You just don't know it  
I'm on the edge of crossing the line_

_I don't wanna blow it, or show it__  
Before you know you're mine  
You just don't know it_

Nate's entire body had frozen as he stared at Alex, who was singing quietly along with Shane. Her voice trembled slightly and for that moment, Nate only heard her voice and not the words which it formed. She looked carefully down at her guitar and a strand of hair fell in her face, blocking her eyes. Nate willed her to look up at him, but she continued to strum quietly until the song broke out into the chorus.

_Oh,  
You won't see me break  
__Won't make that mistake, oh no  
__I'll just walk away  
__There's too much at stake right now  
I go on and on  
Singing this song about you__  
And that's what's wrong with this song_

Alex's voice built in volume through the chorus as she felt her courage growing, and slowly she looked up from her guitar to stare out at the audience. She glanced over at Mitchie first, whose eyes had grown wide as she listened to the words of the song. Alex stumbled over a chord because of the look on Mitchie's face, but Shane's guitar overpowered hers for the moment and she took a deep breath before launching into the next verse, the one that meant the most to her.

_Can you feel it?  
__In the way I look at you  
Boy, can you hear it?__  
I'm crying out inside__  
I don't wanna see you, be near you  
You're a million miles too close_

For the first time, Alex looked away from her guitar and Mitchie and her eyes landed directly on Nate's. His breath caught as he stared right at her, wishing desperately that he couldn't hear the words of this song. All of it was to him, he knew it. And it hurt so much more to hear it straight from Alex that he had been hurting her than it did to hear it from Shane. This was real, and the song seared through him with a constant, throbbing pain. He wanted to break eye contact with Alex, make the pain stop, but her gaze held fast and he couldn't look away. He owed her at least that.

_Oh,  
You won't see me break  
__Won't make that mistake, oh no  
__I'll just walk away  
__There's too much at stake right now  
_

_You don't know the way I feel  
So I'll stay alone_

_I wouldn't take the memories back  
'Cause every one is like a secret  
Painful, fading, I won't let go  
It hurts yeah, but I don't regret_

_I hold my secrets close to my heart  
And so you, that's where you are__  
You don't know the way I feel  
So we'll stay apart_

_We'll stay apart._

A silence fell over the room as Alex played the last chord and whispered the last words into the microphone, the words that sent a chill down Nate's spine. His eyes stayed locked on Alex's, even though he wanted more than anything to pull them away. All of a sudden he felt like he was going to throw up, like too many thoughts and feelings were pressing up against the back of his throat. He stood up abruptly, unsteady on his feet.

The class broke into slow applause, but Alex didn't acknowledge this. Shane remained seated, and a few followed Alex's expressionless gaze to the back of the room, where Nate stood. Blood rushed through him and for that moment he forgot that there was anybody in the room besides him and Alex, staring at him with those eyes.

"I—" he muttered, and the room fell silent once more.

"Alex," he whispered, his voice steadying as he met her gaze once more, "I'm sorry, Allie."

And then his legs propelled him towards the door as he shoved himself through the entrance and sprinted away, never wanting to have to apologize to those eyes again.

* * *

**a/n ii: **i told you. it sucks. i would love you if you reviewed despite that utter suckage? ;)

shout-outs to: **_williamswheelbarrel_** ('cause Katie's fantastic & she gave me the most creative review i've ever received) - **_Jellybellybean101_** (hey Brennan, Miss Sap ;P) - **_LaPaige_** (i don't understand why you like my stories, Paige, but that's why i love YOU!) – **_xXfanaticofyouXx_** (new reader! thaaank you for your reviews :D) - **_natasha11892_** (because she can relate and she's a sweetheart!) - and all of the rest of you beautiful people i didn't mention (including Mollie, evershort, Faith, so so so many more).


	23. Lie to Me

**a/n: **Hiya, my favorite people. :P A few things to cover today:

1.) Guess what? Jason is in this chapter, hurray! Keep in mind that in this, he isn't the space-case CR made him – I wrote him more like Kev. Basically the characters are all like their real-life counterparts, but called by their CR names to be legal. We can just pretend they're ridiculously OOC, ;).

2.) I really hope you like this chapter - and sorry it took so long! It's not my best, and it's rushed - I really hope you don't hate it. Please, _please_ let me know what you think. The drama isn't over yet, even after this chapter – but this fic _is_ nearing the end. I can't believe I'm almost done – I never thought I'd actually finish. I'll admit it was really hard for me to keep it going at times, but you guys are the reason why I continue. Thank you to every single one of you.

3.) As for the song of the chapter, it really corresponds mostly to the beginning of this chapter. It is really a beautiful song though, so do check it out! Otherwise, enjoy the chapter!

* * *

**Song of the Chapter: **_Broken Strings - James Morrison ft. Nelly Furtado_

_

* * *

_

**Everything We've Known  
**_Chapter 23 – Lie to Me  
_

Alex watched Nate dash out of the door, all eyes following him on his way. The once silent room suddenly went abuzz, hushed whispers filling the air. But none of this was heard by Alex, who simply continued to stare at the spot where Nate had been standing only seconds before. She froze in her spot, and she felt certain that if she weren't so numb, she'd be able to feel her heart breaking a little bit. Instead, she felt rather distant and far away, the sounds of the classroom sounding like echoes.

"Alex?"

She was broken out of her reverie as she turned to stare at Shane, who was standing up from his stool as he set his guitar on the floor. Brown was in the back, desperately trying to get everyone's attention, and Jason was approaching the front of the classroom. Alex blinked up at Shane and bit her lip, staring questioningly at him.

"Do—" she paused, gathering her thoughts. "Do you know…what just happened?"

Slowly, Shane looked down at the floor. Jason had somehow made his way to their side, and Alex turned her confused glance from Shane to him.

"Jase…Tell me you know what that was about?"

Jason opened his mouth and then shut it again, shaking his head slowly. "Not a clue."

"He's…_sorry? _What did he mean—" Alex started, but Shane reached up mid-sentence and grabbed her wrist, catching her eye.

"I told him."

"What?" Alex laughed uneasily, looking from Shane to Jason and then back again. "You told him what, Shane?"

"I didn't mean to, Lex. But I knew I would have to eventually—someone had to. You were just going to let him keep hurting you, Alex. I'm sorry that I told, I really am. But…I'm not sorry he knows."

Alex's eyes widened as she shook her head, begging somebody to tell her it wasn't true. Shane looked back at her, with an expression half-filled with regret, the other half set with determination.

"You…you told him I _like_ him?" Alex whispered, and all she could hear was Nate's apology, ringing in her ears over and over again.

"Alex, I—"

Before he could even answer, Alex closed her eyes, feeling sick. She didn't want to hear it—she never wanted to hear it. What did it matter anymore? Nate already said he was sorry. _Sorry? _Sorry for hurting her? Sorry for not feeling the same way? Sorry that no matter how much Alex loved him, it wouldn't matter?

Sorry for nothing. Sorry for everything.

She stepped back and her wrist fell limply from Shane's grip, tears pricking at her eyes and her throat swelling. She felt like throwing up and so she turned around violently, trying to run away.

Instead, she stopped dead in her tracks as she slowly looked up to stare at Mitchie, who stood silently in front of her. A small, unsteady smile shook on her lips as she looked back at Alex, tears brimming over the edge of her lids to match Alex's.

"Mitchie…" Alex breathed, her hands shaking. "Mitchie, I—"

Mitchie's smile tore a little at the seams and she looked away. A little piece of her felt as if it was breaking as she turned back to face Alex, the smile still wavering. She shook her head and let out a loose, shaky laugh because she'd known it all along, she'd known and she'd still lied to herself.

"It's okay," she whispered, and once the words were out of her mouth she could believe them a little. "I wanted to believe it wasn't true but…I could see it too, Alex. I—I think I pretended I didn't know—God, you don't know how much I wanted to believe it was nothing."

"Mitchie…" Alex repeated, and she wished there was something, _anything_ she could say that would make things alright again. "I should have told you, I…"

Mitchie smiled weakly again and Alex wondered if she'd ever seen a smile look so heartbreaking.

"Even if you'd told me, I don't think—I don't know how I would have let go of him. I just…" her words trailed off and she let out another quiet, uneasy laugh that made Alex feel like crying. "I just wanted to believe that maybe, just _once_, things would have worked out and I would have gotten my happy ending."

"You can fix this," Alex cut in desperately, "I can fix this, _we_ can fix this. Go talk to him, tell him nothing has changed, everything will be fine—"

Mitchie looked up and Alex grabbed her hand, tears pouring out freely now.

"Please, Mitchie. This wasn't supposed to happen. It's not supposed to be like this—you and Nate, it's supposed to work, damn it, Mitchie! Please, don't let me be the one to ruin this…we can fix it, Mitchie, please…" she is sobbing by now and her words come out ragged, but she is begging Mitchie because this has to work, it _has_ to.

Mitchie squeezed Alex's hand, wrapped tightly around her own. She shook her head sadly as she slowly let go, watching Alex's arm fall to her side.

"You didn't ruin it, Alex. He's...he's never loved me as much as he loves you. And I can't—I can't go back and pretend that nothing has happened anymore. We can't fix it if there's nothing left to save."

And Alex watched as Mitchie gave her one last broken smile and turned out of the door, walking away.

* * *

Alex ran, her legs pounding out frustrations in a trail behind her, flying away in the dust. She ran, her heart skipping beats and her last tears spilling out into the air. Her legs propelled her forward until she couldn't breathe, but it still wasn't far enough. It would never be far enough, and she wished she could just fly away and not have to face any of this ever again. Her legs took her far from the classroom and past the mess hall, away from the rehearsal halls and her cabin. She collapsed into a heap at the edge of the campgrounds, the outskirts of the woods. She wished she could have gone to the dock, but that wasn't an option because everyone would find her there and the entire place reminded her of Nate.

She lay crumpled in the grass for a while, staring up at the sky. Her sobs subsided and she was left feeling hollow, emptied out. All of a sudden she got a crazy urge to laugh because the situation was just so ironic and she really wasn't the sort of girl who would run off into the woods to cry about a _boy_. She let a tiny giggle loose but it sounded fake and wrong and then all she wanted to do was cry all over again. An involuntary sigh escaped from her lips, echoing in the trees. She groaned and pulled herself up into a sitting position, thinking about staying here for the rest of the camp. She was wondering if anybody would ever find her here when she heard a crunch behind her, a misplaced step.

Her body stiffened as she spun around, looking for the source of the sound. A figure stepped out from behind a tree and her racing heart slowed, relieved.

"Jason?"

She felt herself smiling half-heartedly at the sheepish look on his face, and he immediately broke out into a grin at this. He slid down cross-legged in the grass next to her, leaning against a tree. Alex bit her lip and the two of them faced forward, looking out towards the campgrounds.

"I feel like I haven't seen you very much the whole time we've been here, Als."

He continued to stare straight out at the campground as he said this, as if not really needing an answer. Alex was expecting a question about if she was okay, how she felt—anything but this. Slowly, a tiny smile spread across her lips and she felt like wrapping her arms around Jason yet again, because he _always, always_ knew just what to say.

"Did you write the song?" he asked, and Alex blinked, tilting her head to the side.

"You know," he continued, "the song you just sang, with Shane. It was really good."

"Oh," Alex muttered, her heart sinking just a little, "yeah, we wrote it together." She swallowed, her throat dry as she whispered, "Thanks Jase."

He nodded, resting his chin on his hands as if in thought. "You're not mad at Shane, are you?"

Alex paused for a moment before shaking her head. No, she wasn't mad at Shane. Maybe all of this was a mess—but part of Alex felt unbelievably relieved that Nate knew. That this was off her chest, that it wasn't her secret anymore. It killed her to know that maybe she'd hurt people in the process, but she was done with hiding it now.

"No," she said, as if to confirm her shake of the head. "I'm not mad. It's impossible to be mad at that knucklehead anyway," she laughed quietly, trying to lighten the mood. "And…and I was tired of hiding."

Jason nodded again, turning slowly to face Alex. The corners of his eyelids crinkled as he smiled at her, and Alex couldn't help but to smile back.

"I'm glad he knows," he said, looking at her brightly. His smile dimmed a little, but he continued to look Alex straight in the eye. "Nate is…well, you know him better than I do. He's indecisive. He's polite, unsure, oblivious, too careful, and sometimes, flat out dumb."

Alex laughed at this, and yet for some reason she still felt like crying. Jason looked down at his hands, but he didn't seem to be finished talking.

"He's a people-pleaser. He wants to do the right thing, and he wants everyone to like him. He wants people to be happy with him, he wants people to look up to him. He's insecure. He hates people who don't try, hates people who don't value what they have. He lives by rules, and he can't stand chaos." Jason looked up from his hands slowly, catching Alex's eye. "He regrets a lot of things. Sometimes he's too scared, and he misses out on opportunities. He doesn't know what he really wants in life, and he's afraid of the future. And yet, you'd never guess those things, because he covers all of it up. He doesn't let anybody in—but all of that, all of those things," Jason paused, "all of that changes when it comes to you, Alex."

Alex's breath hitched in her throat, and she wished with all of her heart that the things that Jason was saying were true. She wished these things could be right, that she could believe them.

"It's okay if you don't believe me," he said simply, and Alex wondered how one person could understand her so well. "I don't think you will. But I know Nate, and I know you, Als."

A lump formed in Alex's throat again and she hated herself for constantly feeling like crying. She looked away so the tears wouldn't fall and she waited for Jason to keep talking.

"Hey Alex?"

She didn't think she could form a coherent response at the moment, so she just nodded swiftly to show she had heard.

"You know, there's only a week left of camp. Tonight's the dance, and then before you know it, camp will be over and we'll be leaving for LA."

Alex closed her eyes and she wished he wouldn't say these things to her, not now, not ever. It hurt now to swallow and something burned at the back of her throat. She pressed her hands together, digging her nails into her skin until it hurt.

"I wish we didn't have to leave, Alex," Jason whispered, and those words were all it took to send Alex over the edge. Tears spilled hotly over her cheeks, running down silently as she turned even further away from Jason. She wished there was some way to stop this—she'd thought she ran out of tears on her way over here.

"But you know that means that you only have one week to say everything you have left to say, right?"

Alex didn't dare respond, because she knew that she'd start bawling if she did. She wanted to ask him what he meant by this, but he seemed to understand without her saying and he continued in explanation.

"I mean, with Nate. You aren't going to leave things like this, are you Alex?"

Alex turned slowly, and Jason didn't seem to be surprised by the number of tears rolling down her face. He looked at her sadly and then wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer. Alex was tugged towards him in one swift motion and suddenly she was sobbing all over again, her breath coming out in gasps and her face buried in Jason's sweatshirt. He rubbed her back and hummed softly, rocking back and forth. She closed her eyes and let herself relax, let herself forget about everything for a moment. And when the tears had come to a stop and she lifted her head up from Jason's shoulder, she felt a little bit better.

"You're right," she whispered, and Jason chuckled.

"I'm always right, aren't I?" he joked, and Alex groaned. "What am I right about this time?"

"You're right that I can't leave things like this. But…what do you expect me to do, Jase?"

He smiled as she pulled away carefully, staring at him as if looking for an answer. His smile grew a little bit wider as he ruffled her hair. "I'm not _expecting_ you to do anything, Alex. But—you did say that you were sick of hiding."

Alex looked at him confusedly, furrowing her brow. He grinned and got up to his feet, grabbing Alex's hand and pulling her to her feet.

"Come on," he smiled at her encouragingly, "you can't keep hiding anymore, Alex."

And with that, he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze as he pulled her along, dragging her out of the forest and towards the campgrounds.

* * *

They came to a stop in front of Jason, Shane, and Nate's cabin, with Alex fighting desperately against Jason's pulling. She tried hopelessly to pry his hands from hers, staring up at him with pleading eyes.

"Jason—I can't. Not yet, what am I going to say? What is there to say, what's left?"

Jason shrugged slowly, letting go of Alex's hand.

"If you want to run, go. I'm not going to stop you, Lex. And I don't know what you should say—you're on your own there. But I do know that before you loved him, he was your best friend. And that, that always comes first, Alex."

Alex gaped. Part of her brain was screaming at her to just run away, that she couldn't do it. But God, why did Jason always know the right thing to do? Everyone really underestimated him—when it came to people, he was probably the smartest person Alex knew. And even if this was the last thing she _wanted_ to do, it was the first thing she _had_ to do.

"Just talk to him like your friend, Alex. I know you have something to say to your best friend." And then he was walking away, leaving Alex alone at the doorstep. Alex almost called out after him, wanting to beg him to stay with her. She sighed as she stared up at the cabin, which had never looked more intimidating.

_Now or never, _she thought to herself, _he leaves in a week, Alex. _All of a sudden, that truth seemed to hit her harder than usual. One week. Did she have anything to say to Nate, her friend?

_Yes_, she thought, and she wasn't sure if she had said it out loud or not. _Yeah, I have a lot to say to you, Nate. I'm so mad at you, you know that? I have to tell you that you're a blind, idiotic fool. I have to let you know that I cried over you, can you believe it? I went through so much pain, pain caused by the last person I ever thought would hurt me. And somehow, I guess, I love you anyway. I have to tell you that, too, because you need to hear it from me. I have to thank you for trying, for making Mitchie happy for a while, for sticking with me through all these years, for being my best friend. I have to tell you that I'll miss you. I hope I can forget the pain – but I hope I never forget you, Nate. I have to remind you to never forget me._

She twisted the doorknob and stepped into the cabin, determined—and then she saw Nate, sitting wearily on his bunk, and all the things she had to say to him flew straight out of her head. She felt like she was being tugged in all different directions, and there were too many things she wanted to say at once. She wanted to say she loved him, but she also wanted to say she couldn't stand him. She wanted to cry, to hug him, to hear him say that everything would be okay. He looked up sharply and stared at her, jumping up.

"Alex…" he whispered, and something like anger bubbled up inside her. It hurt to even look at him, and yet he looked like he was ready to cry too. Part of her believed that he deserved that, that he should feel the pain too—and yet she couldn't convince herself of that completely, and she hated that she didn't want to see him hurt. _He's hurt you, _a voice muttered within her, _isn't it only right that you hurt him a little too? _

And then before she could think it through, words were flinging themselves out from her mouth.

"How _could_ you, Nate?" she whispered, and her voice came out sounding accusing, heavy, and weighted. "In front of all those people—in front of _Mitchie? _You don't feel the same way, I get it. But how _dare_ you apologize?"

"Alex? But that's not it, I-I'm sorry, Allie, I—"

"I'm not done. And didn't I say not to apologize? Not to me, damn it Nate, what about to Mitchie? Aren't you sorry for her, aren't you going to fix it?"

"I _am_ sorry, Alex, for Mitchie, for you, for everything I've done. I—I had no idea I was hurting you this whole time…how could I have not seen?"

Alex groaned loudly, throwing her hands up in the air. "I don't know, Nate, how could you? I asked myself that _all freaking summer_," she spat, hitting him in the shoulder to emphasize each word. "And…and now you're _leaving_, you're leaving for Hollywood and…" her voice trailed off, the anger slowly deflating, sort of like air escaping from a balloon.

"You're leaving for Hollywood without me and…wh—what am I going to do, Nate?" She had been hitting him only seconds before, and now she was practically ready to cry beside him. Her hands stopped in the air, which had been raised in position to hit him again. She lowered them, defeated, and Nate caught them as they fell.

"Why—why didn't you tell me, Alex?"

Alex looked up at him in surprise, and then down at her hands, captured in his. She focused on the warmth wrapped around her fingers and closed her eyes, thinking of an answer to the question.

"I wanted to tell you," she whispered, sitting down slowly on Nate's bunk, "I tried to. But then…Mitchie, and…I couldn't, Nate. She's my best friend—and you're my best friend. I couldn't do that, not to my two best friends."

"But…Allie, if you had just told me…" Nate paused, taking a deep breath, "it wouldn't have been like this. I—I would never have hurt you. Maybe, maybe I could have even—"

Alex cut him off, shaking her head. "Don't say it," she breathed, "please Nate, don't say it. We're friends, best friends. _Just_ friends. You have Mitchie, you still have her, you can fix it. All of this—all of this _pain,_ this pretending, lying to myself—it can't come down to nothing, Nate. It can't have been for no reason. You love Mitchie, and she loves you. Please say you'll fix it, for me, Nate."

She stared up at him, pleading him. Tears threatened to fall again, but she wouldn't let them, not this time. She couldn't.

"You…you want me to fix things with Mitchie?" he echoed, and it took all of Alex's strength to nod.

"Yes," she whispered, "I need you to fix everything. Tell me everything will work out, Nate. Lie to me."

He gaped at her, his eyes widening as her hands shook in his. She looked away from him, and he wanted to yell at her, shake her, tell her that nothing would work out like this—not like this. But she was asking him—begging him to fix things—and that's what he was supposed to do. That's what he always did, back when he was a real friend to her. How could he…turn her down?

Alex closed her eyes one last time and forced all her tears away. Not now, because he couldn't see her in pain anymore. She took a deep breath and she lifted her hands out of his even though it broke her to do so. She held them steady and then she looked Nate straight in the eye, with conviction. She needed to believe this, they both did.

She lowered her voice to a dull monotone and she made herself think of other things, anything but Nate when she said her next words.

"I don't love you, Nate. Not anymore—I…I don't." Her plan fell apart when her voice cracked and she stumbled over her words, and then she was begging him again, with more urgency.

"Promise me Nate, promise me you'll fix this. You'll talk to Mitchie, you'll make everything work. Promise…promise me," she faltered for a moment, and then she continued even more frantically.

"Please Nate—convince me this is a mistake. Convince me I've been wrong all along, convince me you're not right for me, you never will be. Convince me that I don't love you anymore."

Nate swallowed and it was like a knife, sharp against his throat. He slid down from his bunk to the floor, where he knelt, facing Alex. He looked up at her, holding her gaze carefully on his. He stared at her, through her, into her, trying to find what she wanted from him. There was nothing he could say, nothing that would be right. She was right not to love him. And yet, he looked at her and he was pretty sure that he loved her, more than he could comprehend. But she wanted so badly to not love him, for him to love Mitchie, and it was all enough to tear him to pieces. Loving her—it tore him to pieces.

His hands found their way up to the mattress, on either side of her knees. He pressed his weight on the mattress and sat up, bringing himself closer to her. He sighed slowly, and his cool breath swept across Alex's cheeks and eyelashes. She shivered slightly but sat frozen, afraid to move. She stopped breathing, her heart pounding inside her chest. He inched himself closer, until his eyes were inches from hers, reading her every thought. He took a long, slow breath, swallowing one last time.

"This is a mistake," he breathed quietly, and Alex's eyes locked on his, "you don't love me anymore."

And then he was leaning forward and closing the gap between them, his lips falling carelessly towards her with the lightest of movements. They graced airily over her cheeks, brushing weightlessly against her forehead, and then she was shivering beneath his touch. His lips danced over her eyelids, never landing, simply hovering. The room seemed to shrink around Alex and she was all too aware of every little noise, every last breath he took. She breathed in with him and suddenly his lips were on hers, pressing tenderly and holding her still. Alex's racing thoughts quieted as they melded together, his fingers cupping her chin. For those seconds, Alex forgot about everything, because none of it mattered. And then his lips were slowly pulling away from hers, feather-light and out of reach.

She opened her eyes and suddenly the reality of all of it rushed at her and she was standing before she could think it through. She brushed her fingers against her lips (_ohmygod, did that really just happen?_) and she took one last look at the apologetic look in his eyes before she ran out of the cabin, finally letting the pent-up tears fall.

* * *


	24. Four's Company, Five's a Crowd

**a/n: **first off - HEY! i've missed you guys incredibly, and i have to apologize for how long this chapter took. my friend was living in my house for about 2wks and then my family and i went on a road trip, so i didn't have any time to write. i hope you'll all understand, and you've all been really awesome and patient so far so i can't thank you enough. ;) as an apology, this chapter is really quite long (i tried to squeeze a lot in because so much is coming) - but on the down side, i didn't have time to edit so hopefully you guys find it okay. i also wanted to say sorry for not replying to every single one of your reviews this time - and i promise i will this time. your reviews mean the world to me.

also, thanks to _bluebubble112_, _xXfanaticofyouXx_, _faith8313, incywincyspider, natasha11892, williamswheelbarrel, xxHeadInTheStarsxx, _and more for consistently incredible reviews and kind words. know that even if i didn't mention you, i appreciate your support all the same. to _Liza, sushi, VegasJonasLuver, _and other anonymous reviewers i can't reply to: thank you as well. :) _x, cami_

* * *

**Song of the Chapter: **_Take a Breath - Jonas Brothers _(a lot of you suggested JB or Demi songs, so here you go! i know it's old school JB, but i'm sure you guys are fans of that. i actually tried really hard to incorporate the lyrics from this one throughout this chapter, so try listening to it and see if you can spot them tweaked a little and worked into the descriptions! let me know :P)

* * *

**Everything We've Known  
**_Chapter 24 - Four's Company, Five's a Crowd_

_Mitchie._

It rang through her ears as she sprinted away from the cabin, her own footsteps and the echoes of the name pounding in her head.

_Mitchie._

Oh my God – her very own best friend. She wasn't even sure which best friend she was thinking of at the moment, but all of it was wrong and they're both her best friends and how could she have done that? She continued to run mindlessly, as far as she could get from the cabin and she hated herself for it (it seemed that whenever she and Nate saw each other now, it ended with someone running) but how could she have stayed there? How could she have stayed there when she wanted to kiss him so badly and yet – it was just a pity kiss from him, a final memory for her to keep once she couldn't have him. It didn't mean anything, nothing more than an "I'm sorry" and "goodbye". And then there was the Mitchie factor, the screaming voice in the back of her head that told her to get away, to stop.

_Mitchie._

It was a mistake. And her last mistake, too. That was just closure, she told herself. And Nate will fix everything with Mitchie, she continued, trying to reassure herself that maybe this could be okay. She knew that Nate did it for her benefit, because after that he would go back to Mitchie (because he loved her, not because Alex told him to) and it would be as if Alex had never loved him. As if Alex wasn't in the picture. But for one instant there, she imagined sparks between her and Nate and thought that maybe he saw her the way she saw him. It seemed to be all she did in the past few weeks – saw things differently than they actually were, imagined things that weren't really there. She was really, really sick of it. She couldn't even wrap her head around why she put up with it, until she saw Nate and thought of everything they'd gone through and…

_Mitchie._

It was too confusing. Somehow she had ended up in front of her cabin again, and she couldn't go in there. She couldn't go there, and not to Nate's cabin – she couldn't go anywhere anymore. Where was she supposed to go from here? It was like she was always running, always, always, always. She slowed to a walk and headed towards the rehearsal halls. She'd been singing more and more lately – to a point where it had gotten almost unreasonable. She clenched her fists loosely at her sides, just focusing on putting one foot in front of the other. There came a point when she really wasn't interested in it anymore. She couldn't keep giving and giving, or she'd break. She hadn't broken yet, had she? No, she was still standing. She'd walk away – and she'd keep that last kiss from Nate, the parting gift he'd given her. She deserved that much. It was all from him she would keep, this one last reminder, because that was all she had left.

"I'm sorry Mitchie," she murmured, her head held high, "but I'll keep that. You can keep him – you can have him. I'll keep his last gift, and you can have the real thing."

* * *

"Alex?"

_She was standing in the rain. No, dancing. Her hands were grasped in someone else's, someone whose face she couldn't see. His hands were warm, familiar, and she knew the situation didn't really make sense but she wasn't worried._

_The rain was slowly coming to a stop and a quiet ray of sunshine was peeking through the clouds, spreading gently across her face. She bent her head back and smiled towards the sky as the hands around hers guided her, spinning her around as the last drops of rain fell._

"Alex?"

_Someone was calling her name. Mitchie, maybe? She turned slowly, and Mitchie stood to the right of her, dancing in somebody else's arms. She couldn't see his face either – but Mitchie was smiling too, and that was all that mattered in that moment. "I'm sorry," she yelled to Mitchie, but somehow her voice went unheard and Mitchie didn't seem to care. They were still dancing, dancing, and the rain was still falling but it was a good sort of rain, the kind that smells like a new start and fresh beginnings. A cloud moved above her head as they began to part slowly, the skies wide open before her._

"Alex,"

_Someone was still calling for her. This time, it made her wary. Apprehensive. She ignored it, still smiling up at the sky and thinking of the hands around hers. They held her up – she almost felt as if she wasn't working to stand up straight, as long as this person was there. And then the hands slowly slid away from her, almost so that she didn't realize until they weren't around her. For a moment, she was panicking, scared she would fall. And then the hands were back, but this time, there were more. At least three people, she guessed, all holding her steady and so familiar. It was overpowering, how much that comforted her, and she turned slowly to face the person calling her name._

"_I'm sorry too."_

_The voice said it to her, and suddenly it was pouring, thundering, crashing down on her and all she had were the hands holding her up and—_

"ALEX!"

She woke with a start, her head jumping up from its position on the hard, wooden table. Her guitar was still on her lap and a pencil was in her hand. Her heart was still beating too fast from that dream (nightmare) and she was disoriented, unsure of what was real.

"You okay, Lex?"

She whipped her head around and was face-to-face with a concerned Shane. He looked worriedly down on her and then slowly smiled at her confused expression. "It was just a dream, Lex," he whispered. She blinked up and saw an equally concerned Jason, standing behind Shane.

"Shane, Jason," she breathed, "I – it…it was awful. Something's not right, something's going to go wrong, I can feel it. Tonight…"

"Tonight?" Shane repeated dubiously. "Alex, what happened earlier – with you and Nate? Jason told me you went to tell him…are you okay? Do I need to go kick his ass?"

Alex let out a weak chuckle, amused by the thought of Shane trying to kick Nate's ass for her. "No, no one's ass needs to be kicked. We –" she paused, unsure of what to say. We kissed? Shane would go ballistic. Jason would blame the whole thing on himself. "We – worked things out."

"What…what does that mean?" Jason asked, and Alex couldn't help to think that was exactly what she had been thinking. She had no idea.

"It means everything is okay. It means…it means I don't want to think about it at the moment." She smiled half-heartedly, and Shane and Jason looked for a moment as if they would press her for more information, but they bit their words back and smiled carefully too. She frowned, something nagging her at the back of her mind. Something she was forgetting…

"Mitchie," she whispered, "Mitchie. Have you talked to her? Is she…okay?"

Shane nodded slowly. "She's holding up, Alex. We told her you went to talk to Nate – she understands, you have to know that. She's not the type to pretend as if everything is okay when it's not. She's strong – like you, Lex. And she's a good friend too – she wants what's best for you."

Alex bit her lip. Mitchie _was_ a good friend. And yet she'd hardly spent any time with her this summer. Nothing had really gone according to plan, had it? And all over a boy.

"I told Nate to try to fix things with Mitchie," Alex murmured, "He does love her, no question. But maybe…maybe neither of us is meant to be with him. Maybe we're both better off without him. Look at what happened to us, look at how we let things get between us."

Slowly, she stood, putting her guitar carefully on the table. She stepped forward and when she looked up Shane and Jason were both there, with their arms held out wordlessly. She laughed, smiling genuinely as she stepped into their arms, letting them hug her for what felt like forever. She let a few tears slip again – but this was for other reasons. This was because she would miss them so much – her best friends. Her brothers.

"Um, I hate to interrupt this heartfelt moment," Jason said, his face squished between Shane and Alex's shoulders, "but we do have a dance to get ready for."

Alex laughed as Shane snorted and the three of them pulled apart. It hit her then, that this was it. There was only one more week left of camp. Only seven days, seven days until she'd say goodbye to her best friends and seven days left of her last year at Camp Rock. Seven days to make all the memories last.

"Ready to knock everyone's socks off, Miss Russo?" Shane grinned, holding his bent arm out for his date.

"Always, Mister Gray," she laughed, looping one of her arms through his and the other through Jason's as they walked out the door.

* * *

The next few hours were a blur.

Somehow they'd ended up in Alex and Mitchie's cabin and everyone was flying all over the place. When they'd entered, Mitchie had came at Alex so fast that she could hardly see her until her arms were wrapped around her. Somehow it was as if Alex hadn't seen her for months and months – and maybe they'd gotten so caught up in everything that they hadn't. But this was her best friend too, and they stood like that for a few minutes, laughing and crying and catching up.

It was almost as if nothing had ever happened.

Shane and Jason had run back to their own cabins to get their things, and promised they'd meet the girls back in their cabin in an hour. Nobody mentioned Nate, because at that moment it wasn't about him. He never came up in the conversation, not even to ask where he was. They avoided the topic of him and Alex tried her best not to think of it – and at times she forgot about him completely. And then at other times his face would come to her mind with a pang and she'd pause in whatever she was doing, shaking her head to clear her thoughts.

"Alex?"

She looked up sharply from the mascara tube she was holding but not doing anything with, pulled out of her thoughts. _Don't think about him,_ she reminded herself, _don't think about—_

Her eyes widened and her mouth spread into an awed grin as her eyes fell on Mitchie. She'd stepped cautiously out of the bathroom, a nervous smile on her face. Her hair looked lighter, her eyes gleaming softly in the dim light. She'd straightened the majority of her hair but the ends had been curled gently, framing her face. Alex had expected a far more done-up look, something darker and more glam rock – but this was softer and subtle in a way that caught Alex off guard. She'd gone with an almost nude lip but dark lashes and eyeliner – something so Mitchie, and yet so classy. Her dress was simple and black with gold detailing, and Alex laughed at how mature Mitchie had become. An almost corset-like bodice dipped into a sweetheart neckline and ended with a full skirt, and the whole thing just made Alex smile.

"Do I look okay?"

Alex laughed. "Breathtaking, Mitch." Mitchie laughed and spun around, the gold accents almost glittering in the room. Alex clapped and watched her take a bow, grinning as she grabbed her own dress off from its hanger on the side of her bunk. Mitchie rose from her bow and then crinkled her nose at the sight of the dress.

"You're not wearing that, are you Als?"

Alex laughed. "Hey! Come on, what's wrong with this?" She held up the dress carefully, examining it. She'd worn it to their winter formal, and had gotten plenty of compliments in the process. It was a deep emerald green one-shoulder dress, and Alex had been pretty pleased with it up until about two seconds ago. Now, she wasn't so sure.

"Nothing's _wrong_ with it," Mitchie amended, "But I've seen it already! You need to wow everyone, Lex. It's our last year at Camp Rock – go out with a bang!"

Alex rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "So what do you suggest, that I just _make_ a dress right now? I, unlike you, am not totally insane and didn't bring a million dresses to _camp_, of all places."

"I am not insane! Most of the dresses I brought were casual – and I wanted to have options so I could choose for Final Jam! Plus, you won't be complaining once you're _wearing _one."

Alex had barely comprehended her words before Mitchie was dragging her towards the bathroom, where dresses were randomly strewn all over the countertop. "Go do your hair and make-up," she commanded, "And I'll pick out something fabulous for you."

"Mitch, I think I should just wear my—"

"No buts, Alex. Hair and make-up, go!"

* * *

An hour later, Alex had given up completely on working on her own appearance. Somehow in the process, Mitchie had walked in on her straightening her hair and had practically flipped. Ten minutes afterward, Mitchie had shoved Alex into the chair and was curling her hair instead. It was just easier to let Mitchie take over than to argue with her.

But she put her foot down on the make-up. She didn't want anything overdone – just lipgloss, mascara, and blush were the furthest she would go. Mitchie finally decided that bit wasn't worth arguing and proceeded to brandish the curling iron dangerously close to Alex's face until she sat down and cooperated.

Somewhere between the mascara argument and the curling iron threats, Shane and Jason had entered the cabin and Mitchie had warned them that if they took one step towards the bathroom and saw Alex and her before the "full product" was ready, she'd bite both of their heads off. Shane and laughed and muttered something about her being "feisty", but Jason had looked genuinely scared and retreated into a corner of the cabin. Alex had squirmed uncomfortably in her seat for another twenty minutes (in which she was absolutely forbidden by Mitchie to look into a mirror) until it was announced she was done.

"I'm a genius," Mitchie grinned as Alex stood carefully, unsure of what to expect. "Now put this on," she instructed, throwing a deep red dress towards her. She caught it inches before her face and groaned. "Mitchie, it's _red_. It's so loud – red is you, not me."

"Just put it on, Alex," she ordered as she slammed the bathroom door shut. She took one last down at the dress and held back another sigh as she unzipped it. At least it wasn't pink, right? She peeled off her jean shorts and slid into the dress, the silky fabric wrapping itself easily around her. She tugged the small cap sleeves around her shoulders and the v-neck fell into place, the fabric hitting just above her knees. Little bits of transparent silver material peeked through beneath the sleeves and bust, and she tugged at the dress uncomfortably. She bit her lip and ran her fingers over the material, breathing out as she stepped out of the bathroom.

Mitchie was standing directly outside the door, waiting impatiently. The door swung open and she sprung, jumping towards Alex eagerly. She opened her mouth thoughtlessly before taking it all in, and then she shut it as her expression softened. A small smile spread over her face and then she let out a laugh, grinning at Alex.

"Oh God, Alex, it's perfect. I don't care what you think. You – it's stunning." She paused, smiling again and reaching out to adjust the fabric at the shoulder. "Everyone's going to love it."

"You think?"

"Alex, really. You look beautiful, I promise. But I mean, if you don't believe me, we have other people we can ask!"

And then she was taking her hand and the two of them were stepping out of the back of the cabin together, towards their bunks. Shane let out a dramatic, "FINALLY!" as they stepped around the corner, and then stopped in his tracks as the two girls emerged.

There was a long silence as the girls stood there, looking expectantly at Shane and Jason. Alex let out a breath and whispered, "Well?" Jason, who had been sitting on the bunk with his video camera pointed in their direction, slowly stood. He grinned as he recorded their smiling faces at the sight of the camera and then set it down, approaching them.

"Alex, Mitch," he smiled as he spread out his arms for the second time that day, "You both look gorgeous."

The girls grinned and leapt into his arms, smothering him in a wave of silky material and flowery perfume. Shane let out a laugh and a whistle as the girls pulled away, Jason still smiling at them.

"Hate to say it, but you guys look _hot,_" Shane teased, "And so not like the girls I've known since I was about four."

Alex stuck her tongue out at him and he rolled his eyes as he attacked her with a hug of his own, moving on to Mitchie next. Somehow, Alex sensed an almost awkward pause before they hugged, a moment in which Shane wasn't quite sure what to say (and that never happened with Shane, did it?). But then they were both laughing and Shane's eyes were twinkling with humor as they hugged and Alex wondered if she had just imagined it.

"My lady," Shane joked as stepped back to Alex, bowing to kiss her hand. Alex let out a snort and humored him, letting him take her by the arm.

"I forgot to say," Alex said, "You boys look great too. Very dashing, if I say so myself." Shane grinned and adjusted the color of his dress shirt as Jason chuckled.

"You ready Mitch?" Jason asked, and Alex turned around in surprise as he took her by the hand. "Sorry for the last minute change of your date."

"Wait," Shane cut in, as surprised as Alex, "Jason, you asked Mitchie?"

Mitchie smiled and waved it off innocently, shrugging. "Yeah, as friends." She beamed up at Jason and added, "Thanks, Jase. It'll be more fun with you anyway – after all, friends come first – and boyfriends are overrated. I don't mean to ditch Nate, but…I don't want either of us to have to pretend anymore."

Alex bit her lip at her words and then took Mitchie's other hand so they made a chain of four. "Friends do come first," she murmured, squeezing Shane and Mitchie's hands on either side of her. She glanced down at the floor and then whispered, "Does anybody know where Nate is?"

There was a moment of tense silence in the cabin as the question hung in the air. It was the first time Alex and Mitchie had mentioned him all evening, and Shane's hand tightened comfortingly around hers. But friends _did_ come first, always. She wanted to be able to still call him that, and for the first time she realized that it made her said he wasn't here. He was supposed to be a part of this, after all, the five of them together.

"I don't know, Als," Jason said, "But he said he'd be at the dance."

Alex nodded and with that the four of them were stepping out of the cabin door, arms linked as they headed into the evening air.

* * *

Nate stood in the entrance of the performance hall that Brown had cleared out for the dance. The hall was crowded, filled with people jumping up and down and moving to the music. All of it made him feel sort of nauseous – anxious, even. He fiddled nervously with the knot of his tie, suddenly feeling as if it was strangling him. He entered along the perimeter of the room, staying as far away from the center as possible. Strobe lights flickered from every corner and he was thankful for the relative darkness, the way he could slip away from the crowd unnoticed.

He'd been standing in the entrance for about 15 minutes, and it had taken him this long to even gather up the courage to enter the room. Now it was all too much, and he wished he'd not bothered to show up. He craned his neck momentarily to see if there was anyone he recognized – and then pulled away quickly when he realized he wouldn't even know what to say if he saw any of his friends. Besides, it had been more than a full hour since the dance had started, and by now they'd probably made their way into the center of the throng, dancing their hearts out.

It had taken him this long to finally convince himself he had to come to the dance – and after all of that, he couldn't bring himself to do anything. In fact, what would he do? He'd spent the whole afternoon pacing around in his empty cabin, locking himself up in the bathroom when he'd heard Shane and Jason entering to get ready. All he could think about was that kiss. He'd done it almost without thinking – because that was what it was. Thoughtless, natural, _right_, even. It was so cliché he almost couldn't make sense of it, the sort of cliché he wrote his pop songs about and maybe, maybe what he'd been looking for all along.

And it freaked him out too, just a little. Sure, he'd known Mitchie even before he'd known Alex – and yet, it had never been the same. Alex was like his sister. To even start harboring feelings like his was so unexpected that he didn't know how to deal with it. But then there was the matter of what _she _wanted. She was sending so many mixed signals he'd wondered how he'd ever thought he understood her. And yet, he did – he understood her more than anybody he'd ever known – and she was his best friend.

It would have been something else entirely if she'd told him outright that she loved him, that she wanted to be with him. He was the sort of boy who needed to hear something like that, who had to have everything spelled out for him. He'd drop everything for her, and she knew that. To stay with Mitchie would mean to hurt Mitchie too, and he didn't want that either. If he'd never known about Alex's feelings, maybe he and Mitchie would have been the perfect couple. Happy forever. And yet everything had crumbled once he'd heard those words from Shane, the ones that had shattered his conceptions about everything as it had been until that moment.

It was all that Alex had asked for – for him to try and fix things with Mitchie. But he couldn't do that to her, even if it was what Alex thought she wanted, could he? It would be a lie. How could he stay with Mitchie if he would spend every second wondering what he and Alex would have been?

These were the jumbled up arguments that had run through his mind all day and that ran through his mind then, as he stood there. And now, he was still near the entrance of the performance hall, watching the flashing lights and excited people. He'd come this far. He'd messed up everything. And yet – he had to do this. Somehow summer had come and gone and now there was only one week left for everything that had yet to be said. One week was a short time when you had this much left to say.

Suddenly he was walking forward, making up his mind. It was as if he'd crossed a clear line, the line that separated safety and recklessness, the street between lost chances and taking risks. He was pushing through the crowd then, a sea of eyes turning as he walked purposefully through. He'd known what to expect - but when he finally saw his friends, he wasn't prepared.

Mitchie and Jason came into his vision first. What had been a fast, upbeat song suddenly switched seamlessly into a ballad, and Jason laughed as he promptly stopped some strange version of the chicken dance he'd come up with. He smiled and offered his hand out to Mitchie, who curtsied jokingly as she took it and raised her arms around his neck. It was bittersweet, in a way that Nate couldn't completely understand. He felt a rush of gratitude towards Jason, for taking care of Mitchie as a friend would and making her smile. Nate had been proud of the way he could make Mitchie smile, how he thought he'd be the perfect boyfriend to her – and in the end, he'd ended up hurting her too.

He still wished he could be the one to make her smile, but now it was because she was his friend. She was beautiful, and he could still recognize that. But somehow that little spark was gone, that magic he'd thought he'd seen between them. She had loved him, and he'd thought that was what he'd wanted all along. A girl to love him. It was easy for him to believe that if she loved him, that was all he needed to automatically love her back. And he had loved her – but now, seeing it in a new light, maybe it was never in the same way. When you stripped away her love for him, did he still _need_ her in the same way?

No.

_I'm not in love with Mitchie,_ he realized, and he'd expected there to be fireworks or some sort of epiphany but it was just that, the simple truth. _I'm not in love with Mitchie, _he thought again as a dull, throbbing sensation spread through him, _I'm not in love with Mit—_

And then there was a soft giggle and a flash of silky red fabric before he saw her, out of the corner of his eye.

His breath hitched in his throat and for a moment there, he was sure he had literally forgotten how to breathe. That was cliché too, he realized, but maybe they were meant to be a cliché. Maybe they were meant to have their cheesy happy ever after and fall head over heels in love. Would that be so bad?

It was the giggle he focused on first. It made him dizzy and he could have sworn the world was spinning around him. And her eyes too, the way they lit up when she smiled, the way they almost sparkled in the dim light of the room. The combination of his decision to talk to her and seeing her like this, under the flashing lights and with her beautiful red dress – it was all a little bit surreal.

The scene played out before him was almost too perfect and part of him was scared to step forward into all of it, the same way you didn't want to touch a soap bubble for fear it might pop. But here was the spark he'd thought he'd lost with Mitchie – it'd been here all along. Her cheeks were flushed and he thought of the way she hardly ever blushed when they were younger and how cute she looked when she did. He noticed all these things – and yet just as he was about to step forward, it was the last thing he saw that made his heart sink.

_Shane._

Somehow he'd been so distracted he hadn't even noticed who her arms were wrapped around, who she was smiling up at. And he knew that Shane had been there for her, that he wanted what was best for her too – but that didn't stop him from wanting to tear his brother away from her. When he'd seen Jason with Mitchie, it had been bittersweet. Sure, he'd wanted to be the one that made her smile, but he knew that Jason and Mitchie were only friends and if she was happy then Nate was glad. But seeing Alex laugh with Shane like that was just _bitter._ And maybe they were just friends, but he couldn't be sure and it was hard to think straight when all he saw were searing hot flashes of anger before his eyes.

He wanted to yank Shane away, to take his place and dance with Alex forever so they could pretend that nothing else had ever happened except for the moment they were living in. And yet somehow, in all of this, it hit him that none of the four of them had realized he'd been standing in the background, watching their happiness. It could simply be because of the poor lighting, or because they couldn't hear a thing except for the music. But everything seemed to have fallen perfectly into place except for him, and to intrude on this picture would somehow be wrong. Without even noticing, five had become four (and weren't even numbers always nicer anyway?) and they were better off without him. They were happy, like this.

His eyes fell on Alex, who was still dancing to the music. They were laughing and the two of them spun together effortlessly on the dance floor. They twirled in unison past Mitchie and Jason and as they passed, Mitchie called Alex's name. Alex turned with a smile and caught her friend's eye, mouthing something back. Her voice was lost to the music, but Nate still caught the words that slipped from her lips – "I'm sorry".

He felt sick to the stomach and his palms clenched into fists with the realization that somehow along the way, he'd almost ruined a friendship. No, more than just one. Mitchie and Alex's, his and Mitchie's, his and Alex's. _Three _friendships. Maybe the second two weren't almost ruined – maybe he _had _ruined them.

He watched Shane slowly slide away from Alex and for a second he was inexplicably happy. But then she was spinning around again and Jason and Mitchie had joined Shane and Alex to form a small circle, hands grasped together as they rocked back and forth.

"Alex," he whispered, knowing the words were inaudible in the noisy room. He'd whispered them for his own benefit, to hear her own name and know that this was all real, that she was real. But suddenly, as if she'd been called to, her head sprung up and she was looking around, turning to face him, and he'd never seen anything more heartbreaking.

The easy smile on her face slid off without thought as she froze in her spot, staring back at him. For a moment, her thoughts were far too readable in her expression, spelled out clearly in her eyes. The upset face he'd always hated to see – the one he'd seen after her parent's divorce, after Final Jam the year she couldn't perform, when her first boyfriend broke up with her – it was the same, after all those years. And this was the worst of them all, because he had caused it. He'd never in a million years dreamed that he would ever be the reason for that sort of pain to Alex, but it was all there in that split second on her face. And then suddenly she was composed, almost as if a mask had slid over her and she'd camouflaged what she'd been feeling when everything was the matter. When Nate was the matter.

And she always used to tell him everything, he was the one to comfort her after every heartbreak, every fall, every misplaced step. To see her hide pain from him was almost worse than having to see her upset.

When he'd decided to come to the dance, he'd thought they were supposed to get their clichéd ending – but all it took was that one look from Alex and then he was turning around and pushing through the crowd, feeling as if he was suffocating. He wondered how many times they'd ended up running away from each other, how many times their meetings had ended in disaster. She wouldn't chase after him, he knew, and in the back of his mind he wished she would.

"I'm sorry too," he murmured, his back to his four best friends as he continued to push until he was out of the performance hall. The summer air was almost cold compared to the sticky air inside, and it hit him like a wave as he exited the room. He grasped the brick wall for support and slid down against it, fighting back tears. Somehow, his hands made their way into his jacket pocket and he pulled out his cell-phone, locating a number in his phone book. It rang it helplessly in his ear as he clutched at his head, out of breath.

"Hello?"

He was silent for a full minute as the person on the other end continued to repeat their hello. "Nate, is that you? Hello?" He bit down hard on his lip until it hurt, tears starting to glide slowly down his cheeks. This was all his fault.

"Yeah," he managed finally, his voice cracking, "It's me, Mr. Briggs. I know this is really last minute, but," he shut his eyes, his hands shaking as he held his phone to his ear, "I wanted to let you know that I can make it to LA early to promote for the album."

His head was still spinning but now everything else was numb, indifferent to this hurt. His hands continued to shake but he did nothing to steady them, his phone slipping further and further away from his ear. The excited words of the band's manager sounded small and distant, and all he could make out was his last sentence – "We'll send transportation tonight, if that's okay?"

There was another moment of silence and Nate wanted so desperately to be able to tell him that it wasn't okay at all, that he had to stay here and say goodbye to his friends and _Alex_ and…her face floated in his vision, first upset, and then blank and unreadable. He saw the four of them, swaying on the dance floor, blind to their surroundings. Alex, happy and laughing as Shane twirled her around the dance floor.

He raised the phone carefully to his ear, his hands finally still.

"Yes," he murmured, "yes, that's fine."

* * *

**a/n ii: **aaksjdfncakshdf - i don't know why i keep doing these awful things to Nate & Alex - i'm sure you're really getting sick of it. but i have this strange little last idea in my head, so i hope you'll eventually see why i keep doing this. thoughts, please? be brutally honest, if you've got an opinion! also, to _x3OJDx3_, i'm sorry i didn't use you as Jason's date! i thought it would be fitting that he ask Mitchie as friends - but you're awesome and if i could have used you in the story, i would have. ;) _x, cami_


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